Owner: donald james simpson / unbalanced URL:http://9961.blogspot.com Join Date: Sun, 03 Sep 2006 20:53:22 -0500 Rating:1 Site Description: you have reached the end of the internet.
a little dry, a little dark, a little bit sick, unbalanced pokes fun at the internet, people, and life itself; more of a humor column than a blog, short daily posts. Site statistics:Click here
SUNDAY DRIVE ™ 2006-10-22 17:03:00
IMAGE SEARCH RESULTS: SUICIDE
nice bag
human bomb?
cheap feel
bracing for impact
this tree is pissing
angry
give us your ammo
definately an "after" shot
banana republic #1
banana republic #2
human whale
last week's Big Blog
WHORE-O-SCOPE 2006-10-21 09:10:00
whores? here's a couple of 'em
DEAD MOOSE PICTURE 2006-10-20 09:49:00
NO BULLWINKLE JOKES
Rocky, on the other hand, is a putrid piece of shtein. unless, of course, your talkin' about the old Rocky Road, which is where old boy, here, has very recently been through some changes.
here's how it ended up...
click to enrage
Read more:MOOSE
FROGGY B. GOODE 2006-10-20 00:27:00
GO, FROGGY, GO, GO!
here's a fun image, from a chain email forwarded to me today by my old friend mammalman; and, just in time, too, since flickr was having problems this morning, and I couldn't post before I went to work. hey, for that matter, this page wouldn't load, either, since most of my images are on flickr.I did have a dead moose picture to put up today, though...
NO MORE BIG BLOG? 2006-10-18 12:16:00
THAT'S RIGHT...
...so, don't do anything rash. Sundays will still get a post, just in a different format, that's all. like, maybe, an internet roadkill theme park, I don't know... but, hey, stay tuned, though...
UP SHIT CREEK 2006-10-17 09:54:00
WITH A PADDLE
my friend Johnny found this cool picture and emailed it to me.I didn't know there was an actual Shit Creek,
let alone one with a "Paddle Store".
oh, yeah. way to go, Johnny.
oh, did I mention they sell great souvenirs, too? Read more:CREEK
TOO MUCH SUGAR 2006-10-16 10:34:00
WIND HIM UP & WATCH HIM GO
this home video is a classic example of how
too many candy bars, cans of soda-pop, bowls ofover-processed cereal, and over-sweetened Kool-Aid
will over-process and over-sweeten your little one.
maybe, just maybe, in this case, it ought to be
over-process and over-sweeten your big one.it's true... too much sugar is bad for his metabolism.give your children an apple, or road-kill, instead.
another Health Tip brought to you by doctor chip.
say, what else is bad for me?
SPLIT PARADE 2006-10-23 09:50:00
A REAL KODAK MOMENT
yup. old boy, here, is off to a very bad start this Monday.lucky for us, someone had a camera at the ready,and got this terrific action photo.I don't see any regulation skidmarks, though...
WORST EVER 2006-10-24 11:22:00
WEDDING PHOTO
is it the teeth, the beer can, the pajamas, the dog...... or the fact that she's pregnant, and smoking, to boot?
forget about the pants, forget about the
Ritz-Carlton in the background, there.it doesn't get any worse than this.
what else is the Worst?
UNBALANCED IMAGE 2006-10-25 11:25:00
G A R G A N T U A N
this magnificent bastard of a picture arrived in an
Email the other day from my friend Johnny.not only is this guy bigger than the motorcycle,
he looks to be bigger than the cars, too!
I mean, this guy is huge!
yo, dude! Jenny Craig called... Read more:UNBALANCED
SUNDAY DRIVE ™ 2006-10-29 12:38:00
I'M LOVIN' IT
Condi makes a wish...
old gal's ready for Halloween. slut.
Best. Apron. Ever. click to enrage.
say hello to Maryland Monroe.
okay, so... she's a dog.
I would if I could help it...
look, it's the Queen Mum! what a pig.
this is record breaking.
this guy's seen about enough.
last week's Drive
DICK OF THE MONTH 2006-10-28 06:00:00
KIM JONG II
that's right, the leader of North Korea, by virtue of completely unwarranted
nuclear testing,
is October's Dick of the Month. now, everybody's pissed off at North Korea, except maybe some of the Arab States. hey, even the Commie Pinko Chinese are on our side this time. way to go, there, Deuce, congratulations.
you fuck.
what? oh, yeah... it
is
the right photo.
last month's Weiner
MR DEATH SAYS 2006-10-27 06:00:00
"Hey! what the hell is that?"
what else did Mr. Death say?
LOOK, MA, NO HANDS ! 2006-10-26 06:00:00
I'M GLAD I HAVE A DICK...
... 'cause I'm typing with it. I was doing an image search
the other day for "malfunctional reglet joint",
when I suddenly fell away from the computer and intothe electric cheese grater I just bought.
talk about fucked up.I guess that item's going to the return desk...... all kidding aside, I've been down sick for a few days, and trying to keep up at work. I'm posting this from the future, through the magic of blogger, so it looks like I posted today. yup.
UDDERLY RIDICULOUS 2006-10-30 12:38:00
PULLING THE PLUG ON HUMOR
this androgenous-looking sicko has been served-up to y'all today, as a reminder that tomorrow is Halloween. you know, one time I went to a Halloween party dressed as a
tampon...
... it's true.
TRICK OR TREAT 2006-11-01 02:51:00
YOU WANT SOME CANDY?
here's a little treat for people who love tricks...... when kids come to this door on
Halloween,
this Jack-Ass-O-Lantern becomes a
chocolate pellet dispenser!
I think the name on the mailbox is "Shteinberg", too...
... and, speaking of shtein, check out these suicide kings...
oh, and check out this
ghost picture
I got in an Email!
ALL HANDS ON DECK 2006-11-01 11:10:00
ROOF DECK, THAT IS
after some very disturbing personal communications concerning the recent loss of my hands, I figured I had to clear things up a bit. so, here's a fresh shot of me on Halloween Night... at sunset, and on a rooftop in the Baltimore area. as you can see, my
severed hands
have been surgically re-attached. yup.
click on photo for full size
CHANKS A LOT 2006-11-02 10:31:00
IT'S JUST A FLESH WOUND
that's right... having sex or bodily fluid exchange withan unclean partner can lead to all sorts of problems.from Herpes, to A.I.D.S., to the "Clap",
to Syphalis, to a Chanker Sore like this one.take it from me, disinfect your play pals before you begin,and you'll keep it all to good, clean fun.
another Health Tip brought to you by doctor chip.
Health Tip? what a
sweet deal!
MIRROR, MIRROR 2006-11-03 09:31:00
ON THE SHIT-HOUSE WALL
one of the better images I've found recently, this came upduring an image search for "undulating bat bwana".
looks like old girl, here, is checking outher own not-so-handy-work.
yup. it takes all kinds... Read more:MIRROR
SUNDAY DRIVE ™ 2006-11-05 13:09:00
R E C O R D - S E T T I N G
yesterday, the
animation
I posted seemed to getquite a bit of attention... I got the screenshot below,the most users on this site at one time,eclipsing the months-old mark of 101.the above image, however, was sent to me by
RockDog,
the second biggest weiner ever. the photo, not RockDog.oh, fuck me, that just sounded wrong...
click on images for full-size
most backwards bike riding
spookiest sand-castle
this is the biggest weiner ever
most 'roid abuse
did you see what I saw?
biggest cereal bowl
biggest burger
tallest party mess
best. car-pool. ever.
last week's Drive
GHOST WITH THE MOST 2006-11-06 13:07:00
C R E E P Y
here's another one of the images I had emailed
to me for Halloween... this one, circa 1916.looks like this guy flew off the handle...
JIMMY CRACKED PORN 2006-11-07 09:21:00
AND I DON'T CARE
meet little Jimmy. little Jimmy recently cracked Daddy's safe, which holds pornography. everybody knows that viewing pornography causes delusions, dementia, and paranoia.oh, and you go blind, too. just ask little Jimmy, who recently joined Al-Quaida. after going blind, that is.way to go, Dad. Read more:JIMMY
UNBALANCED BABY TOSS 2006-11-09 00:12:00
WORK WORK WORK
yup. seems I forgot to put up a post this morning. that's what happens when you work 80 - 100 hours / week, for months on end. you start to forget stuff. hey, this ain't what I signed up for when I took this new job. that's okay, though, 'cause help is on the way. just not for this little one, however.
it's too late for him. her. it. huh. Read more:UNBALANCED
FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH 2006-11-09 11:26:00
C O U N T E R P R O D U C T I V E
seems to me that this recently discovered image is it's own contradiction of terms. these poor kids got tricked into taking a Golden Shower, when all they really wanted was to cool off.the city wasn't identified, but if you see this big guy, leave.
leave right now.
BUSH IS A PIMP 2006-11-10 13:38:00
IT'S TRUE
hey, photos don't lie, and, besides...... if it's on the internet, it must be true.
Pimp Daddy, yup. what a joker.
SIGN OF THE TIMES 2006-11-11 13:35:00
AS GOOD AS IT GETS
indeed, what could be better than this? the manager arranged for this when I called about dinner hours. crazy bastard got a band together, too. well, we, the staff here at unbalanced, are flattered. not to be confused with flattened. yup.
SUNDAY DRIVE ™ 2006-11-12 06:00:00
WELCOME BACK.
TO SHTEIN CENTRAL.
well. through the magic of Blogger (which I'll get back to in a day or two), I'm posting this from the future... the 14th to be exact, because it took 2 full days to boot the hacker who hijacked my URL. oh, yeah, you heard me right. some FUCK hacked my password, then STOLE the URL, for the purpose of hijacking my traffic. I'll give more details tomorrow, but for this post (which, incidentally, was going to be the greatest collection of toilet images EVER), I'll just give a brief run-down.
this is what happened...
Sunday morning (today, heh heh) I was uploading images for the Sunday Drive... the usual 45 minutes, see? when I'm done, I open Blogger to post 'em. but what do I get? NO BLOGS LISTED IN MY BLOGGER DASHBOARD! what the fuck!? so I do a quick Blog Search (Google) on "9961", and this turns up.
my head started to spin...... that's MY URL, with bullshit attached to it!
even a fucking
blind man
can seethat there's
H A C K E D 2006-11-13 06:00:00
CHICKEN MOTHER FUCKER
the hacker has been stalking me since February, best I can tell. here's some details for you. for those interested, my password was hidden in plain sight, all along... my birthday, 090961. yup. combine my URL with my Email address, and you have it. I figured nobody would ever look for that. that is, unless some evil fuck wanted it bad enough. which they did. 'nuf said. how'd I catch 'em? the dumbass (dumbasses?) didn't count on my supreme tracking software. yup. StatCounter recorded the exact time, place and URL of the attack; the source html showed the time in GMT, as well as the Blogger member source (betcha didn't think of THAT, huh, you FUCK(S)!), and, well, about 520 posts, some cached, incoming links, site reviews... well you get the picture. oh, and did I mention the... well... NOBODY knows about that one. huh. digest it, you hacking fuck. I guess that some hackers are just pretty fucking stupid, ya know it? oh, the chicken? well, I have enoug
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