Owner: The Life of Ben, a Polymer Man URL:http://bencandance.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Tue, 17 Jul 2007 17:07:48 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Ben is a dancing, tuxedo wearing, hip clay dude made of polymer. He meets interesting women all the time, is athletic, multi-talented and a great catch for some lucky polymer girl. Follow the daily adventures of Ben and his fantastic Singles life. Site statistics:Click here
Bernadette and Norman's Wedding 2007-07-29 02:08:00 This afternoon I went to Bernadette and Norman
's wedding at Laguna Hills Senior Center. Bernadette is 75, Norman 78, and they met in my 'Dancing for Senior Fitness' class last year. I saw the sparks flying between them from the very first class and was a witness a few months later, as Norman clumsily asked Bernadette to accompany him to the Senior Cafeteria for meatloaf. Last month he excitedly showed me the ring he bought for her and popped the question! They wasted no time (seeing as they don't have a lot of time to waste!) and the wedding was today. The gals at the Senior Center tried as best as they could to make it look special with white balloons and streamers. They even tied white bows to all the wheel chairs and walkers! I thought the gift that all their friends made them was really sweet. A huge afghan with a hand knitted square done by each of their friends at the Center! I didn't really dance tonight as it wasn't a dancing type of wedding. They did tun
Well, I did it. The Ad has been sent. 2007-07-28 02:22:00 After talking out loud to myself several times today and then answering.... I realized I need a girlfriend. (Or a dog. But I'm going to try for a girlfriend first so I can bypass the house-training)I found that 'Date Connector' magazine from last week and pulled out the Ad Submission Form. I filled it out before I could change my mind and sent it off with a check. Too late to turn back now baby! They are giving me an email box and hopefully I will be getting some messages next week. I'm kind of bummed now though, because I forgot to put on the Ad "I don't like vegetables. Don't make me eat vegetables EVER". Do you think that will be a deal-breaker for a potential love interest? I'll probably get Miss Broccoli Queen of the South that writes me. Or some Nutty Wholegrain chick who boycotts KFC. Would be just my luck...
The Most Revolting Woman 2007-08-01 07:24:00 Last night my class, Urban Salsa, finished at 8:00. This one woman, Yasmine, who always laughs at my jokes a little too loudly and has way too much energy, was one of the last ones to leave the dance room. She heard me shout out to Jack, one of the other instructors, "Time for some dinner!" and she said "I'm going to eat too, want some company?". I hate being put on the spot like that and didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I said "Sure". I suggested we go across the street to Home Buffet, one of those serve-yourself food buffets ('cause it's not fancy or expensive and I knew we'd be done quickly!). As she picked her salad ingredients she said 'hello' to everything she put on her plate. "Hello, Mr. Beet. Yum!" "Hello, little beans" "Hello orange carrots". I found it very strange. As we started to eat, I decided to keep the conversation on her so she wouldn't ask too much about my personal life. I asked her where she worked, and with a huge mouthful of
I look like Gilligan 2007-07-30 02:46:00 I was on my way to meet Bran today for a game of golf at Forever Green when he called to say he'd rescheduled our tee off time for an hour later. After already driving 20 minutes, I had to think of something to do and realized I needed a haircut. I usually go to Melissa over at "Hip & Stylin" but I decided to just stop at Fantastic Sam's. Big mistake. They asked me if there was any particular stylist I "preferred" and when I shook my head they called over to "Lupita" who was sitting in the back watching a spanish talk show. Lupita was about 55, walked slowly and seemed like she hadn't had a lot of coffee this morning. I told her I wanted something 'sexy' and stylish, she nodded.....and well, you can see what I ended up with. I look just like Gilligan
from the Island. Sigh. I can see why Little Buddy never got lucky. I may just have to wear hats for a few weeks (but no little white ones and no more red shirts!!)
I have a stalker 2007-08-03 02:47:00 I was in the middle of a Hip Hop class full of teens today when one of the girls motioned toward the window. Standing outside with her nose and lips pressed against the window was Yasmine. I kid you not. It was the freakiest thing I've ever seen. When she saw me look over at her she waved frantically and kissed at the window. The teens were laughing but I was getting scared. Ever seen 'Fatal Attraction'? (I don't have a bunny but I do plan to get a dog at some point!) I excused myself and went outside to have the 'talk' with her. She nodded and said she understood BUT...... she is clearly unstable. I am going to be very very careful from here on out.
Oh no, she brought me cookies! 2007-08-02 02:02:00 I went into the break room today and Gloria was smiling at me like a cat that ate the canary. "Your girlfriend brought you something!" she snickered and pointed to the table. There was a huge plate of M&M cookies and a note. From Yasmine. Oh, God....now what do I do?! She says she's looking forward to our next 'date'! Bad, bad, no. I have been stressed all day. Why did I agree to have dinner with her?! (The cookies were good though.... I ate them all on the drive home.) A nice before dinner snack. When I got in there were 5 messages on my answering machine...ALL from Yasmine. I panicked at first, wondering how she got my number, but then I remembered that I put it on my business cards for 'private dance lesson' purposes. The first message said she had fun last night at dinner. The second message told me she hoped I enjoyed the cookies. The third message asked if I liked cats. The fourth message told me she couldn't wait for the next dance class. And th
The Kitten and the Migraine 2007-08-06 03:13:00 I was on the way to my Jitterbug class this evening when I started to feel a headache come on. I didn't think too much about it, but by the time I walked into the dance studio I had started to see flashing lights out of the corner of my eye and started to feel very nauseous. Yep, a migraine. I get one about every 4 months or so. Anyway, Mrs. Pooches (the owner and boss) happened to be there today and told me to go lay down on the couch in her office. She gave me a nice comfy quilt for the chills that were starting to come on and even put a cold cloth on my head. She shut the blinds and the door to her office and left me to rest for an hour. I was awoken by something kneading my head ever so gently. I thought at first it was Gloria and mumbled 'thanks' but then I started to feel warm breath on my cheek and became alarmed. I opened my eyes and there was something furry about an inch from my face! A beautiful long haired kitten licked my cheek with it's little sandpaper t Read more:Kitten
, Migraine
TGIF barbeque 2007-08-04 02:30:00 I only had one early morning class scheduled yesterday so I invited Bran, Marna (the girl he's seeing right now), Dan and Veronica (who managed to get a sitter for ugly-baby) and Slink, from work (who is really a funny guy) all over for a barbeque. We had thick steaks, baked potatoes and Veronica brought a huge pan of homemade cornbread. It was great! We drank some beer and wine and after dinner I grabbed my guitar and we sat around my fire pit singing songs and making smores. Friends and good food, that's all you need! (and money) (and alcohol) (a nice dog) (maybe sex?)
Date with a California Raisin 2007-08-08 09:58:00 Uh-huh. Yeah. I called her. Shelley. The 'hot' manager of the tanning salon. We arranged to meet last night in front of BJ's. She said I wouldn't miss her because she'd have on a bright orange dress. I didn't miss her. OMG. She is a 22 year old with the skin of leather. She already has wrinkles starting around her eyes, lips and neck. The closer I got, the scarier she looked. She was standing there seemingly annoyed when I walked up to introduce myself. She said "I've been standing here for 5 minutes" (and I was 10 minutes early for our date). The rest of the date went quickly down hill from there. She had no sense of humor AT ALL. Every joke I 'tried' to make she would respond with "what do you mean by that?" Sigh. Between my attempts at humor, she talked about herself. What she wanted in life. Nice house. Tennis coach. BMW. Pool. Diamonds. And how she wasn't self-absorbed but 'self aware' and knew she deserved these things. Uh-huh. When it wa Read more:California
, Raisin
The First Response to my Personal Ad! 2007-08-07 02:01:00 I got my first email today from someone who saw my personal ad! Her name is Shelley. I'm not sure about her though. She sounds a little, um....shallow? I don't know though, she could be hot. Hmmmmmmmmmm, I'm trying to decide if I should call her or not. A date would be nice. 5'8 and blond! She obviously liked the sound of my ad, because she wrote to me. Should I go for flash or wait for substance? Read more:First
, Response
, Personal
I've never considered being a Chubby-chaser 2007-08-11 13:13:00 At first I dismissed it but then I started to feel bad. I'm being prejudiced. Maybe she's really sweet. Maybe she *is* a really good cook. Maybe she's really funny. But on the other hand...what if she's "circus large"? What if people laugh at me for being with her? What if I have to get in a fight to defend her honor?The only part that really bothers me, is that she can't dance with me.Hmmmmm.....so much to think about and I don't want to have another 'raisin date' .
Kid from Hell at the grocery store 2007-08-09 13:25:00 I woke up this morning with a craving for eggs and bacon. One small problem, I had no eggs...no bacon. So, I went to the grocery store. I was in the checkout line behind two other people when out of nowhere this little boy appeared behind the candy rack and threw a candy bar at me! "Hey, don't do that" I said loudly enough for his mother to hear. No mother in sight. He laughed and ran around me. Then he grabbed a bunch of candy bars and put them in my basket! "Stop it! Where's your Mother?" I said to him. The woman in front of me turned around and said "A father should be able to control his own child". "He's not mine!" I said and she glared at me. Then this little demon monster started to climb a big display sign in front of me. The cashier said "Sir, you're going to have to control your son". "He's not mine!" I shouted and now four angry women glared at me. The boy giggled and ran down an aisle. I searched for a glimpse of his mother so I could yell at her but sh
Meditation clears the mind 2007-08-15 04:11:00 Early this morning I went to my first class in beginning M.E.N. (Meditation
Enhanced by Nature). We met at Laguna Park on Ocean Way. We sat in a circle and held hands as we hummed together to get our "auras aligned with the universe". The instructor, Judas, smelled a bit like weed and kept smiling at everyone. During the Oceanic-Phase we were instructed to picture ourselves sitting at the bottom of the ocean with no sights or sounds around us. I kept picturing shark. "You are breathing in, you are breathing out" Judas chanted and then he walked around and rubbed each of our shoulders. Talk about invading my personal-bubble! Not helping me relax, Dude! I finally felt at peace during the Flying-phase where we were to imagine being a bird soaring over the hills. Judas played a cassette tape of the sounds of wind. I actually felt removed from my body for a short time. When the class was over Judas hugged each one of us and said "May the soul of the Eagle be with
Someone wants to be my wife! 2007-08-14 12:39:00 Wow. I opened my love-connection email this morning to find this! I am freaked out and terrified. She talks of marriage right off the bat. My warning lights are flashing! She wants
to bear my last name? She wants me to say 'I do'?? Oh.....wow.I mean I'd love to get married, someday, but not tomorrow! I think Polly here has the wedding dress hanging by her bed. OMG, she's probably printing out our wedding invitations as we speak!But, I did notice that she can dance and the word "flexible" really jumped out at me? Should I take a chance on a date with a Psycho-bride want to be??? Am I reading her wrong? Maybe I should call up Kristti and get some nice "buddy" advice on dating. I wonder if she'd be offended.....
Horse Racing at Los Alamitos with Kristti 2007-08-13 03:07:00 Well, I thought about it last night and decided to give Kristti a call. She was really nice on the phone and funny too! Turns out that she goes to the horse races in Los Alamitos every Sunday and asked if I wanted to go. I've never been to a horse race, so I said 'Sure'. We decided to meet in the parking lot next to the A1 sign. Well, she is a big girl. Not quite circus large.....but big. But she was a lot of fun to hang out with and had a great sense of humor. Oh, and she can eat! She wasn't even shy about eating in front of me, which I found surprising. She ate 2 hotdogs, an ice-cream cone, a cotton candy and 3 sodas (and she had a stash of candy in her purse). Someone who can keep up with me when it comes to eating! The bottom line is, I had a good time. I'm not sure I could ever feel romantic towards her but I wouldn't mind hanging out with her again. She's fun. Like one of the guys. Smart too. Oh, and when we said goodbye she gave me a great big bear h Read more:Horse
, Racing
, Horse Racing
Uh, I met Polly 2007-08-17 10:57:00 Despite my better judgment and some advice I got here, I...uh 'met' Polly
. Well, I couldn't help it! She tempted me with free tickets to a dance performance she was in and I just can't turn down dance. She sent me another email yesterday inviting me to her show and told me there would be tickets waiting at will-call if I decided to show up. I did. It was at the Newport Playhouse and the performance was called "I Believe". Well, turns out "I Believe" translates loosely to "This sucks". The whole performance was a musical production of a teenage cheerleader (Polly) deciding to ahem...become a woman. There was even a song featuring a certain female part that came on stage and danced as it sang of longing. Polly's idea of "dance" is not quite mine. This whole production was kind of performance-art style dance where there was a lot of sitting on the floor and waving her arms around as if she were a tree. Oh, and did I mention Polly is about 4 1/2 feet tall, has no breas
I Could Be Handcuffed! 2007-08-20 02:23:00 This letter frightens me. A sheriff? Yikes. I could be handcuffed just for pleasure. Hmmmmmm....on second thought, I guess that could be fun under the right circumstance! A gun wearing girlfriend? I'm really not sure how I feel about that. No cooking? Major bummer. No slow-dancing? Those are some of my best moves!Plus side is, I do have a couple of unpaid parking tickets she may be able to help with. I plan to give this some serious thought at work today. I will never meet Miss Right if I don't overturn a few rocks. Or..... something like that! (Lift a few lillypads? Gut a few fish? Beat a few eggs? Kiss a few warts?)
Drink with Bo, the OC Sheriff 2007-08-27 02:04:00 Reasons I will not be going out with Bo the Sheriff
again:1. The Mullet2. The beginnings of a mustache3. The chin whiskers4. The loud belch after drinking beer5. The uni-brow6. The lack of any sign of breasts7. The firm hand-shake8. The deep voice9. The tattoo that said "I like mustache rides"10. The fact that she walked like a dude11. The fact that I could find no visible evidence that she was a woman12. The way she asked if I wanted to "poke the whiskers" later (I had visions about what it might mean and was starting to feel physically ill, so I had to excuse myself with a story of a hungry dog at home and left as quickly as I could!) Read more:Drink
New letter from a Jewelry maker! 2007-08-26 13:55:00 This one sounds totally intriguing! Someone who races turtles? I've never been to a turtle race. She sounds great! Although my thoughts are still on Gwen, this one may just be worth a date.Wait.... don't turtles carry Salmonella?!!Oh, I did end up calling the sheriff and we have arranged to meet tonight for a drink. I really don't think she's my type but I would just hate to overlook anyone who could end up being "the one". You just can't tell much from one letter, can you?Some of these women sound so great on paper but turn out to be such utter and complete FLAKES! On the other hand, I may dismiss one that doesn't sound like my type and she could be "it". I must give everyone a chance.This is an equal-opportunity dating quest. Read more:Jewelry
, maker
Dancers Convention in Seattle 2007-08-25 20:43:00 Well, I haven't been able to post in several days because I've been in Seattle
at a Dance Convention
. I took my laptop but for some reason I kept getting error messages when trying to log-on from the hotel. Anyways, it has been a great 4 days. We saw every kind of dance demonstration imaginable (including a new dance called the Hip Hop Hoe-Down) and we got all kinds of promo items! I got a new pair of Nanskip Dance shoes, a leopard leotard (which I am not going to keep), 4 Dance CDs, a Convention t-shirt, a case of 'energy' bars, 12 bottles of Redbull, and a watch with a little hip-hop dancer who's legs are the hands! We had a dance each night of the convention and some great food. I met a girl too! Her name is Gwen and she lives in Canada. We had some really great talks and I can't stop thinking about her. One small problem.....she's engaged to some Canadian lumberjack. She teaches dance to little kids there. She is beautiful, smart, polite, sexy, funny....and Read more:Dancers
Jewelie and the turtle pie 2007-08-30 04:30:00 I have been getting so tired of all these bad dates and wasted evenings that I decided just to drop by Jewelie's jewelry shop yesterday to at least meet her and say "hi". She was wearing a turtle
shirt and the turtles were so prominently placed that it made it hard to look away from them. She had her famous dessert there (called Ponky) and she offered me a piece. It's hard to describe. It's kind of like thick oat flavored taffy with a marshmallow drizzle on top. Very interesting. She says she feeds this to all her customers..... I wonder how much business she does?Anyway, her jewelery is interesting. She makes most of it from broken bits of shells and glass and winds it together with wild bird feathers and beach grass. Definitely unique.She spent the whole half hour I was in her store telling me all about her turtles. She even had a little photo album of the turtles behind the counter that she pulled out to show me. I'm starting to wonder if Ponky is made from turtle
Jewelie writes me back! 2007-08-28 11:42:00 Well, yesterday I sent a little email back to Jewelie and she sent me this reply this morning. She certainly does seem full of energy and excitement.What is this dessert though? And...do you think she sleeps with the turtles? And no dogs? I really really want a dog.Deep breath. Am I up to another date this week? Part of me is intrigued with every letter I get and part of me wants to stay home in my underwear and watch CSI reruns.Maybe Jewelie could come over in her underwear and we could watch CSI together! Wait, is Salmonella transferable from human skin to human skin?I must look into turtle-salmonella before making a date. I had turtle soup once at an Asian restaurant and it was really good! I think they still have it on the menu. Maybe I'll suggest meeting there for dinner (evil laugh).
Ami the San Franciscan Baby-hater 2007-09-01 15:15:00 Well, I was excited to get this letter today until I read what she thinks of babies. I mean...true, some babies are ugly and some children are annoying (like grocery store brat from a couple of weeks ago) but I kind of want to have one some day. This woman sounds great except for that one tiny little detail. That and this 'experimental lifestyle' she mentioned. I wonder what that entails, exactly? Curious images come to mind.More decisions to consider. Would I be happy with a few dogs someday and should I just forget wanting a child? Do I even a waste a date night on this one?Maybe I should take a dating break. I think I'm addicted to dating. I'm so afraid I'll pass over "the one".
My date with Betty 2007-09-27 02:00:00 Tonight was THE night. I met Betty
in person and she was every bit as wonderful as I hoped she'd be! She is beautiful, sexy, well-read and so witty. We laughed like we'd known each other for years. My head is still spinning from such an absolutely PERFECT date.We had arranged to meet at the Red Dragon in Newport Beach. She was standing by some bamboo trees as I walked into the bar area and our eyes locked. I just knew it was her before she even said a word. I wore my new black pants and jacket and she was wearing a black dress. We ate dinner, drank wine and lingered at the table for 4 hours. I could have stared into her eyes forever. We talked about going for a moonlit walk on the beach but she decided she "better not" as she had to be up early to unlock the library for the janitor. I would have stayed awake all night to be with her! I kind of want to call her now and it's only been an hour. "Sigh..." Did we kiss goodnight? Oh...yes. The sweetest kiss I could e
Shopping trip to South Coast Plaza 2007-09-25 14:21:00 ..........I talked to Betty again yesterday (she was in her car, driving home from Fresno). We talked for an hour and had a great talk about everything from religion to dog-training. When I hung up I was so pumped-up from talking to her and excited about our date tomorrow night that I decided to go shopping at SouthCoast
Plaza (one of So Cal's biggest malls). I have never spent so long shopping in my whole life but I want our "first date" to be perfect.I tried on some great outfits but couldn't make a final decision so I came away with all 4. One is a Paul Sednick design called "European Traveler". It is supposed to give a man that "worldy, smart" look. It even came with a beret and backpack! The second is an Aldo Droo designer suit for the "classic look". I bought some glasses to go with it (she is a librarian after all). Third, and the one I'm leaning toward is a cool black pants and jacket with gray shirt. The salesman guaranteed me that it was the perfect "firs Read more:Shopping
Rain in So Cal 2007-09-22 18:59:00 Woke up this morning to the sound of rain. I love the rain.After my shower I struck up the nerve to call Betty. She sounds so SWEET on the phone! We talked for 2 and a half hours and our conversation just flowed smoothly. I told her about Yasmine and now Jewelie and she seemed very concerned for me. She said that her father is a Psychiatrist and that she has studied psychiatry for many years. She gave me some great advice for dealing with Jewelie. Including no direct eye contact, sudden movements, large areas of the color red or saying anything to her that she may take as a joke. Betty said one of the symptoms of the disorder (that it sounds to her like Jewelie suffers from) is a need to make everything "about them" and to make anyone who dares talk about them or laugh at them ...."pay". Even to the point of acting out ridiculous public behavior that will make people laugh and talk just so she can then go on the attack. She said it can be a very serious disorder. She to
Puppies and an APOLOGY 2007-09-21 11:42:00 Yesterday was my day off. I had happened to see an ad the day before for "puppies for sale" on our studio bulletin board and decided to go have a look. Wow, they were cute!! Mixed breed Lab and unknown. There were 3 boys and 3 girls (4 of which have already been spoken for) so I have my pick between a little tan colored girl or a white and brown boy. I told the woman I'd call her today..... I'm still trying to decide if I should get one of these or go to a shelter to choose one.On to other news, I wrote that librarian, Betty, back and she gave me her number! I'm going to call her this weekend.You are probably wondering about Jewelie? Have I heard from Jewelie?! Well, surprisingly YES. The day after that class she called me (sobbbing hysterically I might add) and asked me to please forgive her for being such "an asshole". Wow. She said "I know I have very deep and troubling personality issues and I'm working on them in therapy". She asked if she could "p
Betty sounds nice! 2007-09-19 11:01:00 ......I had a pleasant surprise today when I woke up to this email! It was a surprise because my personal-ad account ran out a week ago. Wow. This one almost sounds normal.Dare I get my hopes up??? Read more:Betty
Nutjob in the house 2007-09-18 03:16:00 This evening was my Stretch and Groove exercise class and I was shocked, once again, when Jewelie came waltzing in the door like she owned the place. I was even more shocked at her outfit. I didn't think it could get any more bizarre than the last class....but I was wrong! I think my jaw actually fell on the floor when I saw her. She looked like a Christmas elf going to an '80s' themed dance! I could hear muffled laughter over the loud music as she took her place in line. Once again, I tried hard not to watch her as she danced but I could hear the bells on her slippers jingling as she moved and I was trying to think of anything I could to keep from laughing. I did notice she kept glaring at the women around her who were obviously amused at her antics. Suddenly, right as the second song started, she marched over to me angrily and said loudly into my ear "I want the 4 of them to go!" I was startled to have her right up in my face like that. "Huh?" I said for clarificatio Read more:Nutjob
Yesterday's news made me sad and angry 2007-09-15 03:10:00 I got a phone call from Gwen yesterday which, normally, would have thrilled me but I could tell right away that something was wrong by the sound of her voice. It seems she was just laid-off from her job. Suddenly, unexpectedly and without any prior hints or warnings! I feel so badly for her and the other 4 dance instructors at the "Band O Rama" dance studio there in Canada. I guess the owner just sold the dance studio right out from under them and when they got to work the locks were changed. You would have thought the owner could have at least given them some warning of some kind. You know, time to take a few photos of the place and say goodbye to one another in their familiar work environment. But no, he just locked them out. Gwen was very depressed, especially since Thor's lumberjack business is slow these days. That in turn made me sad for her. She said she "missed me". I miss her too. I really do. I can still remember what fun it was to laugh with her in Seatt Read more:Yesterday
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