Owner: The Reality of Anxiety URL:http://anxiousnomore.blogspot.com Join Date: Tue, 24 Jul 2007 14:17:23 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: A personal journey through anxiety with coping strategies and motivational thoughts, as well as setbacks and a community feel. Site statistics:Click here
When Do the Walls Come Down? 2007-08-01 13:12:00 photo by MangeshonlineFirst off, I apologize for not posting yesterday about goals like I originally planned. I was without a computer for most of the night and I can't find my book that discusses what I wanted to talk about. So in the meantime I will list the book in case anyone is interested in it, and hopefully I will find it soon and post on the topic. The book/manual is called "Getting An Edge- Student Edition" and has a lot of really good stuff on making short and long term goals. So I will try to find it.In the meantime, I have my friend Rachel coming over tonight. We are going to make some magnet boards to give to our other friend Lindsey for her bridal shower. I am nervous about tonight in the fact that I worry we will run out of things to talk about and there could be some awkward silence.I forget what its like to not have to work at a friendship. I remember having best friends in high school or growing up where I felt completely comfortable around them. My walls were down a Read more:Walls
Personal Bill of Rights 2007-08-05 22:58:00 photo of one of my dogs on the way to the mountains on FridayI am so sorry that it has been so long since I've posted. I took the weekend off for a little get away for my anniversary but I am back now. I had a really great time and I got a new Rebel XT Digital camera so hopefully I can put more of my own pictures on here in the future.I also had a bridal shower on Saturday and when I showed up I noticed tables set up in another room with place settings, and the smells coming from the kitchen told me there was a full on meal being prepared. Usually at showers there is a light amount of food, fruit, desserts, maybe a croissant sandwich, but this smelled heavy. Sure enough it was a two course meal and I got nervous. I took a spot that was in the corner but surprisingly the table I chose filled up with people while others stayed more empty. I cursed myself for picking the spot. I was hoping to be more secluded so I wouldn't feel like I was being watched. So I took a little clonozepam. Th Read more:Personal
, Rights
Focusing on the Negative Only Makes Things More Ugly 2007-08-08 17:15:00 photo taken by me with a macro filter on a Cannon Rebel XT. **You have to click on this picture to enlarge it to see the details of this fly. Its kinda gross.**I am going to go off of some thoughts I had taken from SA D’s blog post about Modifying your Perception. I won’t quote any of it but it is a really good, helpful post in my opinion. There is a quote that hangs in a coworker’s cubicle of mine: “Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you but on what happens inside of you.” One person can be stuck in a traffic jam and think to themselves, “I can finally listen to this CD that I never have time to” and they are enjoying the situation the best they can. Meanwhile the person in the back of the car can only think of how horrible a situation they are in and curse and moan about how life stinks and now your going to be late and what kinda moron would get in an accident here and cause all this traffic etc. etc. They are fully upset and angry. Happi Read more:Focusing
, Negative
Overly Sensitive of Society's Ignorance but Feeling Justified 2007-08-07 17:03:00 So yesterday my old boss instant messaged me out of the blue. She was always like a mother to me and I really loved working with her. However here is how the conversation started: MA says: Hey, send me your blog site again so that I can see your Hawaiian pictures. I didn't get to look at them before. Aimée says: http://newsfromthewhitehome.blogspot.com/ Aimée says: I don't put very much on there unfortunately so it hasn't been updated in awhile Aimée says: how are you? MA says: I am good. I went to the site and your pictures are great. You look way too thin. Are you losing weight? Your trip looks wonderful.one of the photos she would have been referring to me looking "way too thin" Now after I read that last line I felt like she had just punched me in the face. For me that statement would come across EXACTLY the same way as if she had said it the opposite way, “You look way too fat. Are you gaining weight?” Had anyone said that to most people in America yo Read more:Sensitive
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Taking Notice 2007-08-06 13:00:00 photo by augfwAfter my long weekend off I was worried that I would have lost some readers and would have had a hard time picking it back up. However when I checked my email I saw some amazing developments. What a surprise! I received an email telling me,"...we have selected The Reality of Anxiety as one of our Top Site Award recipients! We are honoring the top Anxiety blogs and sites on the Web, as picked by our experts. Your blog delves into the issues surrounding social anxiety with candor and compassion. We applaud your efforts to keep the Anxiety community informed and involved."How awesome is that! I am so excited about it. You can go to their Top Sites Award Page to see the other blogs that won the award. Many of them I link to and some I do not but have looked at before. All are great sites in my opinion for more information on anxiety. So I have posted the award on the side of the blog but here it is for you all to see in all its glory... (drum roll...)Tah Dah! (trumpets play Read more:Taking
Vitamin B and C for Anxiety 2007-08-10 14:50:00 photo by sadalitA new commenter to the blog recently asked some questions on Vitamin
B. I thought rather than have a novel reply I would do a post on it so everyone can benefit. I have to say I am not a doctor so please don’t sue me for anything that I say and you do and it doesn’t work ;) Ok so what I am going to tell you is all from the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. I will paraphrase it but he says it much more elegantly: Vitamin B When your body is going through stress it depletes stores of B and C vitamins rapidly. The B vitamins are necessary to help maintain the proper functioning of the nervous system. Deficiencies in Vitamin B can lead to anxiety, irritability, restlessness, fatigue, etc. There is more than one kind of Vitamin B. (B2, B6, B5, B12, etc.) It is best to take all eleven of the B vitamins together in a B-complex supplement since they tend to work together synergistically. Vitamin C Vitamin C enhances the immune system and promotes health from infection
More about Morning Anxiety 2007-08-14 21:00:00 photo by piotr zurekIt seems that there is a lot of interest in morning anxiety. I was curious about this because when my anxiety is the worst, its always in the mornings. So I decided to do a little research on my own. Interestingly, Jerry from rxlist says, "Yes, depression and anxiety are worse in the morning. That is when your body's cortisol level is the hightest(cortisol is stimulating) and that accounts for probably part of what you are feeling. Cortisol is the stress hormone, your body produces when you are under stress. The paradox of stress/cortisol is that anxiety produces cortisol, which produces anxiety which produces more cortisol, which causes you to feel more anxious...etc.... Soon you find yourself in this never ending cycle of anxiety and depression. What you must do to get well is ACCEPT your anxiety. You must ACCEPT your feelings and not try to fight them. Do this long enough and an interesting thing happens, the anxiety goes away." Deanne Repich from her article Un Read more:Morning
Cloudy on the Inside 2007-08-13 20:05:00 photo by illustriousbeanLately I have been feeling a little bummed out for really no apparent reason at all. I had a rough work day with excruciatingly long meetings and I know that the rest of the work week will require some extensive overtime. So I guess thats a reason. I got home and started cleaning my house but lost interest and energy after a little while. Now I feel really grumpy and can't really explain it.Maybe its the last days of summer flying past me with the heat thats causing me to feel so lazy and sad. Maybe its just a bad rut. But I can't really focus enough to write a really decent post so I just decided to write how I feel.I am starting to not like going to my church for the simple fact that everyone has children except me. So I sit there and all I can think about is how many people have babies and little children and why can't it be so easy for me? It makes me feel defected in a way. But I know I just need to put my trust in God and he will support me in my trials
Simple Stress Reliever- Have a Good Chuckle! 2007-08-16 18:29:00 I don't usually post funny things on here, mostly because I feel that my anxiety isn't funny. I also am hesitant to put anything controversial on here because of my SAD nature. I very much so want everyone in the world to like me. If Heaven forbid someone didn't than I would have to spend forever analyzing why and what I needed to do to change their opinion. Thats how I have always been and probably always be. Middle of the road, happy go lucky, be nice to everyone. However I do think that its nice to be able to laugh at yourself every now and then. Otherwise we stay in our self awareness nit picky judgmental attitudes right?So since I have been working a lot and am getting tired of it, I can use a laugh.While surfing for a serious webmd video on Youtube, I came across this parody instead. Personally it made me smile. If it offends anyone, sorry, but like I said, I think its good to laugh at what you are going through occasionally.Ok if you want a really good serious movie about red Read more:Simple
How To Gain Confidence- Express Yourself Creatively! 2007-08-15 21:02:00 I don't have very much time to post today so I decided I would leave this quick thought:I know that the biggest reason I have social anxiety issues is due to a lack of confidence in myself. I've mentioned this before but since its so constant in my mind I will mention it again. One way I am trying to overcome that is to pick up hobbies that I like that allow me to express myself creatively. This not only allows me to be proud of myself and what I have accomplished- but I feel it also gives me a sense of depth as a person, and it helps to define who I am in small ways. Also, it seems to relieve stress for me. Maybe it can do all of that for you too.So one of my latest hobbies is photography. I also love to scrapbook, play the piano, blog (yes I consider it a form of creativity and expression) and I am sure I will pick more up along the way. I don't claim to be a professional at any of them but it is very fun. Here are some recent pictures I have taken with my new camera I got for my Read more:Confidence
, Express
, Yourself
Blog down ALL DAY and potential Book Review 2007-08-22 17:39:00 Unfortunately Blogger has been having some issues and my blog has been unaccessible in IE all day long! So I am sorry for anyone who keeps getting an error. It works in Firefox- woo hoo! I personally love Firefox.So lately I have been feelin the stress. BIG TIME. I am trying to stay positive but we're talking potential life changing events. So I can't really focus on very much else right now. I just pray that it will all turn out okay. I will keep you posted. Usually when I get like this I bite all my nails but since I have fake ones one, I have resorted to ripping them all off. Now my fingers hurt.Anyway, I will try to come up with a good post in the near future as the last little while I have been feeling drained. I want to read "Feeling Good" because I have heard good things about it. I reserved a copy at the library and look forward to getting it. Anyone already read it? Any reviews?
Yoga for Workaholics 2007-08-20 13:32:00 If you are like me than you spend the majority of your day sitting in front of a computer. With all of the work that I do it makes it difficult to set a time to do yoga even though I know it is so very beneficial to me. I always feel so much better after doing it. Luckily I came across some really cool, short videos that show you different yoga techniques that you can do at your desk at work to help you take a break. Its nothing huge or life changing, rather something small and easy to implement that could help you have a better day. The majority of these I could do at my desk without drawing very much attention to myself. A few I probably would get some weird looks if anyone saw me. I think they are worth checking out, especially the neck stretch, shoulder, wrist, spine, chest, seated twist, and seated twist with legs crossed videos.Enjoy :)Click here for more on "Office Yoga: Easy Exercises for Desk Jockeys"If you enjoyed this post Subscribe to The Reality of Anxiety
What to Do When Your Spouse Gets Fired? 2007-08-24 10:56:00 photo by blmurchYep, my hubby got fired this week from his job. The stress is horrible. So many thoughts race through your head. What are we going to do for money? What can I do to comfort him? What kind of changes are we going to have to make to our budget? Are we going to have to move? Am I handling this the right way? Should I be angry? The list goes on...Also, I think this would be a great time for him to go back to school, but he is still deciding. I have told him my thoughts several times, but I can only nag so much and its his life. Its so much easier for me to say what to do when I don't have to do it.So for now we will see what happens. Honestly I think its a blessing because the company he worked for was horrible and didn't appreciate his hard work at all. Plus now he can hopefully find something he loves doing or like I said, finish school. I have tried to be very supportive and loving. I have tried not to worry too much because I know he can find another job easily if he Read more:Spouse
, Fired
Rejecting Rejection 2007-08-29 14:06:00 photo by wuji9981It seems that when I am not having horrible nightmares of being shot and dying, I am having dreams of being rejected. The person(s) rejecting me vary from night to night, but the theme is always the same. I am usually back in high school confronting friends, or crushes, or old flames and all of them don't want to be around me for some reason. I spend the entire night pining for their acceptance and mourning over the lack of it. I feel sad, discouraged, and lonely all night long. According to Dream Moods, "To dream that you are being rejected, signifies a lack of self-worth and alienation of others."Another website about the symbolism of dreams says,"Rejection in a dream shows that the dreamer either is frustrated by non-acceptance or want to rid himself of certain feelings."This seems to go hand in hand with yesterday's post discussing Self-Esteem. Ok so I have already admitted that my self-esteem could use some work. But this is not some
How Self-Esteem Feels 2007-08-28 19:31:00 This is taken from La Belle Foundation which is a self-esteem learning foundation (S.E.L.F.):"These are general descriptions of how we feel when our self-esteem is high and how we feel when it is low. Those of us who fit either description on a regular basis know that our self-esteem is in tact or in need of work. You are generally not thinking about yourself and do not analyze yourself. You feel good most of the time. When you feel bad, it doesn't last long. You are resilient in the face of diversity. You smile a lot. You have positive belief systems about your self, your family and society as a whole. You have lots of energy. You are able toaccomplish most of your goals. You are friendly. You enjoy meeting and being with others. You draw people to you. You make long-term friendships. You look Read more:Feels
Pulled in all Directions 2007-08-28 12:37:00 Quick Post to let you know that right now I am feeling pulled in all directions. Work, wife, church, all is extremely stressful right now and I am sorry that I haven't posted. I have been thinking about it but I don't have much to offer right now as I am just trying to keep my head above water.I successfully prevented a panic attack on Sunday by breathing deeply and writing down positive affirmations and some mistaken beliefs- ex I asked myself, "Whats the worst thing that could happen? How would I handle that? Is it really all that awful?" and I also took some clonozepam. It was really helpful.I promise to post something useful soon, hopefully today.Here is an interesting article from Healthcentral.com about replicating the out of body experience you feel when having a panic attack.
Read more:Directions
Anticipatory Anxiety over Business Trip 2007-08-30 14:07:00 photo by Bruno D RodriguesToday I found out that in a few weeks I am going to have to travel to North California for business. I will be doing this trip alone. That scares me to death. I am trying to look at it as an adventure but I know I will be a nervous reck about it. I will have to rent a car and drive which that alone is enough stress and anxiety, but add driving to unknown places in unfamiliar towns and cities and thats really scary for me. I have never done something like this before. At least all by myself. I am going to have to plan as much beforehand as I can with maps and mace. Just thinking about it is making feel like I can't breathe. I am having to take giant heaping breaths even as I type this.***Ok I just took a quick walk away from my desk and was thinking about it and I am trying to focus on the excitement aspect, not the fear. I will be able to take pics of the Golden Gate bridge and prove to myself that I am a capable of doing this on my own. It will be a challeng Read more:Business
Anxiety is Full of Ups and Downs 2007-09-26 11:10:00 photo from my yesterday's adventure Yesterday was an interesting day. I had to start the day driving around downtown Salt Lake City to find the Utah Board of Education building. I was going to install our software on one of their computers. Well, the address that was given me was wrong. Driving somewhere that I’ve never been to before I hate, but even worse is getting lost and being late to something important. I started to panic. I quickly called Tyler and explained the situation to him. Luckily his new job had him right around the corner and he was able to come and help me. I was able to get there only a little bit late. It was a stressful experience but I made it through just fine. On my way back to the office I picked up some fast food. I tried to eat it at my desk but kept getting interrupted and soon it got cold. But I was full anyway so no big deal. Than a couple co workers and I decided to go take some photos of the fall colors in a nearby canyon. On the drive down ther
I Can Only Imagine 2007-09-24 17:00:00 Its not a new year, but it feels like today is a fresh start, a clean slate. Its a very hopeful feeling. I think its because I am finally starting to feel better, and work is finally calmed down a bit. Instead of working like a dog I am planning for the next time I will have to work like a dog. Also my birthday is coming up and that is in the back of my thoughts, so I guess it is almost a new year in some way.Today I got a magazine subscription offer that I would normally turn down, but it was sent from my little nephew in Ohio in his little kid handwriting to help him raise money for his school. How can you turn down that? So I am going to order Women's Health and I am excited about it.Ok so to go along with this great feeling that I have today, I want to share with you one of the most inspirational videos I have ever seen. Every time I see this video it makes me cry, but it has an amazing message.This is a video of a father and son team that runs triathlons. To learn more about Team Read more:Imagine
Pharmacists Might Care After All 2007-09-21 10:16:00 photo by TheConsumeristYou always see those commercials about the pharmacist going to your kids baseball game, showing how much they care about their patients, but you know its all bull. I usually get my prescriptions filled at the nearby Smiths grocery store, and it seems every time I go the people working there had no idea what they were doing. I have never been impressed.However yesterday I had the first good experience at a Pharmacy. Due to the last week and a half of feeling completely miserable, I decided it was time to go see the doctor and make sure I didn't have strep throat or something that antibiotics could help with. After my doctors visit I went to Smiths to pick up my prescriptions. Ty got a new job but there is a trial period before his insurance kicks in, so I signed up with my company. But I didn't have the card to prove it since I signed up the day before. So the pharmacist told me until I could get them the information they needed, I would have to pay full price.
How Dreaming About Positivity Actually Boosts My Confidence 2007-09-19 14:32:00 photo by benrybobenryI had a very unusual dream last night. I dreamt that I was getting ready to go to college and I was organizing my new “dorm” like living space. I was ok with the idea of everything and I felt confident in my ability to handle the situation of going to school and taking college courses. Here’s why that is so interesting. I don’t really tell people this, but I am scared to death of going to college, and therefore have never set foot in a college classroom. Why? I have no idea. I know this is an excuse, but deep down inside I grew up with the attitude that I would never go to college because it was too expensive and I would have to pay for it myself. Now I think it seems too overwhelming for some reason. So it was interesting to me to feel so okay about taking this on. Like it was no big deal. When I woke up it made me start to wonder about if it really would be something I could do if I treated just like that, no big deal. I want to get my husba Read more:Dreaming
, Actually
, Confidence
9 Ways to Motivate Yourself 2007-09-17 13:18:00 Lately I have been a bit of a slacker when it comes to behaviors I know in the long run will help me feel better but I am not in the mood to do them. It can feel like a lot of work sometimes to start a new behavior, especially if you feel under the weather like I do right now. So I thought I would do a little research on motivating myself to get off the couch (which will be even tougher now that new fall series are starting!) and do my yoga, prepare for a healthy meal, or even simply taking my medication. I have simply gotten lazy. Here is a really cool article I found by Skye Thomas over at www.icbs.com:"Achieving the really big goals and dreams always involves breaking it down into do-able little steps. Assuming that you've picked a goal or dream that you really love working at, then most of the steps are a delight to take. No matter how much you love your dream and no matter how much you love your work, there are going to be tasks along the way that you really don't want to do. T Read more:Yourself
Question Box 2007-09-13 16:58:00 photo by Tal BrightI want to base as many posts as possible on real questions from readers. So - the ‘question box’ is open. This posting is going straight to my sidebar as an ongoing conversation. It is my question box, where anyone at anytime can ask me a question about anxiety or stress or anything related to Mental Health. Although I am not a physician, I will do my best to help you with whatever questions you have on the subject, or otherwise find someone who is better qualified to answer it for me. Maybe its medication related, or ways to reduce stress, you name it. Ask away. I will respond here in the comments section but will also do posts on the topic if appropriate. Any topic is fine - but I’ll of course give priority to those that are on topic to this blog. So fire away, I am looking forward to seeing what the Reality of Anxiety community comes up with. Note: If you don’t want your name/blog to be linked to your question feel free to ask it anonymously. Please sub Read more:Question
Lonely Like a Fish Out of Water 2007-09-13 12:51:00 photo by colodioSorry for the delay in posts but I have been out sick for two days without a computer. I have been going through Reality of Anxiety withdrawals. So a very interesting thing has happened to me lately. With my business trip and my husband now gone on a business trip and with all the overtime I have been working before the business trips, it feels like a long time since my husband and I have spent any time together. And at first I was fine, in fact I love spending time alone to do whatever I want, or better yet, nothing at all. However the last few days I have started feeling lonely. This is not common for me at all. I am finding myself calling friends and family just to talk. I actually went over to a friend’s house last night to hang out for no reason at all, just because I wanted to get out of my house and interact with someone. It’s been overwhelming. I haven’t broken down into tears but have felt close to it at times. I just feel so alone and useless. Luckily Ty Read more:Lonely
Quick Thought For the Day 2007-09-10 13:47:00 While in a classroom installing our software I saw this quote hanging above the chalkboard, "Be yourself. An original is always worth more than a copy."I like that because so often we are trying to conform to what we think is acceptable, what's appropriate, what others will like us for, instead of just being what or who we are.In this picture my niece is being just that- crazy, spunky, I'll do anything to get you to laugh, Rylee Jane.If you enjoyed this post Subscribe to The Reality of Anxiety or Add it to Your Technorati Favorites.
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Do's and Don'ts of Traveling with Anxiety: Part 3 2007-09-08 14:16:00 For me this is the best thing I did for myself on my business trip to California. If renting a car, DO rent a GPS unit to help you navigate.I have a lot of anxiety with driving. It took me 3 tries to get my license and it was only due to my parent's pushing me. I was 18 when I finally got it. I had no desire to drive. Sitting in the driver seat nearly gave me panic attacks. I eventually got used to it, but had a hard time on the freeways. So I would drive if I had to but I would avoid freeways as much as I could.Now I have to drive an hour to work everyday on the freeway. I don't like driving with people in the car with me, and I don't like driving when I don't know how to get there. So anytime I have to drive with others, I actually ask someone else to drive my car so I don't have to deal with the anxiety.So for me to go to a busy city like San Jose and San Fransisco all by myself and drive everywhere, this caused a lot of panic for me. It was probably what I was the most worrie Read more:Traveling
Do's and Don'ts when Traveling with Anxiety: Part 2 2007-09-07 00:40:00 DO know a bit about the culture you are going to.I will never forget when my 6th grade Spanish teacher told me the most important thing you can remember in the Spanish language is "?Donde esta el bano?" Translation= Where is the bathroom? I used to laugh about that. Today I was driving around and I had to pee really bad! I stopped at a 7 eleven but they didn't have any restrooms. She told me to go to the restaurant next door. In there I asked the woman where the bathrooms were and she looked at me in confusion and said "No speak English." In San Jose, it appears most adults only speak Spanish. All of the children are becoming bilingual in school, but the parents are more behind. I am definately a minority in these parts. So back to the story, I smiled and I was able to ask her in Spanish my question. Its one of the only things I can remember to say and today it was very relieving!DO put yourself first.There have been many times on this trip where I was worried about being late, wonder Read more:Traveling
Do's and Don'ts when Traveling with Anxiety: Part 1 2007-09-04 23:31:00 Today was my first day of travel on my business trip and I have sooo much to say from what worked and what didn't that I thought it might be best if I broke it up into Parts. So here is Part 1.DON'T Assume you are in a good enough place to not properly prepare your mind beforehand.You would think I would have learned my lesson from my last trip to Hawaii. But when my business trip that was scheduled in few weeks suddenly turned into a few days, all I could think about was packing, scheduling, finances, etc. I figured I would bring my medication and my mp3 player with my recordings of positive affirmations and that would be enough. WRONG! Unfortunately on the way to the airport I had my first full blown panic attack in 4 months. I am not sad about it because I know that every setback has a valuable lesson to be learned, even if it has to be shoved down your throat in my case. I think the second time is a charm, and I won't forget it for the next time. I should have properly prepare Read more:Traveling
A Case of Stolen Identity Blog Style 2007-10-01 14:38:00 It has come to my attention that there is a website out there that automates all of my content onto their website. Now normally I love links back to my site or when someone mentions a post I did or reposts one of my posts on their blog. However this isn't anything like that. This website just takes whatever post I have done and posts it as their own on their website with ads everywhere so they are making money off of my blog. That bothers me because I don't have ads on this blog and if anyone should be making money off my content it should be me.So why am I bothering all of you with this? Because I cannot get this person to stop, so I am hoping that they will see this post when they steal it and get the hint. I have emailed everyone I know of to try to stop them but I haven't heard back from anyone. Not even Google who is sponsoring her ads has responded to my 2 emails I sent them.The website in question is www.fearaid.org. If you are currently on this website and viewing my content Read more:Style
Warning: Anxiety Can Cause Insomnia 2007-09-29 01:23:00 photo by MontanaRavenLately at my house we have been going to bed earlier because getting up earlier in the cold, dark mornings of fall seems so impossible. Tonight we turned the lights off at 10:00 which is pretty early, especially for a Friday night! However my mind was tired and I LOVE sleeping so I don't mind.The last little while I have been having problems falling asleep. This has never been the case before. I used to be able to fall asleep anywhere at any time of day. Lately, when I lay down to fall asleep, I feel like I have restless leg syndrome, only its in my legs and my neck and my arms, etc. I can't get comfortable and after 30 seconds in one position I desperately have to rotate because my body is just itching to move. Previously this behavior would continue for a couple hours until sleep finally came over me, but its a horrible battle. Tonight, I got so tired of it I just got out of bed and decided to do something more productive until I got really tired.I was doing re Read more:Cause
, Insomnia
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