Owner: NJ Voices -- Joel Schwartzberg URL:http://blog.nj.com/njv_joel_schwartzberg/ Join Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2007 12:36:14 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: A-musings about New Jersey culture from an award-winning humorist and essayist. Affiliated with the Star Ledger, NJ's largest newspaper. Site statistics:Click here
Who let the Vick out? 2007-07-18 09:33:18 The Bite Stuff You know they won't be playing "Who Let the Dogs Out?" the next time indicted canine cage match enthusiast and football superstar Michael Vick takes to the home field in his Atlanta stadium. But maybe they will...
Grating Cards 2007-07-17 10:00:50 All in the Cards
Summer is a big celebration month for me. In addition to Mother's Day and Father's Day, the birthdays of all thee of my children and my mother's and father's birthdays all fall in these months as...
iPod Shocker 2007-07-12 12:21:49 Shock it to me? I listened to my iPod
for five blocks in the rain yesterday, thinking the most dangerous thing that could happen was poking a fellow pedestrain's eye out with my cheap umbrella. So when my mother called...
Tracks of My Tears 2007-07-10 15:50:36 No state better understands the commuting lifestyle better than New Jersey. The only thing that would make Garden Staters more comfortable on commuter trains would be if the tracks had jughandles built into them. Which is why it's so... Read more:Tears
Watching Watchung 2007-07-06 11:23:19 Sign of the Times A few mornings ago, as I exited my girlfriend's car and headed toward Montclair's Watchung train station, we both knew something was different. Four New Jersey Transit police cars lined the curb, including a K-9 unit... Read more:Watching
"The Price is Right" producer audition notes 2007-07-19 15:40:13 I've secretly managed to obtain The Price is Right
"Producer's Notes" on recent high-profile applicants to replace Bob Barker. Sadly, none of them made the final round. But see the audition notes for yourself. ------------------------ Applicant: Lewis "Scooter" Libby...
Paint Misbehaving 2007-07-23 07:40:12 Translation: "Great rugelach around the corner, fellas!" We ask a lot of our Garden State suburbs: proximity to the city, but complete protection from urban crime and filth. Fine dining and bakeries, but also quick pizza, Chinese takeout, and a... Read more:Paint
Governor's pen, phone mightier than sword 2007-07-27 13:16:45 Hester and Andree A few months ago, I had the pleasure of seeing the documentary "Freeheld," about Laurel Hester, a dying Ocean County police lieutenant and her 2005 struggle to leave pension benefits to her life partner, Stacie Andree. This... Read more:Governor
, phone
The truth behind NJ diners 2007-07-26 11:00:11 Everyone has a favorite diner, especially in New Jersey. My kids love the free lollipops at Maplewood's Park Wood Diner, while my girlfriend Annie and I dig the big salads and onion rings at Park West in Little Falls.... Read more:behind
Garbage sales 2007-07-30 10:33:03 Waste Not? Drive through any suburban New Jersey residential street and you'll see we're in the midst of garage sale season. It's fun for the neighborhood traveler with time to kill and an interest in stained potholders, but quite an... Read more:Garbage
Apocalypse now? 2007-08-01 11:47:07 Gunhog's Day...Does he know something we don't? When I found my Maplewood township health department's "Guide to Preparing for Pandemic Flu," tucked in the mail beneath the Valu-Pak last year, I was very disturbed. I chalked it up to a... Read more:Apocalypse
A fair to remember 2007-08-06 14:23:48 About six bucks into my attempt to win a big stuffed animal at the New Jersey State Fair / Sussex County Farm and Horse Show last Sunday, I realized the fix was in. I was tossing small balls into...
Hating the hate-speech 2007-08-09 12:36:52 Scroll Down A friend forwarded me an online petition to have this guy removed from Google search results (where he currently lives at #2) for the term "Jew." The "certified librarian" runs a site called Jew Watch, calling it "the... Read more:Hating
A tree grows in Maplewood 2007-08-14 13:30:28 Its bark is much worse than its bite I was parking in Maplewood's pay lot by the corner of Maplewood Avenue and Baker Street when I noticed this amazing sight just in front of the car. A tree had miraculously...
Roving for a new job 2007-08-13 09:30:19 Not the right way to say goodbye The big news this week: Karl Rove has given notice. I actually feel for the guy, because his reputation as probably the most conniving man in America is a hard sell in his... Read more:Roving
Old-tech banking 2007-08-20 09:51:55 Wells Fargo Archives After losing my ATM card this week, I had to make a journey so many of us rarely do these days. I actually went into the branch. Few American institutions have changed as little over time as... Read more:banking
When homophobes come out 2007-08-16 09:57:00 A less-perfect union? A Marine general. A high-profile political pundit. A professional basketball star. A well-known actor. These are people who "came out" in 2007. Not came out as some courageously do from safe hiding to found pride. But clumsily,...
Sudden food for thought 2007-08-22 11:42:54 This morning, I had a medical lab appointment in Montclair within walking distance of my local train station. Heading down Walnut Street after the appointment with time to kill before my train, I was in a mood to compensate myself... Read more:Sudden
, thought
Thoughts on the new school year... 2007-08-27 07:30:05 For whom the bell rings The night before the first day of school was always the longest night of my life. I'd lie wide awake for hours, wondering about my locker location, who my lunch table neighbors would be, what...
Parking in NJ: Whose right of way? 2007-08-31 10:29:09 Your lot in life My three hungry kids and I were roaming a full Montclair parking not long ago. Just as we turned a corner, we noticed an open spot about six cars away from us. Good timing. No other... Read more:Parking
Bush: Worst referrer ever! 2007-08-29 07:29:25 "See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."...
NJ's virtual communities 2007-09-18 09:49:00 Since the invention of the remote control, man has endeavored to do more and more without leaving the comfort of his chair, and the technology market always responds enthusiastically. Whereas Nike encourages us to "Just Do It", the Internet... Read more:virtual
Getting physical 2007-09-17 07:36:21 Shoezilla I've always been on the lookout for a snooze-diet, something that can shed the pounds as I do nothing but sleep peacefully and drool on pillows. That's a fantasy, but a few weeks ago, I found the next best... Read more:physical
Supreme abortion decision makes sense 2007-09-13 14:26:42 Wednesday's New Jersey Supreme
Court decision
saying doctors don't have to tell patients "abortion
kills a human being" makes
good-enough sense to me. Yes, you'll hear a lot of pundits saying this allows docs to avoid the obvious, but...
A new motto for New Jersey? 2007-09-10 08:20:36 Sealing the Deal They say absolute power corrupts absolutely. I'm not sure anyone in New Jersey
has absolute power -- save Bruce Springsteen on occasion -- but last week's roundup of nearly a dozen state officials on corruption charges illustrates...
Paint Misbehaving, Part Deux 2007-09-06 07:30:39 Who gives a hoot? Back in July, I blogged about a grafitti problem in Maplewood and Montclair, one that calls for action, though it's rarely taken. At the time I had to rely on a generic photo of grafitti. Today,... Read more:Paint
The new citizenship test 2007-09-04 07:26:14 Responding to charges it was out of touch with real life -- and utterly useless as a terrorism-fighting tool -- the Immigration and Naturalization Service has redesigned its citizenship
* exam to help new Americans assimilate more easily and to...
Fighting fat in NJ 2007-09-27 09:19:13 Leave no crumb behind Somebody's cupcake runneth over. This week, the Caldwell/West Caldwell school district banned food from class birthday parties, becoming the third New Jersey public school district to do so. Scotch Plains-Fanwood and Bridgewater-Raritan are the other districts... Read more:Fighting
New Jersey exhibit hall names: Be careful! 2007-09-26 07:30:35 Continental Airlines Arena is about to let the Air out of its tires. Knowing the eventual departure of the NJ Devils and the NJ Nets (to Brooklyn?!) also means the departure of more than a few fans, Continental is... Read more:Jersey
, New Jersey
Is the world flat or just our heads? 2007-09-24 09:13:21 How many of you think the Earth is flat? Really, raise your hand. Anyone...anyone... Bueller? You, back there, do you...oh, you were just stretching. Well, it may surprise you to know that there's one person who's just not sure. Yes,...
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