Owner: The Life of Ben, a Polymer Man URL:http://bencandance.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Tue, 17 Jul 2007 17:07:48 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Ben is a dancing, tuxedo wearing, hip clay dude made of polymer. He meets interesting women all the time, is athletic, multi-talented and a great catch for some lucky polymer girl. Follow the daily adventures of Ben and his fantastic Singles life. Site statistics:Click here
I went to Banshy's Goth club last night 2007-07-17 11:40:00 I had the day off yesterday and, after sleeping until noon, I was debating the pros and cons of getting out of bed when the phone rang and it was Banshy! She wanted to know if I wanted to come to her Club that night and 'check it out'. I made excuses as I don't really think I'm the 'Goth Club' type...but she was insistent. She told me to come over to her house at 6:00 and she would 'Goth me out' and fix me dinner. I finally agreed, and well....you can see from the photo what the result was. White makeup, temporary black hair dye, red eyeliner, these strange clip on things she put on my ears....oh and the studded collar was just the icing on the cake. As if all this didn't thrill me enough, the club might has well been called "Entrance to Hell". Instead it is cheerfully named the "Necrotizing Corpse". Uh...yeah. Drinks are served in goblets that have painted blood dripping down (yum yum), the music (and I use that term loosely) is what you would expect upon tying u
Met a Goth girl at Borders 2007-07-16 05:23:00 Wow, what a long night it's been! I stopped at Borders
after work tonight to see if my special order of that French Rap music was in. It wasn't, so I decided to relax for a while and read some magazines. This totally wild looking Goth girl started talking to me and she turned out to be so cool! Her name is Banshy. We talked for 3 hours about....well, everything. My job, her job (she's a bartender at some club), music, books, and life in Orange County. I bought her a cup of coffee while we were at Borders and as they were getting ready to kick us out to close, she asked if I wanted to go to Denny's for grilled cheese sandwiches so we could finish our discussion. I did. We did! Fast forward 2 hours and I'm in her apartment meeting her 2 cats! This place was freaky. Bright red walls, lots of masks and crosses on the walls and candles everywhere. I'm not sure if she actually has electricity. Anyway, I only went to her apartment because she wanted to show me this paintin
Friday the 13th is a very BAD day 2007-07-14 01:20:00 When I got home from work tonight, the above letter was waiting to great me. No goat! No little bed! No fuzzy thing to love me! Friday
the 13th sucks.
Long Day 2007-07-13 01:51:00 Gloria called in sick today so I took over her 2 classes, in addition to my own three and I am beat! I had a Lindy Hop class, a Tango class and advanced Hip Hop. Gloria had an Irish folk dance and a "Dance for the Postpartum Mom" which was quite interesting. We had a whole wall of tiny infant seats and the babies hung in little carriers on their Mom's as we marched and cha cha'd our way to "flatter tummies". I got 4 Arby's sandwiches on the way home and popped a cold one as soon as I walked in the door. I decided tonight was a great night to try out the personal 'Bath Spa' that my ex-girlfriend gave me last Christmas. You simply lay this mat down on the tub bottom, which has a hose connected to the motor, and plug in. Instant massaging, bubbles and relaxation. I also put on the CD of 'Sounds of the Rain Forest' that was one of the promos at last summer's Dance convention. I must admit, Spa + Alcohol + sound of soft rain = total relaxation!
Blind date at Holiday Roller Rink 2007-07-11 21:42:00 Tonight I had a blind date with a girl name Sharon. She works with Chaz at UPS and he thinks she's really funny. She thinks she is really funny too (uh, she's not). Anyway, we talked on the phone a bit last night and she said she loves to do "fun" things and why didn't we go roller skating? Her exact words were in the form of a screech that went "Oh My God, I'm just a big kid with a 2 minute attention span!! TeeeeeeHeeeeeeee" Anyway, we met at HolidayRoller
Rink in Orange. She was nice looking in tight jeans and pony tails.....but, her voice and her laugh --I can't handle it. Sooooooooo annoying. I did have fun roller skating though. I haven't done that since high school! When Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls" came on I went wild and kind of left Sharon in the dust. When we went out to the parking lot to go home she grabbed me and gave me a very sloppy kiss. I was polite but told her I had an early dance class in the morning. She's just not my type. Oh, bt Read more:Blind
I'm adopting a baby goat! 2007-07-10 23:04:00 At this morning's ballroom dance class, Rob Shnickly was telling me that a goat on his farm had recently died giving birth to her baby. Rob has been inviting me out to the farm forever and since I had no more classes today, I decided to follow him on out. It took us about 30 minutes to get there from the studio but what a great farm he has! He took me to the barn to see the newborn baby goat and she looked immediately at me and "baaa"ed and came right up to the fence. Rob lifted her out and we took her out to the grass and he let me feed her with a bottle! What a sweetie. I'm in love! She licked me and nuzzled me. I think she likes me too. Rob said if I can get permission to have a goat in my backyard...she's all mine. I'm so excited! I've been wanting to get a dog for a while now but I think this will be better. I'm still trying to decide on a name for her. So far, I've come up with Topples, Gertrude, Shnookie, or Ramba. So many things I must go buy! She w
Century 21 Realtors Get Down 2007-07-09 12:20:00 Today was the Century
21 realtor dance class. It's probably my favorite class of the whole week. These people love to dance! I think they all want to be able to do fancy dance moves as they show houses. You know break-dance down the hallway as they say "and here's the master suite". Ha! One guy told me he's been creating his own dance at home and asked if I wanted to see it. I put on Eminem and this guy busted into the funniest robot/mime dance I've ever seen. I wanted to burst out laughing but I had a feeling this guy was taking it very seriously. We're planning a dance recital near Christmas. They're all going to wear their golden blazers and we're choreographing a dance to "Our House" by Madness. One step beyond! Read more:Realtors
Passed a bake sale in the park this morning 2007-07-07 12:57:00 It was a gorgeous morning so I parked on the other side of the park today and decided to cut through to get to the dance studio. There seemed to be a lot more cars than usual on the street behind the park and I was wondering why. As I got to the middle of the park, near the big grassy field, there was a huge sign that said "Charity Bake Sale" with tables set up all over the park and sponsored by different Orange County bakeries. There were eclairs, puff pastries, danishes, cakes, petit fores, chocolate, fudge, breads, donuts and all kinds of cakes and pies. I was in heaven!! I circled the tables and was drooling like a dog in front of a steak. Finally, I saw these humongous donuts from a place called Cabrillo Bakery in San Clemente and I bought a dozen to take to the studio. Gloria was working this morning and when she saw me come in with the box of donuts.....she was fuming! She actually called me something I can't repeat here and told me to stick the donuts where the sun
Worked on my tan and wrote a song! 2007-07-05 20:25:00 Well, yesterday was the 4th but I had to work. The Laguna Hills Senior Center was hosting their own "Senior Moments" parade and I was in charge of leading them all in the "Stepslide Shuffle". They all had dyed their hair blue for the day and wore handmade red & white overalls. It was really very cute! So, today, my day off...I thought "what do I really want to do?" and the answer was "nothing". So guess what? That's what I did. Nothing. For 8 hours. I tied that new hammock to the back trees, grabbed a book, my guitar, and set about relaxing. Times like today I am so happy I bought that starter house with the yard. I could have gone for the fancy condo in the swinging singles complex but today tells me I made the right decision. I do wish that beady eyed woman from next door would quit peering over the fence at me. She's giving me the creeps! Didn't beehive hairstyles go out in the 60's ? Just wondering. Anyhow, it was so relaxing that I wrote
a beautiful song o
Gloria and I at the Irvine Barclay! 2007-07-03 21:31:00 Tonight was "A Look Back at Dance" production and Gloria
Fartutti and I had one number together. It was great. Gloria was on the mark (for once!) and since she's been dieting I was able to twirl her much better than the performance in the Spring. Thank God for Jenny Craig and my new back support belt! We did our own choreographed dance with a lot of swing influences. My favorite part is always near the end when Gloria does her final twirl, rips her skirt off and bends over showing the audience her butt. Embroidered on her panties is "applause". People laugh so hard...I just love it. Oh, and guess what? The Orange County Register was there tonight and came up afterwards to interview me! Sweeeeeeeeeeet. Gloria wanted to know if I wanted to go out for a drink tonight but I declined. She talks way too much about her ex-boyfriend (he's Sam Parsnickens, an L.A. Dodger) and wears way too much perfume. I cough and wheeze every time she gets near me! I don't want to purc Read more:Irvine
Not all babies are cute! 2007-07-02 16:35:00 My friend Dan called today to ask me for a 'special favor'. It seems he and his hot wife, Veronica haven't been intimate since they conceived their baby. He wanted to take her for a romantic lunch and to a hotel room for a few hours and he knew I didn't work until tonight. What could I say but 'sure'. Now, I've gotten together with Dan a few times in the last couple of months since Gottam was born but I've never actually seen Gottam. He was always with Veronica or asleep. I will be honest here and say that Dan is not a good looking guy. He kind of resembles Mick Jagger with the flu. But, as I've said Veronica is HAWT so I figured this kid would probably be pretty damn cute. Was I wrong! This baby is butt-ugly. Will I go to hell for saying that? This kid could swallow my cat in that gigantic mouth of his. And hair? He has two tufts right on the top. That's it. Dude, go to the Hair Club for Men before it's too late! He screamed and he screamed a
A blue-funk day 2007-07-01 03:21:00 I was in a blue-funk today. I couldn't seem to shake it. I never got out of my pajamas and I watched TV all day. TVLand was playing a marathon of Brady Bunch and I couldn't be bothered to find the lost remote or to get up and change the channel.....so that's where it stayed. I watched 22 episodes of the Brady Bunch. I never realized how cute Marcia was! I drank some beer and ate frozen waffles. I couldn't be bothered to cook them. I called her 15 times but got the same recording. I don't feel like dancing today.
I got stood up tonight. My heart is broken....... 2007-06-29 22:23:00 I called her today on my lunch break and we talked for about 20 minutes. She was so sweet, so funny, so charming. I got up the nerve to ask her out and was so thrilled when she replied "sure". We decide to meet at the Coffee Bean Plantation on the corner of Brookhurst and Trabuco about 7:00. I was so excited! I got off work early, showered, used my Drakkar Noir aftershave and put on a clean suit. I even brought along my chapstick so I could give her a fantastic good night kiss. I stopped by the El Toro florist and bought her a beautiful Summer Lilly and a small box of chocolates. I ordered a caffe Americano and waited. And waited. And waited. She never showed. I tried to call her number to make sure she was alright and a recording came on that said "This number is no longer in service". Now I write with tears in my eyes........ wondering, will I ever find true love?
An Exotic Dancer likes me!! 2007-06-28 20:48:00 Tonight I met up with some of the guys at the Pussycat Sandbox in Newport. Meeeeeeeeooooooooww! One of the most beautiful exotic dancers, Tantabella, pulled me up to watch her on stage. OMG, she was hot! She did a pole dance to "Let's Get Physical" and when I tried to give her a $10 tip at the end she whispered "You're not going anywhere" and pushed me back down with her high heeled shoe! I was in heaven. She grabbed my hand and wrote her number right on my palm and then gave me a kiss before exiting the stage. Some more dancers came out too.....Peaches, Rinasty, and Creamella....but none compare to my girl. So beautiful. So graceful. So shiny. My dream girl. *Sigh* Wow. What a night. I'm still in shock. Should I call her?! She could be the future Mrs. Bencandance and mother of my children! Read more:Dancer
Played soccer against Cheescake Factory tonight! 2007-06-27 00:15:00 Tonight we played the Cheescake Factory
Team in Mission Viejo and won! 4-1. It was a great game and guess who was there? Tabitha, that cute girl from Barnes & Noble! She kept smiling at me. I was getting ready to go ask for her number when the game was over but out of nowhere came some dude who put his arm around her. I have no idea who he is. He was big, dark, definitely a weight lifter. I felt a vibe coming from her all night, though. I may have to cruise on over to Barnes & Noble this week and get the latest copy of 'Dance Moves USA'. Oh, btw..... Franz was there again this morning! I left the little creep a carrot and he ignored it and ate more daisies. I'm going to see about a rabbit trap this week too. Read more:Played
, against
Evil bunny stalks me! 2007-06-25 21:34:00 This morning I was up early drinking my coffee and reading the paper and I kept hearing strange noises coming from the back door. Kind of a scratching sound. I thought it might be the neighbor's cat again so I went to the back door to check. Sitting right there a foot away from the flower bed was the most viscious and evil looking rabbit I have ever seen! He was chomping on a daisy and he glared up at me as if I was disturbing him. The nerve! I stomped my foot but he just grabbed another daisy. Well, then I knew people were not going to believe the tale of this bold rabbit sitting on my property so I ran in and grabbed the camera. I managed to get the shot you see here before he finally gave me one last glare and slowly hopped away. I will check back tomorrow morning to see if he returns. I think I will name him 'Franz'.
Peruvian food! 2007-06-24 14:08:00 OK, last night I went to see a friend in LA. We were starving and decided to walk around his neighborhood in search of food. He lives in a great area full of a plethora of ethnic eateries. Persian, Indian, Thai. Then we stumbled upon a place called Nonnies. It said "Peruvian Food" on the sign. I'd never had Peruvian before, in fact it took me a minute to think of where Peru was (uh, remember Paddington Bear?). The menu was a strange mix of odd choices and translations. "Beef on Spaghetti" "Rice, french fries and fish" "Cooked onion in sauce". I was kind of scared of the choices but finally dived in with my selection of "Cooked chicken and rice". It was not bad. Not my favorite choice of ethnic places to eat, mind you, but not bad.
Effexor Evil or good? 2007-06-23 02:05:00 Today I had an appointment with Dr. Vanoski about these panic attacks I get every time I see a doll. Be it in a toy store or a little girl walking by me with one in her arms.....I completely freak out! Sweaty palms, rapid heart beat, I feel dizzy and I can't catch my breath. It all stems from the Chuckee movies and a bottle of Vodka in my past I think (another story for another day). Something about their tiny little beady eyes just freaks me out. Anyway....... Dr. V suggested I go on Effexor for a few months to "calm down" my nervous system and stop these panic attacks. I got the prescription filled today and took the first one and I feel very odd. Sleepy, spacey, and my brain kind of feels like clay. So do I live with my fear of beady eyed dolls or give this a try?
Skateboarding at the Dunes! 2007-06-21 00:28:00 Whoooo-hooooo! Tonight I was just watching an old rerun of CSI when Bran called and wanted to know if I wanted to catch some air over at the Dunes
. You don't have to twist my arm. Put some cold ones in the cooler, grabbed my board and went to get Bran. It was awesome! Nice cool night with the ocean mist just rolling in and some moonlight to skate with too. I did a fakie down the stairs and an awesome kickflip. Bran did some grinding on the rails. After we had been there for a while, these 2 gorgeous girls came over to ask us if we had a smoke. Too bad for us that we didn't or we might have just had company for the night! The girls went on in search of smokes and we were gettin' pretty beat from skating for 4 hours. On the way home we stopped at Taco Bell and I ordered 5 Taco Supremes, 2 bean burritos and a quesadillo. Just a snack! I'll dance it all off tomorrow anyway.
It was Spa day in Laguna Beach! 2007-06-19 23:46:00 Today Mrs. Pooches (yes, My boss!) told me she had a surpise for me but she wouldn't tell me what it was. Not even a clue! She clutched my hand in her wrinkled claw and told me to ride with her in the Lexus. It was such a mystery. We drove into LagunaBeach
and she pulled up to a Valet at a building with a sign "Fera Zo Spa". I thought maybe we were going to do a dance lesson there, you know...in the back room or something. When we got inside she told them my name and they said "Welcome to a day of Man-pampering Mr. Ben". Well, blow me away! I'd never been to a spa before. I always thought it a bit on the feminine side but my mind has been changed. First I was given a towel and lead into a huge shiny steam room with a hot tub in the center and a rippling fountain of spring water at the side. They told me to relax in there as long as I wanted.....I think I may have fallen asleep! Next, I was treated to a facial, manicure, pedicure and they saved the best for la Read more:Laguna Beach
A Beautiful sunny southern CA day! 2007-06-18 14:27:00 After grabbing my Grande extra-shot Latte this morning, I jumped in the convertable, realized it was too beautiful of a day to be giving dance lessons and decided to play hookey. I bribed Slink to fill in for me, then cruised over to Newport to check out the bikini babes. So many smokin' hot girls! Whooo-hoooo. I worked on my tan, tried out some new dance moves on the sand and was surprised to come home with an empty coffee cup full of tips. It's a steak and champagne kind of night I think! I decided to take the scenic route home and enjoy the gorgeous sunset. Life in sunny CA is good! Although, the thought of moving to Oregon or Washington state sounds pretty cool too. I will build myself a giant house in the trees and wear plaid shirts and hiking boots. Lumberjack Ben I shall become. Read more:Beautiful
Too Much Poop! 2007-07-19 02:51:00 I caught him this morning! For the past month there has been a trail of poop right through my front yard. I've actually stepped in it a couple of times on my way to work and had to come in and change my Chucks. I knew it was Fandango, the dog from next door because Mrs. Binolt lets him run around the neighborhood as he pleases. I've talked to her about the poop 3 or 4 times and she always says "Nope, not my poop - Not my problem". But this morning I caught him right as he delivered a steaming gift to my front yard. I grabbed him by the collar, marched him back to his front door and demanded that Mrs. Binolt clean it up. She said "You can't prove that poop belongs to him. Leave me alone, you're making me miss Regis!" I was really angry by this time. I thought about calling animal control but the truth is, Fandango is a nice dog. It's his owner that needs some manners. I came inside, found an empty cookie tin and wore a plastic bag as a glove. I filled up the tin with
Private Lesson day 2007-07-18 03:00:00 Today was private lessons with Kitty, a very bored and wealthy Orange County housewife. She pays me extra to go to her place (a house that directly faces the ocean at Newport Beach). She has a great setup; nanny, housekeeper, personal trainer and a room that she uses for exercise and dance. We have been working on the classic dances for the past few months (Tango, Foxtrot, etc.) 'cause she's going to a Sorority sister's wedding next month and wants to show her up. Oh man, she loves to flirt! She holds me tightly during every dance and loves to whisper in a very sexy voice. If it wasn't for the fact that her nanny is in the next room and her husband is the CEO of some big semiconductor company...... I'd be tempted. I don't think she'd follow through anyway. Like I said, she's just bored. I love giving her lessons though. The ocean breeze, the fresh lemonade she has the housekeeper make for me, the great sound system in her exercise room, oh...yeah, and the hundred Read more:Private
I saw my High School crush at Target 2007-07-22 02:04:00 I had to go to Target
today for some weed killer and underwear and when I went through checkout, the woman ringing me up said "Ben, is that YOU?". I didn't recognize her and she had to tell me her name, Tiffany Thornbrow. I was speechless. This was a girl I was in love with for 4 years of high school! She was my lab partner in Biology and she was beautiful and outgoing. A cheerleader, nominated for Prom Queen, sang a solo for the Christmas talent show that blew everyone away, and she smelled so good! I just knew she was destined for greatness. Fast forward 12 years, and she has put on about 150 pounds and is working at Target. Also, I couldn't tell, but she told me she is expecting her FIFTH child in two months. Wow. Just Wow. Somehow, I feel vindicated. All those years of high school when I didn't think she even knew my name and would barely give me the time of day and now she's ringing up my underwear. Ha! I dug out my Senior year book today and found what she had Read more:School
, crush
, High School
Line Dancing at the 'Branded Cow Patty' 2007-07-21 13:36:00 Yesterday the "Branded
Cow Patty
" club, in Anaheim, called to see if I'd be a fill-in dancer for a guy who called in sick. They keep about 4 dancers on staff to help pump up the crowd, lead the line dances and dance with single women and men. I really just wanted to relax and watch a DVD but money is money and we all need it! So I pulled out my boots and hat and went to work. There were some cute girls there tonight (all decked out in Western sexiness) and I ended up with about 5 phone numbers. But, I think they were under the impression that I was a 'true' cowboy. How would they feel to learn that I HATE these uncomfortable pointed boots and can't stand Country music?! "Oh my doggie died and my woman left me and I'm just breathin' in coal dust". I probably won't call them. But good news, I made $255 tonight and that will pay for the personal-ad, should I decide to do it! Read more:Dancing
Personal Ad dating? 2007-07-20 00:25:00 Today, one of the teens in my Hip Hop class gave me this magazine "Date Connector"....as a joke. She said "This will help you find a girlfriend". Yeah, ha ha. Very funny. I was about to throw it in the trash as I left to go to lunch but then noticed it had a $9.99 price tag on it. WTF?! I figured at that price it might have some free meal coupons inside or a map to Britney Spears house or something . So I looked it over as I ate my Subway sandwich. The articles were OK, but what really caught my attention was the personal ads that make up over 50% of this magazine. Really great ones! From single men (as would be expected), but surprisingly, from lots of single women too! Professionals. Intelligent. Romantic. Looking for that 'special someone'. Some even said "love hot sex", "no commitments, I just want to have fun" and "my boobs are REAL"! I want to meet some of these women. Yes I do. But here's the catch: in order to contact any of these women I need to Read more:Personal
My sister, Betty is in O.C. this week 2007-07-24 02:29:00 My little sisterBetty
, otherwise known as bassist "Boo" for the 'Flush Pilots' is staying with me this week. The Flush Pilots usually stay up North, in the San Francisco area, but this week they landed a gig at the House of Blues in Anaheim so she and the band are crashing at my house. Lucky me. MonkeyBoy (yes, he legally changed his name to this 5 years ago) is her on-again/off-again boyfriend and also the lead singer. He smokes anything and everything he can get his hands on and even traveled with his own keg that he plopped down on my kitchen table. Last night, I had almost a full bucket of chicken from KFC in the fridge and a half of one of those ultra-chocolaty cakes from Costco. I couldn't wait to have a big slice for breakfast this morning. I woke up.....and it was all gone! Everything. The chicken, the cake, a box of Ritz crackers, 3 cans of Cream of Mushroom soup, a bottle of Gatorade, a bag of frozen burritos, a bottle of ketchup, a box of Captain Crunch cere
Got a Wii 2007-07-27 02:02:00 On my way home from work this afternoon, I had to stop at Target to get some light bulbs and as I walked past the video section I saw a guy unloading a whole carton of Wii
systems. I've been thinking of getting one but never wanted to stand in those early morning lines to do it. This fell in my lap so I had to have it! I drank beer and played virtual tennis until midnight! It was so awesome! No sister. No Monkeyboy. Nobody eating my chicken or sitting on my toilet rubbing their germs around. Just me and my Wii and the rythmic thumping sound of my balls. Being single is great!
Just got back from the House of Blues 2007-07-26 02:19:00 The "Flush Pilots" (Betty's band) had their gig there tonight and so I decided to use the free ticket she gave me and go, even though I'm still really ticked off at her. A $30 ticket doesn't quite cover all the trouble she caused this week (or all the food she and Monkeyboy ate!) but I actually like her band. They're kind of a bluesy-punk style with a touch of funk and a dash of reggae. It was a great show but at one point I got caught in the middle of a crushing mosh-pit of thrashing and kicking. Luckily, I managed to escape alive and worked my way to the safety of the bar. A cute girl kept smiling at me but when she came over to talk, I couldn't hear a word she was saying. Charades and hand signals were futile and she eventually gave up and walked away. Bummer. Oh, a positive piece of news: Betty and Monkeyboy leave tomorrow morning!! Read more:House
, Blues
Betty got us all a 'Mickey Warning' 2007-07-25 02:03:00 I took the day off to go to Disneyland with Betty
and Monkeyboy. After fighting crowds, the heat and waiting in lines that took up to an hour each...we had managed to go on a sum total of 2 rides. We wanted to do Space Mountain before we went into Downtown Disney for dinner. We made it as far as sitting down in the seats of Space Mountain. Betty, trying to be sneaky, picked that moment to light up a cigarette. Security was on us faster than a dog on salami! We were escorted off the ride and out the ride-exit gate. Betty and Monkeyboy were laughing and I was fuming. I'm still fuming. We were given a 'Mickey
Warning' which stated that any other infractions or disturbances that we might be involved in that day would get us immediately expelled from the park with no refund. Our photos were taken at the security booth. I was supposed to perform at Disneyland with the "Vapor Dance Team" for their Christmas show. Now I'm on the 'Disney Caution' list, which translates to an a
Recommend Site To A Friend
