Owner: XUEER - fairytopiaworld ((: URL:http://xueer-fairytopiaworld.blogspot.com Join Date: Sat, 02 Sep 2006 05:32:09 -0500 Rating:1 Site Description: it's all about CHERYL YAP (XUEER) - in her fairytopiaworld. living life to her fullest. loving her bf, friends & everyone around her. ((: view her blog to know more. she is photo crazy. & she loves sincere people. so make friends with her today!.. Site statistics:Click here
2006-12-05 16:03:00 my life's gonna be so different from now on.i'm seriously afraid to face it alone, but i don't wanna pull anyone down.i know how it feels. i don't want. i'm sorry to those i hurt.i love you guys. muacks.
*shan't be blogging till i know the truth bahs. )):
2006-12-04 11:34:00 sorry for not posting. i did blog. but i didn't post them out.because it was all sad sad sad sad posts. sorry.i've been tired & sick. working is seriously draining me.tired like hell. yet i still have to work.ohhhh. mc models called again. but i asked them to call my sis.NO roadshows for me, NO skimpy ads for me.strictly noNOno!.. esp biks ad. i won't do.it's not only cause of :D. but i know myself.i won't want people looking at the ad.and if i were to see myself in the ad.i'll feel so cheap. x:but too bad, mc models is all this kind of ads.and it's cause of them, i decided to quit modelling and say NO to the other 3 modelling agencies.i wanna have more more more more more money!..lols. who wanna give me money?.. sponsor me?..ahaha.i'll be going malaysia week after next. don't miss me.cause i seldom update my blog already. i might be closing this blog down soon.too many unknown people adding me in msn. causing it to be full again.i've deleted but not blocked. so yarhs.i a
2006-11-20 15:36:00 i teared during the chanting. it's like sooooo sadddd.sighs. uncle, i seriously have NO idea why you had to leave your family behind.do you know how much it hurts?..even ME, just a gf of your son, is crying for you.being so sad, not being able to sleep.can you imagine your wife's pain?..the husband she loved wholeheartedly, treating her the best.sighs. what's meant to be is meant to be.but it really hurts so much to see :D crying. sighsssss.the only time i can really laugh is when i play with natasha.the soooooo cute little girl!..joyce girl ; thanks for coming down with your friends today. *hugs*jane girlfriend ; thanks for your concern. ((: and i'll send your regards to him.haojie ; a guy i don't know at all. an ex-classmate of :D. thanks for the regards you asked me to send him too.julie mei ; yeas. i love you mei. muacks. :D is better now. maybe he's putting a false front in front of me. i don't know. all i can do is to be there for him. i love you. muackies!..farhana ; than
2006-11-19 14:10:00 i'm home. from the funeral. stayed there the whole afternoon.came back after dinner.& yeas, they are better. thanks to those who were showing their care & concern.muacks & i love you girls!..were talking about 2 people in the afternoon, obviously they should know who they are luhs. -ahaha-and it seems most of my girlfriends find them ugly. hmms, how great.when i felt they were pretty. x: i remember :D always getting angry with me for saying that.because he says if i was uglier, he wouldn't choose me.wells, i guess it's the truth now. cause even people who do NOT know anything says that. ((:say i'm bhb of whatever, at least i have what it takes to brag.i have the fig, the looks. ((::D, don't worry. i'll build my self confidence up okays?.. -muacksssss-okays, let me see who actually sent their regards.hemi jie, yen jie, slayer, annice, sandy, shandy, julie mei, joyce girl, jas, rachel, val, van, lene, marisa, jess, sandytan, feli, jy, qiqi and i forgot who.sorry.to my readers,
2006-11-17 14:41:00 i seriously want to write all my thoughts down.but i don't know how to or what to write.all i hope is :D gets well soon.he will be strong again, the smiling him.joking and playing around with me.i want :D's old self back!..why must it always be like that luhs. whyWHYwhy!?..why did you have to leave them at such a young age!?..why did you leave :D, ada & your wife behind?..they are hurting soooooo damn fcuking much you know!?..the whole house is full of your presence, your stuff.how can they ever be happy again?..:D will think of you everyday. because your clothes are all in his room!..the tv, your bedroom, everything.the household chores, the grocery, who's gonna do them now?!..your wife alone has to support the whole family.:D and ada is studying. you can't expect them to NOT study!..i don't want them to quit school. education is IMPORTANT.i realised it after i did a foolish thing!..:D MUST NEVER follow in my footsteps!..if :D falls asleep, please go enter his dream.tell him
2006-11-17 12:51:00 why must life be so unfair luhs. sighs.i know how you are feeling :D. i'm gonna go through this with you.don't worry okays?.. you will be strong.i'll make you strong. i'll make you smile again.you can do it de :D. i know you can.you have to pull yourself together and be STRONG!..i'm sorry i had to leave. i'm sorry i can't acc you tmr.and that i can only go find you on sun.i'm truly sorry. but i have to work.hope you'll understand yarhs?.. i love you :D.please be strong for my sake. we have a long long way to go.we have so many years ahead of us. i love you :Duncle, please rest in peace. i'm sure your son will take good care of your family.he'll be more mature and that he'll think properly.you were peaceful when you left. don't worry. rip.
2006-11-12 14:39:00 i'm back to blog. i miss blogging out of a sudden.and for the past 2 days, oggix tagboard had a problem.if you tag, it can't come out. sorry.but i know oggix has fixed it. loves*
why can't girls grow up. or rather why must ex-es of guys keep finding trouble for girls they are interested in at that moment?.. why?..can't you girls grow up?.. i know if i break with :D, i won't.as in a REAL CLEAN break. i'll just leave him.and go do whatever i want. because there are other guys anyway.so let me live my life happily can?.. pissed*
sighs. i seriously don't understand. i aint pretty aint popular.why can't i lead a normal life luhs. -sighs-why must there always be other girls creating trouble for me.fcuk my life luhs. idiots!!!!
2006-11-07 12:41:00 i can't go in to auds. sighssss.i wanna play auds!.. i need auds!..i love my ohana family. let me name them.yen jie, cro kor, rigo kor, hemi jie, winter jie, fire mei, hania mei, ororo, djalvin, bryan di, adrain, sunny kor, :D and me!.. ((:i love you guys tonssss. muacks to the girls!.. sorry guys.you have nothing. LOLS.
hmms. i hate inconsiderate people.people who take 3 seats when they are NOT FAT!.. dumbass.stupid fcuker. you deprived me of a seat luhs!..idiot motherfcuker. x:
i don't know what to blog about. but i promise bestie to blog.more often luhs. not everyday.i'm tired of blogging. sighssss.i don't care if no one reads luhs. it's my blog. ((:it's my life anyway. i hate the way people read my blog.see me on the streets. and shout my name like i'm such a big fcuk.or esp guys who will just talk about me. fcuk you all in hell luhs.I AINT PRETTY I AINT CHIO I AINT CUTE!!..
sighs. am damn emo nowadays luhs. sorryyyy.i hate the feeling i'm having. i hate the moodswings.i ha
2006-11-05 09:45:00 i'm backie~ sorry for not blogging for so long.i know it's been ages, but heys. i'm glad for receiving those info on people deleting my tags.you blog readers rock!.. ((:since it's been ages since i blogged, it's supposed to be long.but i am too lazy luhs. that's the main reason why i don't blog so much anymore.& audition-ing is more important. ahaha.hmms, what can i say about my life now?.. the confusion is over.i've made my decision and stand. i hope i won't get disappointed or sad again.working at singapore power is seriously killing me.is either i'm toooooo busy or toooooo free luhs. why can't they space out my workload?..dumbasses-someone is being DOH behind me. :D just said he's bear bear scissors hand. LOLS.i'm like roflmao luhs. ahaha. oh, and i haven't thanked those who wished me happy birthday finish yet.i shall start it now. the list goes::D, juliana mei, yen jie, hemi jie, winter jie, adrain, bryan di, sunny, bestie, annice, shandy, jane, jaslyn, sandy jie, joy
2006-10-25 13:11:00 anyone miss me?.. -ahaha-went out with :D yesterday.caught death note, ate chicken rice, ate mix veg rice.i don't know what else luhs.it was fun yet sad. -sighs- i'm sorryyyyyy.
me!.. i love myself okays?..
the shadow of me, living in my own silhouette, my world, my life, my fantasy.
when i thought those smiles could hide the tears of mine...
this was before everything all started, those hated quarrels. )): i'm sorry :D. *muacks* a kiss specially for you.
i realise smiles can't hide tears at all....
instead it brings more tears...
and i ended up calling you to send me home. )):
that's all.no mood to talk.let my FUGLY pics do the talking.i know i suck. esp at love. you can choose not to love me okays?.. )):
2006-12-08 14:19:00 i'm suprised. she aint like other girls at all. but why?..hmms, i don't know. she gave me her link,blahh blahh. loads of stuff. kept sms-ing me.i somehow wonder. but at least i didn't scold or anything luhs.i only talked NICELY. real nice okays.ask mei if you don't believe. hurrs~i'm getting a new tagboard. no more oggix i guess.maybe i should go back to cbox.i don't know. -sighs-there are con men everywhere yeas?.. & i seriously hate them.made us RUSH DOWN to bugis during lunch luhs. so EEYER.& i met someone i KNOW. she felt my WAIST. & she's like turning into a butch!..wth is wrong with the people now?..every morning for the past week, this OLD MAN has been stalking me!..a guy stole my today paper on wed. HE JUST SNATCHED IT OUT OF ME.& SMILED AT ME!.. he fcuking had the nerve to smile at me!..i wanna go out. sighs. i miss my friends. but then. sighs.i don't know. there are so many friendships i lost.all over GUYS. yet those girls i dislike cause they flirt with my gu
2006-12-11 13:30:00 i'm utterly disappointed. in one person especially.because firstly, i NEVER ever saw your bf before.& you could actually end our 10 years of bestie friendship just cause of one sentence of his,& that is he said i was prettier. like WTH.i never saw him before luhs okays. & he only viewed ONE friendster pic of mine.those words you said to me, were really very hurtful.i'll never forget what you said to me.you said it was my fault he flirt with other girls because i always snatch other girl's guys. when i freaking NEVER.those guys like me is like wtf. i don't like them okays.is it my fault guys like me?.. is it my fault i'm born this way?..is it my fault he flirts?..WHY IS IT THAT EVERY FCUKING THING IS MY FAULT?!..i hate myself for that luhs okays. FCUK THIS WORLD.work has been sucky too. wth is wrong with my life.i seriously so wanna give up. i hate myself hate myself hate myself.don't say you FCUKING LOVE me if you're playing with me.don't say you care when you FCUKING DON'
2006-12-11 15:35:00 i'm stress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FRIENDSHIP
LOVE
WORK
FCUK THIS WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why must you 2 hurt me so much.why must work be so stressful.i rather be the pampered me, staying home everyday then to work in this fcuking shyt company.why why why.i hate love, i hate friends, i hate work.how worst can my life go?..
2006-12-12 14:22:00 i slammed the keyboard in office. was seriously piss today.pls luhs. i aint superwoman okays. stop giving me ALL the work!..i need my rest too luhs. i need to rest my eyes.to go toilet & stuff luhs.tmr is their payday. i must sort out all 2k is it?!..that what is the other girl for?!..SHOW?!.. -fcuk-i somehow wonder why some people are willing to get lied to.listening to those lies over & over again, knowing they are all lies.i'm in this situation, yet i don't wanna give up. i don't know why.i just love you too much. -sighs-
2006-12-14 14:08:00 work was boring as usual.i bought my NOKIA 7390!!!!!!!!so damn fcuking happy okays.even though was so damn fcuking down cause of :D.but i guess it's over already. ((:i miss him yes i do. you can't force me not to.
jas ; there's nothing more i can say to you.either you stop it now before things get worst,or just leave your fcuking bf luhs.as though we break friendship he will stop saying about me.who ask you to choose him in the first place.i told you NONONONONO right?!..cause he damn fcuking ahbeng, stupid smoker.& YOU BETTER STOP SMOKING i tell you NOW!..
2006-12-17 08:00:00 i'm going to malaysia tmr. i hope it's gonna be fun.i'm gonna bring my blades up. to have sooooo much of fun!.. -gleams-you guys must miss me okays?.. ((:went out to meet :D for awhile.i love my sweets to bitssss. ((:bought food for him, he ate his lunch, bought screen protector for his hp, bought hp casing for my daddy. ((:i feel so good today. cause i know i'm a good girl!.. -lols-
i'll miss :D so much. 4 days of not talking, not seeing, few sms-es.i'll die luhs okays. i miss him so so so much already.will i cry to sleep?.. i hope not. :D i love you loads!..
2006-12-24 20:00:00 HAPPY 2nd ANNIVERSARY BABY!..
i miss her. but there's nothing i can do to salvage it anymore.i've done whatever i could. -sighs-the festive seasons without her. it will really suck.i still love her alot. i miss her soooooo much.
:D, happy 2 years anniversary!..even though we quarrelled already. cause of stupid stuff.i still love you loads. sighs. just hope we two can understand each other more bahs.it just seems like we both belong to different worlds.we both are looking for different aims in life.but whatever it is, i won't give up till the last minute.i don't care what others say of me by sticking to you.i love you & that's that.
2006-12-30 10:18:00 i seriously love hate guys!..when i say i'm attached, of cause it is true luhs!..wtf you mean by saying don't lie blahh blahh.& if i don't wanna give my number means i don't wanna give my number!..& it's not me who didn't want to prove to you guys okays.i called :D. i called his sis asking her to ask him to call me.but he fcuking didn't!.. LEAVING ME IN THE LURCH.fcuk to hell you bastard. i hate you seriously.you are making me hate you so much i don't love you anymore.2 weeks. for what fcuk luhs okays.you don't even care, don't even love.your mei is more impt. your games are more impt.what else you want!?..i rather get a guy who will treat me as the most impt luhs okays.fcuk to hell. go rot in hell.i saw this real real sweet guy on the train.he actually bought chocs & flowers for a girl.not being afraid of carrying them in public!..when the girl boarded, i knew, it was to say SORRY.because the girl was fuming mad that she shouted at him for being 5MINS late!..so FCUK okay
2007-01-01 08:21:00 I Am @ Youth.SGit's a New Year, it's a brand new start.i know some of my blog readers don't know me well yet.so i shall start by intro-ing myself?..this is in conjuction with the I Am @ Youth.SG.Firstly, my readers should need to know my name BUT know what i prefer to be called by.CHERYL yap wen rong is my full name. but i prefer to be called xueer.Secondly, you guys should know that i'm freaking 18 & i'm not 15 or 16!..& i'm actually legal to watch m18 shows not to say NC16!..okays, what is i am @ youth.sg all about?..it's a contest in which they choose blogs which are more popular, & why am i chosen, i seriously have no idea at all.you blog & link it up to them, & tada. it's all done. ((:seriously speaking, blogging changed my life since i started blogging in 2004. i started a blog to write down my thoughts & life.but soon, some people whom i used to dislike actually started a blog too & started copying as usual.i MIA-ed for a period. but that didn't help matters
2007-01-13 06:28:00 i've nothing nice to blog. just all the sadness is in me.the hurdle i went through last night. will never be forgotten at all.and the worst part is i knew of some stuff. which i hate to know at all.fcuk it-
i already said to you many times. i dont mean anything.fcuking let me go. stop holding on to me.because i'll prove to you that there are guys who will treat me 100times better then you.
i feel so foolish now. why did i spend all those on you.why did i do so much.that now i must regret till like that.seriously i don't see a point.
LOVE HURTS. period.
2007-01-13 15:36:00 i'm home. tired. sad. drained.i tried to be sooooo brave. but i broke down once. )):sorry dears. i love you girls so much. muackies.thanks for being here. listening. just acc-ing me.even though it's a short period. i appreciate it.*hugs, loves*to this really special & important person in my heart ;i really don't know what to do anymore.i wanna give up. yes i do. but i don't know how.if you want, you can be the one giving up on me.as long as you're happy bahs. i seriously don't know.how long i can be so brave already. sighs.love seriously hurts. but the memories we have.i treasure them loadssss. the nights with you.are the best memories ever. ((:i'm gonna put a smile on my face, and tell the whole wide world.i'm a happy little girl!..
2007-01-14 03:46:00 just woke up from my sleep. it's 10.45 now. i'm such a pig!.. )):talked to :D from 3.15 to about 5. was tired.we both were falling asleep on each other. this just reminds me of sweet nights.-sighs-talked to lots of people. found out lots of stuff.heard lots of stuff. i wonder how is it gonna turn out later.i'm scared, worried, afraid.i really don't know anymore. i seem to be sooo blinded by his love.the love he used to shower on me. -sighs-i remember before we were together, other guys only gave me med when i was sick.:D?.. he actually cut them up into 4 pieces for me cause he knew.he knew i could not swallow the pills. that was seriously the second sweetest thing ever.the first was that fateful night. he actually hugged me when i felt so cold.that really melted my heart. it was soooo sweet. -sighs-how i wish those happy memories could come back again.i miss :D. i miss being happy with him. i miss those crazy times with him.i miss the period before 010105. that fateful night just c
2007-01-14 19:30:00 i miss him lots. though i just saw him. as in.i met him on sun right?!.. yes i did.i miss him lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots.i asked him this.'in your eyes, you still think that i am your perfect girl right.'and he said yes.but everytime when i'm about to be one.things always happen. it's either guys talk to me or quarrels will come out.or girls.so in other words. since i don't know how long ago.he hasn't seen my real self. cause i'm always constantly sad.but i must embrace myself. & tell myself.even if he has another girl. she's worst then me.i'm wayyyyyy better then her.& he'll be back.cause i know i'll wait. don't call me dumb.dumb = love. ((:yes i'm sad. but i can still put a smile on my face.that is if i want to. & if i want to wear a mask.don't expect me to be truly happy.that will never happen to cheryl yap again.cause the heart is broken. ))::D i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you lots.i won't stop loving you no matter what.
2007-01-14 16:29:00 i'm willing to give you up now.but i don't want you to ever stop me from loving you.it will really take lots of time & courage to do that.& you know. i can't do it.for i still love you alotttttt.i really want to see you happy. to see you smile.i want to be the girl you point to and say that's her.i want to be the girl you smile when you meet.but i guess i just can't do it. -sighs-i hate myself for being so dumb.nor even being able to love & treat you well.& to jason & bastard.stop quarrelling whatever fcuk.NO MEANS NO. stop it right now.i won't ever fall for you two. so period.
2007-01-16 14:18:00 we met. i cried. we laughed. we had fun. we were sad.talked about it. asked whatever i wanted.there's one more to ask.i'll ask it tomorrow.:D, thanks for everything. i promise you i'll take care.i'm still here for you. don't worry.don't feel so bad for hurting me okays?..i told you what i told her is just to make you two get together.it isn't what i feel.i'm waiting for you. i'm loving you as much.yes i am. but i wanna see you happy.okays?.. -loves-i'll miss the hugs, kisses & the love.& I LOVE YOU. ((:even though you know how i'm really feeling but.....i know i can be strong.you want me to be strong too.yes?.. just know that i love you.& if she ever hurts you, i'm still here. ((:
2007-01-17 03:15:00 I really wish you'll disappear from our lives. You'll just leave us alone.And instead of keep saying you wanna give up.On the other hand, you're getting closer and closer. It really hurts me more.I already feel so hurt yet I have to appear happy.I don't deny that I really wish to hate you.But I can't do that. Sighs.
I really want him Seriously he's my everything. He's the love of my life.I never thought of leaving him this whole period of us being together.But you?.. At this stage you still say you know your feelings will fade.How I wish I don't have to give up.
I hate myself for doing this. I so wish I don't exist at all.You seriously make me hurt and sad. I don't feel it's his fault.I feel it's you and me. Sighs.How I wish I can love him forever. I really really love him.I don't wanna give up. I don't wanna let you have him.If only I scolded you. Sighs.
I love IGNATIUS!..
2007-01-16 23:50:00 sadness is in me. there's nothing but sadness.but how i wish, today will never come.yesterday meeting up was so niceeeeee.i really need you de. -sighs-i don't want it to end. at all.i want it to be you & me.to be happy & i wish it was just me. )):i'll never be the same me anymore.the hurts, scars and pain you're putting me through.i know i said i can't promise.nowwww, i know it's impossible to promise you girl.for i love him too much.i'll never be the same even if adrain, ada & julie is here for me.what i really want is :D. he is the one.the one i wanttttttttttttttttt.sighs. how i wish 3rd parties never happen. fcukit-
2007-01-17 23:58:00 it's overrrrrr. )):but i'm fine people. really.don't worry about me. esp :D. hao mahs?..& yes, each time a guy says he likes me,i'm sadder. because i know.another heart is gonna be broken cause of me.so please, jianxiong, jason & jl.stop it liaos. i know that your can't give up so easily.but try please?..i'll wait for :D, till he tells me he doesn't need me anymore.i won't be with other guys de. sorryyyyyyy.:D, i really really miss you.take care okays?.. *hugs,muacks*i'll meet up with you more after i stop work at this damn fcuking place. ((:and remember what you told me ohs,you'll still wear them ((: i hold you to your words honey.thanks for everything for this two years.i really treasure them. *lovesssss*ada, julie, adrian, raiha, annice, sandy and everyone who has been here.thanks. even though the last two names mentioned have been neglected by me.thanks for showing care.and i already say. i don't need lots of friends.i just need a bundle who cares. ((:i'm gonna be :
2007-01-18 12:52:00 i managed to reach home safely. thanks to those who tried to cheer me up & everything.but seriously speaking, nothing can ever cheer me up again.sorry to those i've hurt in the midst, those whom i've disappointed.is it true that when you just broke that you realise lots of stuff?..i saw that girl again, she scolded me a bytch again. just cause i'm thinner & prettier doesn't mean i'm a bytch okays.i saw that guy again. this time he tried to shelter me with an umbrella cause it was drizzling & i had no umbrella.just no energy to carry anything extra.there were 2 girls crying on the train. one quarreling with bf.the other the guy said he wanted to break and he got out of the station.at tampines, i heard a guy quarrelling with his gf.pls people, treasure your love ones. treat your gf bf better. pls.you'll regret de. just like me.saw my ex & friends on the bus. he gave up his sit for me.cause he saw me so pale. thanks.they got off at my stop cause they were all worried about my sa
2007-01-18 16:55:00 i'm addicted to an jing. i've been singing it non-stop.i know the truth. i hope you two will be happy. ((:take good care please the both of you.*hugs :D*
i really love you. but wells.never mind. wait till i'm really the old me.then i'll do stuff to get you back. ((:i wanna make sure i can make you happy.if not i won't ask you back de. okays?..
i'm gonna be fine. ((:
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