Owner: Rebel Rescuer URL:www.rebelrescuer.com Join Date: Mon, 30 Jul 2007 23:15:39 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: A bit of this and that from a rebellious dog rescuer and poker player. Site statistics:Click here
Giddy Giddy Giddy!!! 2007-07-30 21:43:37 OH MY GAWD!! It's like, I'm gonna need a second and a ciggie, and an airhorn!!! I'm beaming like a school girl (and not like a porn star dressed up up like a school girl)!!!!!
Redneck Mommy (the absolute shizz and my absolute blogging heroine...the girly version of hero, not the drug of choice for street people) commented on my blog!!
YAY!! Bring out the fireworks, the wine, the new socks, and the good paper plates!!! I'm one happy and giddy Rebel right now!!
WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO!!!
I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!!
Neighborhood Barbecue? 2007-07-30 17:45:12 I can't believe I almost forgot to tell you!!!
So yesterday PG and I were scrubbing up a dog crate (that particular dog was adopted yesterday and therefore no longer in need of his house) so that a certain little other foster girl might hide her toys in it, when suddenly!! Out of the blue!! Like a flash of swinging, Sin Glaze lightning!! Appeared the neighbor swinger-lady!! She seemed to be doing some ecologically correct activity in her side yard. And of course, because PG and I are great poker players, we wiped the snickers off of our mugs, and proceeded to have a nice conversation that went really well until....
"Hey guys, next month we're having a barbecue for all of the neighbors, right here at our house!"
Omg, Omg, Omg, Omg. My eyebrows gained 4000 feet in altitude.
But I did NOT giggle. Instead, I....
"Great!! Let us know what to bring and when! We'd love to come!"
As PG is bent at the waist, groa Read more:Neighborhood
, Barbecue
Extreme Makeover Home, Please 2007-07-30 14:56:00 Being Monday, and being 31 means that I spent a portion of last night watching the much under-used tv and its friends surround sound, and whatever those other gray box thingies are. This doesn't happen often, which is OK because I simply don't have the patience to wile away precious time staring at someone's else's drama. (Ok, that's a big fat-ass lie right there. I mean, I'm the one who clicks on PerezHilton 60 times a day).
Anyway, when we DO get a sec to watch tv in a semi-reclined postion without a dog, a mop, a phone, or a weapon in my hand, I like reality shows. In fact, one of my fav's is ExtremeMakeover
Home Edition. It's the ultimate underdog show, and one that leaves my frozen bitch-heart melted. It always has me "itching my eye" or finding "something in my eye" so that PG doesn't think I've turned into a wuss. God forbid your husband see a sign of weakness, he might use it against you later when he wan Read more:Please
, Extreme Makeover
Friday's Feast 2007-07-28 01:17:33 The FridayFeast
from our friends at well...FridaysFeast.
Appetizer Describe a toy you remember from your childhood.
**Hmmm...so many to choose from!! How about the My Little Pony castle?! I mean, how cool was that? Not only did the thing have a drawbridge, but it actually had little fake mirrors so that your little fake ponies could stare at their fake hair!! Absolute coolness!!
Soup On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being highest) how observant are you?
**When it comes to dark parking lots, I'm a 12. When it comes to listening to PG's work stories...a pitiful deuce.
Salad Where would you rather be at this very moment?
**Las Vegas, Alaska, pretty much anywhere would be fine! Well, except for the seventh circle of hell aka work.
Main Course When was the last time you learned something new?
**I just learned that Chicken Soup for the Puppy Lover's Soul dog food has "hea
5:33am 2007-07-26 10:09:53 Ya know, sometimes I forget that my little dogs are in fact animals. Granted, they're not snarling wild animals, but they do still retain some of those instincts that cause them to do things like sniff visiting crotches during dinner parties and eat grass until they throw up. And being that my poor uterus is a cobwebby and useless organ (so far), its just natural that I think of the hounds as my babies. Of course, making little clothes for them doesn't help either.
And occasionally they will do things that smack me in the face with a, "We're dogs, we're SUPPOSED to do that". And occasionally it makes me feel like the world's worst doggie mom. Ever.
Keep in mind this was 5:33am. The very ass-crack of dawn (when I like to stand in my yard wearing sorta clothes while being trambled by a herd of tiny hounds). Just an FYI, this was pre-first ciggy of the day, and I was running on a healthy two hours (yes, two hours) of sleep last ni
New Digs 2007-07-25 09:59:36 Here I am, stretching my legs and staring around this empty new blog! It reminds me of when we bought the Asylum a couple of years ago. Well, minus the anti bugspray neighbors and triple digit temperatures.
(Oh and the moving guy who actually dripped sweat on my mom...causing her to streak off to the bathroom with a look of complete fear and disgust on her face. She emerged later wearing one of my tshirts that we used to wrap a painting, but still horrified at the thought of being sweat upon by a strange man with droopy pants.)
But anywho, I'm just happy to be here! Ok, so I'm REALLY happy to have customization options out the yin-yang...this appeases my Creative Beast and keeps him from rearing his ugly crocheting and decoupaging head.
So be patient with me while I arrange the furniture and scrub the floors. After all, I don't know who lived here before!
Bewbie Food 2007-08-02 13:02:58 Um, Happy World Breastfeeding Week you, you, Breastfeeders!! May um, your bewbies always be, uh...milky, and your um, babies always hungry? Keep us abreast of your activities for the um, week. Well, no need to go into detail that is.
How about celebrating this um, glorious occasion by going out to Hooters or climbing some boulders, or maybe just by making a nice dinner of chicken breasts and melon balls? MMM!! And maybe a coconut cream pie?
Or better yet, just spend the day with a jug of wine, er well that might not be good.
Anyway, Happy Breastfeeding week to er, those who um, do that sort of thing! You're the breast!
Ta-ta for now!!
The Nicest Weddin' Ivver 2007-08-01 14:15:51 So PG and I are going to the wedding of some dear old friends this weekend. We've camped, played poker, drank copious amounts of Scotch, and even administered roadside sobriety tests to each other. I couldn't be happier that they've finally hooked up and are making it official.
It reminds me of a wedding we attended last summer for my cousin (or something like that). She's ten years younger than I (which makes her nine years old of course). She and her um...man already had a yearling baby (is that what you call babies that are a year old?) and were gettin' hitched.
I think I'll remember that wedding as long as I live.
The ceremony itself was pretty decent. Short, sweet, in a chapel that was also short and sweet. The reception on the other hand was like Deliverance Part Two, with worse hygiene.
Being that it was summer, of course the likely spot for the celebration was someone's backyard located a mere 25 feet from a four lane road. W Read more:Nicest
Wanted Dead or Alive 2007-07-31 10:11:08 It has come to my attention that there is far more to worry about in this world than accidental dismemberment, toilet overflows, and running out of sweet tea.
Oh yes, there is a darkness looming that few are aware of. It will hit you when you least expect it. Just when you think all is well, it will kick your butt to the curb and leave you wearing government underwear and crying for Mommy.
Yup. You can now be arrested for overdue library books.
Not only CAN you be arrested for not returning those overdue books, but people ARE being arrested (though I cannot reveal my sources).
So imagine one of those fine days when you're running late and speeding just a teensy. You have your kids, the dog, your mother, a picnic basket, and an umbrella in the trunk. All is right with your picnicking self! And of course, suddenly a copper pulls your sorry butt over.
But your butt ain't sorry...yet!
He then cuffs you (and NOT in a good way), throws you in the Read more:Alive
Thank you phone company 2007-08-04 20:13:20 Ok, a nice big "F.U." to my phonecompany
for first knocking out my phone, then repairing it, then knocking out my DSL, and NOT repairing it. Thank
you, Jerks. May the fleas of a thousands camels crawl up your collective asses and gnaw at your tiny little ass-entombed brains.
So, I'm covertly riding on PG's company's wireless something or other. Fortunately its unlimited. Unfortunately, one cannot surf porn on a Fortune 500 network. They frown on that.
As soon as the phone company pulls it out and gives it some air, I'll let you know about the wedding we attended today. For now though, I cannot post pics, surf porn, add graphics, play poker, or anything that I usually do on my laptop.
(OK, so I don't really look at porn.)
(Well, sometimes.)
(But not that often.)
Right now it's raining buckets and I'm doing what I was raised to do in cases of extreme precipitation...sit inside the garage with the door up and watch it.&nbs
Pain in the Ass Awards 2007-08-03 13:12:01 This is the first installment of what I'm sure will become a regular feature here at Rebel Rescuer. In the PITA Awards
department, we'd like to give a big "HELL NO" to the following products or ideas that have successfully made our lives more difficult.
1. Childproof medicine bottles - fine if you have a toddler around. A PITA if you have a hangover.
2. Automated telephone bill paying systems who are supposed to recognize what you say. But instead keep telling you, "I'm sorry I did not understand your request". A PITA classic.
3. Driver's who believe they are the "citizen police" and will keep everyone safe....by doing three miles under the speed limit.
4. Whoever decided that ketchup bottles needed a small, unremovable circle of plastic inside the lid. PITA for you, me, and anyone without long acrylic nails.
5. Dishwasher soap c
Product Review 2007-08-02 19:58:59 Yoghund Organic Frozen Yoghurt for Dogs
It's not often that we find treats that all seven of the Hounds of Hell will eat. In particular we have a little miss thang who, due to her troubled childhood in the puppymill, will rarely take treats of any kind.
But she was on this stuff like white on rice. And we knew we'd hit the summertime jackpot.
Now let me set the scene for what its like to feed doggie frozen yogurt to seven tiny hounds (who have no manners) at the same time. We took the herd out on the deck and assumed the seated position, PG and I both armed with cups of Yoghund. Well, I can assure you what few manners our dogs have were nowhere to be found. They literally mobbed us to get more of this stuff.
Now most of our friends know that we feed our dogs better than we feed ourselves. And after looking at the ingredients on the Yoghund package, we knew we had to try some ourselves (aww, shuddup...its organic after all). And wh
Tee Hee it Rained Again!!! 2007-08-07 17:54:51 Like a good neighbor (State Farm is There...) anyway I try to keep the grounds of the Asylum looking relatively decent whenever possible.
But this week I really don't care.
But there IS a family reunion this weekend which means that relatives from hither and yon may stop by to see us (and my cobwebby uterus).
(Wait, they don't want to SEE my uterus...just ask sordid questions about why I don't put this thing to work).
Anyway, we NEEEEED to mow or buy a goat or something. Unfortunately its been one of those weeks when I'm tired, bitter, and prone to 31 year old kicking and screaming tantrums. Not attractive at all. And tonight was the night that we were going to (in all of our couple-like cooperation) get the yardwork done.
(But now it's raining, tee hee!!!).
Now my gosh, what could I do instead of mowing the hill country known as our yard?
1. I could take pics of the World's Most Cutest Puppies, Versions 1 and 1.2
2. I could catch Read more:Again
Chow Down 2007-08-06 17:32:33 I've decided that I really should start cooking once in a while so that PG stops telling people that I have to dust the stove. But cooking requires grocery shopping, planning, and dealing with my local stay at home, dye bottle, Desperate Houseflies who spend their days stretching their 6-foot legs across the deli counter. And I don't care to see their tanned, toned, golddigging selves in the produce aisle with my cart full of ice cream and Doritos. But for the sake of Domestic Bliss, I'll give it a try (and PG...the heartburn's on me).
On the menu this week....(because I'm sure you really care what I'm having for dinner ALL week long).
Monday - Pizza Pinwheels and lettuce salad. Fast, easy, and has the word "pizza" in it. Mmmm.
Tuesday - Slow cooker Beef Stroke N' Off (harharhar) and broccoli. Gotta remember to get it ready tonight.
Wednesday - Leftover Stroke (that is if i remember to get it together tonight). No prepare t
A Letter from the Reb 2007-08-05 21:56:48 Dear Mr Telephone Company Billionaire
You are screwing with my life and I'm sick of it. Take my phone, take my liver, but give me back my DSL before I have to hunt you down and beat you with my useless laptop. You are indeed a sick and self righteous individual to leave me no communication other than PG's mid-commercial grunts. I seriously doubt that you have spent the past 53 hours covertly hopping on your husband's laptop, between his work sessions. Do you know what this is doing to me?
As it is right now, I cannot upload pics of my foster dog's two-week old puppies. Don't you realize that we FINALLY selected names today and all of their buddies (and our rescue supporters) would REALLY like to know what we named them?! Don't you realize that my blog looks like a giant tub of mayonnaise because I can't post pics?! Don't you realize that I can't look at anything racy, suggestive, funny, or nekked on PG's computer?! I hate you Read more:Letter
News Updates from Rebville 2007-08-10 08:30:34 *We got our invitation to the Hot Tub Crew's neighborhood barbecue. "Feel free to bring your swimsuit" (not a chance) and "bring your own meat"!! OMG, I nearly choked when I read that!! The thought of their Sin Glaze tub, and meat make me want to alternately laugh myself into hysterics...and throw up.
*The family reunion is this weekend. I'm really looking forward to it, just like the glaucoma test at the eye doctor. Nothing says fun like 96 degrees, old people, and people that I don't like anyway. This is "that side" of the family (everyone has "that side") who somewhere along the lines had their DNA infected by a wicked case of "stupid-ass" and therefore we haven't gotten along in years.
*I should spend today getting ready for out of town guests. However, its summer, they're smart people and therefore able to fend for themselves. Around here, unless you're on four legs...you're
Six Little Numbers 2007-08-09 10:32:57 Whether or not you live in a state where Powerball is available, I'm sure you can appreciate the fantasies that go along with it.
Thanks to a lack of winners last night, the jackpot is now $161,000,000.
As in, wanna go to Europe this afternoon? OK!! Wanna brand new Vette to drive to the grocery store? OK!!!
I think its safe to say that we all have fantasies of what we might do should the Millions Fairy arrive on our doorstep with a caravan of armored cars. I mean, maybe the Amish don't think about these things, but the rest of us sure do!
Well, maybe not those who already are millionaires.
But being a good semi-redneck, I spend great amounts of my feeble mental reserves dreaming of things like swimming pools full of chocolate and golf carts with flame paintjobs. And of course, what nouveau rich rebel would be complete without things like an indoor arena for her little dogs to run in when the weather is bad? I mean, we can't have the tiny toes Read more:Numbers
The old, the divorced, the drunk 2007-08-12 22:48:37 Ok, so the family reunion sucked. Not because anything bad happened....but because NOTHING happened. No games, no silly water balloon fights. Nothing. In fact, it was eerily without argument, dissension, complaint or any of the fun stuff that happens when a lot of persons that share bloodlines get together. I was all sorts of ready to see who wasn't speaking to whom, and who was bringing their new rebound boyfriend, etc. No luck. I do truly believe this makes my entire family abnormal.
Of course, being that the median age was 173, once cannot expect tons of excitement. However, not one person lost their dentures and no was too drunk
to drive their walkers.
With one minor exception.
My uncle.
I love him dearly. In fact, being that my parent's divorced before I could walk....my uncle has been truly the closest thing to a father that I've ever had. He's my buddy! He gave me away at my wedding, and gave me Wild Turke
The Good, the Bad or the Ugly? 2007-08-15 17:45:52 So, it seems that PG will be spending some time in Houston (work thing) in the very near future, and while he's gone, I've decided to take a few days off myself! Normally, I'd take that as a good excuse to get on with my bad self. And while "getting on" seems to apply more to my age these days, there's still plenty of rebel left in the Rebel!! Of course, thanks to chronic fatigue caused by a houseful of barking hounds, my partying days are very much limited. So this leads me to a quandary that I've been finding myself in more and more lately. Should I be.....
The Good, the Bad or the Ugly?
The Good Rebel would spend those days refinishing the deck, freezing bags of peaches, painting the crafty room, and catching up on ironing. She would spend her evenings quietly reading Emily Dickinson poetry and writing letters to PG's relatives in the midwest. (Letters complete with handmade stickers and ribbons). Her meals would cons
Artistic? 2007-08-19 10:38:24 I know, I've been slacking a bit on the blog. However, rest assured that its not because I've been stretched out on the couch eating bon bons. Between dogs flying in and out, to and from rescue, I can't seem to catch a break.
Yesterday however, after yet another "I'm bitching because we never go on vacation" rant (with PG being my intended target), we decided to throw in the towel and spend the day simply goofing around. That lasted approximately three hours before the call of the cleaning had me back home scrubbing the place down.
With bleach. I love bleach.
Anyway, during our three hour break, we stumbled on a local fine arts festival. Now I consider myself to be somewhat artistic (or maybe its autistic, still not sure). And yes, we saw some gorgeous things. But alas, the prices were a bit tough to swallow. At least for these kids, anyway.
What was really interesting to me was the sheer number of "nature ph Read more:Artistic
Vick, Rellenos, Dogs, and Aeroplanes 2007-08-27 17:56:03 Ok, so I'm neither dead nor seriously maimed. In fact, I survived a week without PG pretty darn well (for a girl). Not only did I NOT have to clear the house with the .45 (not even once!), but I never had that creepy home alone and what was that noise? feeling.
But it was hella-busy.
If you don't count the poker playing.
The first night I cooked (har) enough chili rellenos to last all week. Now not everyone can eat them cold for breakfast, lunch and dinner, but I can, and I did. They're like crack only way cheesier. I also bought a no-bake dessert mix, but sadly it's still sitting in the pantry. Never got around to it.
But PG is home now and alls well! And just in time since the very night he flew in, we were SUPPOSED to pick up two new rescue dogs at the airport. However, thanks to Hurricane Chicago, they had to spend the night in the windy city. This just reinforces my dislike of flying dogs all over hell. No one can
Relaxing Day, Barely Survived 2007-09-23 01:23:54 Its not often that PG and I get to take a day and spend the whole thing goofing off. Actually that never happens because there are always the Hounds to care for and no matter how you look at it, they're a lot of work. But today was as close as we've gotten in a long time.
Back up the truck to last night when Nicko the Sicko and I played Wii until 3am. Totally irresponsible and junior high-like. But it was fun (sort of).
Until the alarm went off at 6.
She came back over and mom, PG and I headed to our local flea market to benefit the animal shelter. We found lots of good bargains (which I would post photos of had I not been a dork and left them in the car). Best of all, everything is donated and the entire selling price goes directly to the animals. We love that!
Sidenote - I've been decluttering our house and what do I do? Go buy someone else's clutter. Sigh.
And since we had to be up at that sort of ungodly hour (actually Read more:Barely
Another Day, More Poop 2007-09-20 23:39:00 Drudgery. I feel like Tom Hanks in Castaway. I've already starting talking, not to a volleyball painted like a person, but a squash. Its a lovely squash, but methinks I need to get out more.
Todays adventures included dusting, cleaning up puppy poop, cooking, cleaning up puppy poop, um...and cleaning up puppy poop. Oh my God that's all I freaking do.
I have become a professional dog crap picker upper.
Oh but exciting things DID happen! A trip to Petsmart (are you hearing the cynical tone in my voice?). Seriously I have to figure this housewife stuff out STAT before the gel that holds my brain together melts like a fat lady's makeup on a hot day. Alas tomorrow is Friday and with that brings a weekend with more plans than just cleaning up poop. Nothing terribly exciting but plans just the same.
What I really need is a good poker game. Ya know, bad players whom I can whip into submission and send home broke and crying! Now
Day Two...or why did I quit my job? 2007-09-18 23:30:48 Holy hell, this little sojourn into the housewife club is going to kill me. Seriously, this is HARD!
Today I stayed home all day (well, except for a quick trip to buy newspapers). In other words, it was one long and lonely day devoid of human contact. I'm on BBC overload however and find myself saying things like, "throw that garbage in the skip will you?" Bizarre indeed. I've quit my job and become a British housemaid. What next? Pearls and floral dresses? Not very practical for picking up dog poop and ripping out dead berber.
I mowed today and did some outside cleanup stuff. That was this morning. It amazes me how I've forgotten what mornings smell like when you're not racing to work. It was gorgeous in a yellowy sunlight kind of way. It made me feel my arm muscles, and that's a good thing for "bye-bye arms".
The afternoon was a bitch. Like a hellish, nasty, rabid bitch. My
Housewife Day One Remix 2007-09-17 23:42:41 Ok, so today was the official Day One as a housewife.
I'm SO freaking tired!
Being the good chick that I am, I was up at 5 and softly waking PG for his day at work and my (alleged) fulfilling day at home. Because of that, I was at Target at 8am to do my grocery shopping. I treated myself to a venti Chai Latte (mmmm...gonna need a minute) to help power me through grocery shopping at a strange store. Well, its strange to me but PG's mom said it has some good bargains and every Professional Home Ec'er worth her salt is out to save a few bucks, because that's apparently what they we do. By 9am I was looking at my watch and grocery list and freaking out because, dammit, it was 9am! What's the problem there, you might ask? Nothing except I'm a stress junky and had to invent some reason to double my pulse rate.
As a sidenote, I'm thinking that Target, while economical on food type stuff, has a lot of fun stuff that might actually make the grocery Read more:Housewife
Housewife Day One 2007-09-15 01:10:15 Har, I mean really...Har.
My first day of housewifery (like midwifery without the mess) was kind of a flop. I didn't clean house, I didn't do laundry, and we ate dinner out. Ok so I'm 0 for 1. What did I do? Played poker. Some domestic goddess I'm not.
On the up side, we've got some major homevisits/adoptions in the next two weeks so that's a good thing! I do love doggie adoptions, but bawl like a baby when they go home. What a dork.
So if you haven't tried Flylady, I highly recommend you give her a whirl. (Don't worry, its safe to open the link at work). I used to do it, but fell off the wagon. Well, I'm getting back up on that wagon at the ass-crack of dawn tomorrow (er well, today....shouldn't I be in bed?). I have high hopes for better domestic performance next week. No sense starting on the weekend since PG's home and we have other fun stuff to do (like sleep).
A certain group of lovely fellow d Read more:Housewife
Camping Darn Near Kilt Me 2007-09-12 21:40:43 Long before the days when Mel Gibson painted his face blue, I've had a crush on most any guy in a kilt that isn't 80 or under 18. Laugh if you want, but there's something ultra sassy about men's legs with a bit of plaid swirling about. Pair that with a big-ass drum and this Reb is in Scottish heaven. So imagine just how excited I was to see a new band (well, new to me) this past weekend that had not only one very hot kilt wearing drummer, but MANY.
I mean really, I needed a smoke afterwords.
And this is why....
I mean, really. This guy was ridiculously hot in a manner that is truly unfair to all OTHER men in the world.
Well and we can't forget his Scottish friends....
This one was amazing.
Ok, gonna need a minute....
And an overall of the group.
I'm sorry these photos aren't great. I was a bit too busy sightsee Read more:Camping
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