Owner: Sell Your Girlfriend URL:http://sellyourgirlfriend.blogspot.com Join Date: Tue, 08 Aug 2006 10:02:38 -0500 Rating:1 Site Description: Humorous geeks so sexy they should be considered aliens from the planet Sexytron. Or just funny geeks. Site statistics:Click here
Really smelly stuff 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Hi guys! I hope every one's new year is off to a good start. I was hoping I misunderstood Whistler, and that she didn't lose another Donkey! Words can't express how sorry we are for her. I'd have had a nervous break down then Early wouldn't have gotten laid and he would have had to have kilt em fer sure. We've finally figured out what country we want to go to. Now all we have to do is hope beyond hope, that we get every thing sold soon, in the next few months I mean. I won't give it away just yet, but I'll give you a few hints. The cost of living is reasonable, we can take the babies, and flights are fairly priced if you buy them a month or two in advance. It's beautiful, you can tan on topless beaches, the weather is never too hot, never too cold. It's a safe country, as far as safe goes. After living in Boise for years, being tortured and lied about by the locals just for fun, I'd say East LA is a safe place. What do I know.We've been practicing up on our espan yo lee. La Read more:stuff
Dancing Daze 1970-01-01 00:59:59 It's been a great week. I got my letter from Truly Evil 2, my call from Ney, a few emails from Karlos and found out a couple people I'd known and liked 20 something years ago are still alive and kicking.Being a Dancer was wonderful. I learned some really important life skills, and met some really neat people along the way. Some taught me lessons I could never have learned anywhere else, some ended up being life long friends, & some are fond memories.Back when I first started dancing I was awful. Being awful is a bad thing, being awful doing a job that requires you to pay them to let you work there is a really bad thing. I worked for free the first few weeks and within a couple of months I was making the big bucks walking out with 30 dollars a night after a 6 or 7 hour shift. Since cab fare to & from the club was split between 3 of us we could actually afford to splurge at Jack in the box on the way home. I was not the most attractive girl there, and they ran between 30 and 70 Read more:Dancing
Poor Baby 1970-01-01 00:59:59 First off, I'm not all too pleased with the new E blogger. Anybody have any ideas on a blog site comparable to the old service we were all using that actually worked? I've spent days trying to read the other comment on Whistlers AN Smith post. Every time I go to Karlos's site from ANY link I get "The page you are looking for might have been removed, had its name changed, or is temporarily unavailable." It some times takes days for me to post or comment on our blog. I emailed blogger about this weeks ago and never got an answer. I feel bad about bitching since I'm getting their service for free, however if I can't post...More about Anna NicoleWhat a horrible tragedy. No matter what one might think of Anna, unfortunate there is an innocent baby without a mother involved. This poor little baby needs to be with the person that will love her more than anything else in the world, a person who is not high on drugs.In my humble opinion this person is not Howard K Stern, he is not the Dad
Spit or Swallow? 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I finally recovered from Valentines day (there you go thinking dirty again).It poured rain, and our explorer that's only four years old, that shouldn't be breaking down, broke down. We called my Dad to come give us a tow, but changed our mind deciding he would some how manage to throw it in our face later.Early took me out for my favorite dinner, my pick anywhere I wanted to go. Unfortunately I chose I HOP, because number one we're hillbillies, and two because IHOP is the only place I can get a cheese blintz. I had a craving for blintzes, my bad.The first bite of my blintz set off an alarm. You know, the OMG what do I have in my mouth alarm. One of my most dreaded body alarms, especially when it goes off in my mouth. I stopped chewing, immediately re adjusted the offending substance to the back and sides of my tongue. What to do, spit or swallow!To late I decided, no other choice but to swallow. At this point my alarm stops going off. My brain comfortable with the fact that my hands
It's that time of year! 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Hi all, I posted two for you. The Spit or Swallow is a new post under this one. Love to all!Looks like I have time to tell you about the Banshee story. I am assuming I will have time to finish this before rushing Matthew to the emergency room.Matthew is out in the heat, on the tractor pulling up stumps so we can terrace the front yard. Guns, girls, cars and a 60,000 dollar life size Tonka tractor to play on. Boys and their toys. I guess it could be worse but I fear what his mid-life crises will bring, that is if he makes it to mid-life. Last month he dropped one of those huge stumps out of the bucket and onto the tractor missing him by a couple of feet. We just got the tractor out of the shop. He wants a bigger tractor I will get a new video camera if this happens.There is a creek very near the house with several spots where the locals swim. The spot we go to requires a bit of a hike through thick brush taller than myself to get to, and the creek itself is pretty rocky in this area. We
2007-04-05 05:30:00
Dear Mr Menu Foods 2007-04-05 05:30:00 We normally address our letters to whom it may concern, but it seems pretty obvious that in this particular circumstance, nobody would be reading our email right now. But that's neither here nor there, the reason for my email is to suggest you might think about changing your sales strategy just a bit.I'm no famous fortune teller but you have to be looking at the facts, no pet owner in their right mind is ever again going to trust you with the lives of their beloved companions. Your slogan did mention something about caring, or that you care, something trivial like that. The unfortunate souls that had their pets murdered by your products are probably pretty perturbed about this and maybe even feeling a little fibbed to.We both know that's just not good business.The way I see it you need to get your sales back up and fast. Below you will find my suggestions for a more realistic approach to marketing your products.You got a lot of gravy product you need to get rid of which means you ne Read more:Foods
A letter to Rocket from Lucifer 2007-04-09 01:59:00 Hi my name is Lucifer, I'm sitting on the side of the road in Seattle picking my teeth with this guy named Don Imus. He's the radio DJ that while speaking about some college basketball team referred to them as Nappy headed Ho's and Jigaboos. Ho by the way is a word coined by those of African persuasion used to describe woman of African persuasion. Sometimes it means girlfriend or mate, as in "that's my Ho" or "don't even be messing with my ho". The word ho is never to be used by white people, you have your own language, ebonics doesn't suit you and neither does wearing ball caps backwards or pants that are far to big for you. 30 years ago this was a sure fire way to tell at first glance if the new kid on the block was "slow". It still is.Anyway I'm getting pretty bored with this politically correct bullshit and would really like to move on to bigger and badder things if you know what I mean. So for those of you that don't understand the rules (Don) I'm going to spell them out
For Sheila 2007-04-20 10:18:00 Today I have a special show and tell for those of you who recall me writing about my Saturday manager (Doug) that made us come to work even if we were in a full body cast. Here is a photo of him, don't let the flowers fool you lol. Just kidding Doug.I've been getting some funny emails lately. One was titled "Our store is sureal" the store was called weiniesRus, I have no idea how I got onto that mailing list. I got the following email from a dear friend.My friend writes... PS: In case anyone cares, we have snow on the ground in TEXAS in APRIL. Its fricking cold!To which I reply... Where in TexasHer reply was... We live in the Texas Panhandle between Lubbock and Amarillo - the square part on top."the square part on top"??? I so deserved that and I love you so much that I hope your weather is beautiful this weekend (even after that comment lol.)We took the hounds in for their shots and vet checks yesterday. I felt a stabbing pain of love for Banshee when he was the perfect gentleman fo Read more:Sheila
Valium is a good thing 2007-04-24 11:28:00 Poor little Sheba is in the puppy hospital. She's had surgery, was sliced open from the top of her belly all the way down, has been there for three days and is still in pretty bad condition. I guess whole pecan pies, cowboy boots and car seats aint got nothing on whatever the hell it was she ate this last time.Please send healing thoughts her way and flowers my way. The padded room I'm heading for is really drab, all white has never been my color.Love to all.
Godfather of what??? 2007-05-03 01:19:00 Sheba was back at doggy emergency again last night but seems to be doing better today. I'm waiting for the plumber to get here. For some reason our dishwasher, one of our shower's, and our washing machine won't drain, they're all backed up. Everything else drains perfect, that's odd even for us. Between attorneys, veterinarians and plumbers I feel like I should just tattoo a credit card number on my forehead for quick and easy access.While waiting I watched a special on James Brown. This poor stupid woman marries James Brown, stays beside the man for years, through a lot of shit I might add, has his child and WHAM as soon as he's dead, her ass is kicked out of the house and not even invited to his funeral. She should have learned from OJ's former wife, no one gave a shit about what happened to her either.IMO If she was good enough for him to choose her as his companion in life and in his bed, she's surely good enough to sleep in his bed after his death. His attorneys and fami Read more:Godfather
Punk Ass Little Fuck... 2007-05-07 21:06:00 Early & I were bringing home our sick little Sheba from the vet (again) a few days ago. While we were standing at the counter there was a woman with a kid that looked about 15 standing next to us checking out their cat. The woman asked me what the patch on Sheba's side was for. I wanted to tell her it was a nicotene patch but thought better of it after reading her sons t-shirt, figuring she wasn't the type to find it humorous. Instead I explained that it's a Fentanyl patch, a strong opiate time release narcotic pain killer.Her son making small talk, follows us out the door to the car where he asks us if he can buy Sheba's patch from us! Selling my dogs fentanyl patch to a 15 year old, when the poor animal has a 6 inch gaping wound in her belly is just wrong. Now lets ad that the 15 year old was wearing a T-shirt that said "Jesus is coming." It's times like this I suffer from an affliction I call "tarded", that's when my brain melts from trying to figure out too many things at
Happy Cinco de Mayo! 2007-05-10 09:33:00 I've spent the past few months learning Spanish from some audio tapes we bought online. To celebrate my graduation to chapter two, Bunny and I decided to spend Cinco de Mayo at a local Mexican food market.I had a blast but Bunny wouldn't drink. She didn't want to try and get a cab with all the dogs. I tried to convince her that Banshee could steer and that Sheba could work the petals and we could get home that way, but she wouldn't go for it.I started out with a corona that my new found Mexican friends bought me, then I was on to my Mexican wine (half tequila half wine). Bunny says the stuff's absolutely disgusting and I'll admit that it's pretty harsh but I had an excellent time. Things began to get a little distorted, as I drank more of my Mexican wine but I was conversing fluently with the Mexicans that I was talking to. I know they understood what I was saying because they laughed with me all afternoon and called me a "esta buen loco jeuro" and cheered after I won every ja Read more:Happy
DICK! 2007-05-24 01:29:00 When I got my Mercedes, I got what I wanted. A 1983 Mercedes 300d, and I loved it. The car personifies old school dignity, and class. Straight lines mixed with just enough curve, with a nice touch of upscale early 80's style luxury. No it didn't cost $100,000+, but it did cost more than some newer models.With new business opportunities in places most wouldn't have the balls to go let alone live, I decided to put it up for sale and move on. Because I love the car (man thing) I'm concerned with finding it a good home where it would be used, and not left to rust, collect dust. So I ran an ad: I had a "Mercedes" expert call me up asking all sorts of questions. The man spoke with what I equate to large amount of cum in his throat voice. He already wants me to lower my price......on the phone, and I already don't want to sell MY car to such a fuckin' mizer. He and his wife show up at dusk to examine my car..........AT DUSK. I told him that I had an important telephone call th
Sheba needs people prozac 2007-05-27 18:21:00 That's what the vet told us. We are now going on over a month of surgery and recovery of Sheeba. Yesterday was the first day in a very very long time that we let her outside to potty, we were afraid crazy dog would re injure herself. The doctor wants us immediately after Sheeba gets done with her pain killers to put her on Prozac......There is puppy Prozac, but he and his colleges believe that with her hyper activity level she needs people
Prozac.After a few nights ago when a large thunder storm came through, we are definitely in agreement with the Doctors opinion. Banshee is terrified of large bangs, especially thunder, we tranquilize him during storms. We think that it has something to do with his breed and their association with wars. Banshee was trying to hide from the claps of thunder and Sheeba trying to relate I think?? would mimic everything Banshee did. It was mimicing for sure, because he would hide under the coffee table whimpering, then she in a delayed reaction would do e Read more:Sheba
Masturbation 2007-06-11 20:45:00 We've been good, busy but good.We've started packing and in the time it's taken us to get this far - Sheila and Twinkle Toes have moved their home and business to a complete different state, Carlos lived through an entire semester of logic, Gator made yet another Rose bowl parade, Ney has been to and from four countries, Robin has managed 6 more months of a male toddler without having to call FEMA to her home (not that it would help) and Peg captured good man meat which we all know is not an easy task.Maybe Early and I are in the little yellow bus all alone after all. Early's driving and I'm the one in the back with my ass hanging out the window. Why is Early always the one driving and I'm always the one in the back you ask? Because Early never lets poor Bunny drive and it's over little things like after hours of whining, pouting and begging Bunny finally got to drive our brand new 5 day old car - right into a Suburban. I know, I'm with you guys, that's what insurance and two Read more:Masturbation
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