Owner: Make Funnies URL:www.makefunnies.com Join Date: Sat, 28 Jul 2007 09:29:10 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: News Stories online. Site statistics:Click here
Sponsored Condoms 2007-08-03 10:42:00 Some times Sponsorship goes a little too far
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Jokes 2007-08-03 10:23:00 Here are some funny Jokes
(or what I think is funny)A young fellow in the midst of cutting up in the library, was approached by the librarian. "Please be quiet," she said, "the people around you can't read." "They can't?" said the boy. "Then what are they doing in the library?"A man telephones his office and says, "Sorry, I can't come into work today, I'm sick.""How sick are you?" asks his boss."Well," he replies, "I'm in bed with my sister."Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.How many elephants does it take to screw in a light bulb?Two, but you need a real big bulb.Did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine? He's all right, now. In fact, he's fully recovered.
Signs You've Grown Up 2007-08-07 11:36:00 1.Your potted plants are alive... and you can't smoke any of them.2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.5. You hear your favourite song in an elevator.6 You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.7 .Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup.8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up.'10. You're the one calling the police because those bloody kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.12. You don't know what time McDonald's closes anymore.13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.14. You feed your dog Mydog instead of McDonald's.15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.17. Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one Read more:Grown
Caught not working 2007-08-07 11:16:00 I just go fired yesterday. I don't know what happen. How did they know I was not working Read more:Caught
Grim reapers Pet 2007-08-07 10:26:00 This story is not some much funny but very strange. Last week I read about this cat named Oscar that live in a nursing home with a special talent to find the next patient that will die. The cat has been very accurate with his prediction that the nursing staff would call the families to let them know they loved one was about to die. That is the strange story but now I have read that the cat Oscar was found dead. Make you wonder did the cat know when he was going to die? May be that why he could see people dieing and know when they would die. I think this should going to the X-files.My guess the cat was Poisoned. I think the cat got too much attention and someone in the nursing home killed him.Click here to read the whole story.
To Keep the Men Safe 2007-08-07 09:59:00 Men, please read this if you go to bars or clubs: Guys, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from a girl. There is a drug called "beer" that is essentially in liquid form. The most effective varieties are being shipped in from other countries. "Beer" is now being used by female sexual predators at parties to convince their male victims to have sex with them. The shocking statistic is that this "beer" is available virtually anywhere! All girls have to do is buy a beer or two for almost any guy and simply ask the guy home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are literally rendered helpless against such attacks. Please! Forward this to every man you know... There is safety in numbers...
Talk of the Town 2007-08-06 10:31:00 I am going add Celebrity news but not too muchTalk of the Town for 08/06/07
Geese on the pill 2007-08-06 10:29:00 Here is another story about population control
Dancing Convicts 2007-08-05 22:51:00 Here is the story of the Jail house ThrillerClick here to see the Orginal post
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Very Drunk 2007-08-05 22:49:00 A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: "Why don't you be a good Samaritan and take him home." The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles at least ten times. They drive along and the drunk points out his house to the man. He stops the car and the drunk stumbles up the steps to his house with the man. The drunk's wife greets them at the door: "Why thank you for bringing him home for me, but where's his wheel chair?"
So Close 2007-08-09 10:54:00 I am so close to freedom I could smell it
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Funny Ads 2007-08-09 10:50:00 Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country.Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00. For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover. Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too. Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory. Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand
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, Funny Ads
Funny Foreign English Phrases 2007-08-08 10:26:00 1. Cocktail lounge, Norway:LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.2. At a Budapest zoo:PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.3. Doctor's office in Rome:SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.4. Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner. Japan:COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROLYOURSELF.5. In a Nairobi restaurant:CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.6. On the grounds of a Nairobi private school:NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.7. In Aamchi Mumbai restaurant:OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.8. The best! In a Tokyo bar:SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.9. Hotel, Japan:YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.10. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS,ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT T Read more:Funny
, Foreign
, English
, Phrases
Golf For Beginers 2007-08-08 10:24:00 I love my new golf course and my handicap really drop since I started here.
Dictionary for Women 2007-08-08 10:19:00 Dictionary for women Dictionary for women Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner." Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them. Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church. Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks. Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms. Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game. Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase. Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with yo Read more:Dictionary
, Women
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