Owner: The B-Movie Catechism URL:http://b-moviecat.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Tue, 26 Jun 2007 20:00:15 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: One man's desperate attempt to reconcile his love of his Catholic faith with his passion for really, really bad movies. Site statistics:Click here
PRINCE OF DARKNESS 2008-01-23 00:35:01 THE TAGLINE "Before man walked the earth... it slept for centuries. It is evil. It is real. It is awakening." THE PLOT Having been summoned to a long abandoned church in downtown Los Angeles by Father Loomis (played by the perpetually nervous Donald Pleasance), Prof. Birack and an assortment of graduate students are asked to investigate the origins of a mysterious cylinder of glowing green goo and a tome of indeterminate age written in an unknown language. It isn't long before strange things begin to happen as hordes of insects and worms appear, zombie-like homeless people gather outside the church, and the occupants within begin to experience a disturbing shared dream. Tensions mount as the cylinder is analyzed, the book is deciphered, and the meaning of the dream be
INTERMISSION: ABOMINABLE SNOWMEN 2008-01-21 12:01:37 As I was just reminded by D. G. D. Davidson, The Sci-Fi Catholic, I once again completely forgot about the film club THAT I STARTED. That probably doesn't bode well for the film club as a lasting feature here, but we'll see. Anyway, once again, those still interested in having a paragraph or two included in the film club review of the Vincent Price classic House On Haunted Hill, feel free to leave a comment in the combox, drop me an email at eegahinc@gmail.com with your review, or just send a link to your post sometime over the next couple of days. My excuse this time. Snow! It's impossible to explain to those of you who don't live south of Tennessee the extent to which apocalyptic zeal seizes this part of the country when white stuff begins falling from the sky. How much did we get
FIRST CLOVERFIELD MONSTER SIGHTING 2008-01-17 08:01:40 Here it is, here it is! Okay, I can't really back that up, but wouldn't it have been cool if this really were the case?
SHORT FEATURE: PRINCES IN AGONY 2008-01-11 23:26:57 Just in case you don't recognize these little ditties, this is the song Agony and its reprise from the Broadway production of Into The Woods. If you don't know the play, don't worry, it won't take long to recognize these are the fabled Charming brothers singing of their princely woes. Also perfectly obvious is what's wrong with these idiots. But since I've had the audacity to include the word catechism in my blog title, it's probably a good idea to include something from The Catechism to further clarify things. "The chaste person maintains the integrity of the powers of life and love placed in him. This integrity ensures the unity of the person; it is opposed to any behavior that would impair it. It tolerates neither a double life nor duplicity in speech. Chastity includes an a
COMING ATTRACTIONS: PRINCE OF DARKNESS 2008-01-10 15:28:05 Dark conspiracies in the Catholic Church? Quantum physics? Alice Cooper as a zombie? Donald Pleasence as a crazy priest? What took us so long to get to this film? Our low budget John Carpenter film fest continues with 1987's Prince of Darkness.
SHORT FEATURE: MAMA LOOK A BOO BOO 2008-03-14 14:47:45 In 1956 Trinadad born musician Lord Melody wrote a little diddy called Mama Look a Boo Boo, a song subsequently recorded by Harry Belafonte and also, inexplicably, actor Robert Mitchum. Here's the "King of Calypso" (years before he went bonkers) singing the tune on The Nat King Cole Show. Why show it here? Well, aside from the freakish way Belafonte twitches and jerks, the song itself is about some children so disgusted by their father's hideous physical appearance that their attitude over it drives the man to beat them. Now that's exploitative B-movie fodder if I've ever heard any. (And if the Sci-Fi Channel refused to show it, Lifetime certainly would.) You know, it's hard to imagine someone getting away with lyrics like these today. "I couldn't even digest me supper -
OUTTAKES 2008-03-24 19:49:33 For those of you who get the above reference, please pray for my immortal soul. (I'm not right in the head, I know.) The shaky start to my sophomore year on this blog continues due to a number of personal difficulties. (Which could use a prayer or two also, now that I think of it.) I'll get my act together soon, but until then, there's always room for more cartoons...
OUTTAKES 2008-03-29 16:29:38 Alright. I'm about sick of being sick. Another four days down the drain doped up on antihistamines, unable to form a coherent thought, and falling hopelessly behind in work and blogging. What would Benny Hinn and the rest of those boys say?
REOPENING SOON 2008-04-08 23:00:27 Due to some sudden pressing personal business which had to be attended to out there in the non-celluloid world, I've kind of let things around here go to pot for a couple of weeks. However, life has now settled to an acceptable level of chaos and the ticket booth should reopen in the next day or so. Thanks for your patience.
RAT PFINK A BOO BOO 2008-04-12 10:21:35 THE TAGLINE "Thrills! Music! Laughs! Filmed in RegularScope Black and White!" THE PLOT After chasing the aging prostitute Irma La Streetwalker all over town just to steal her purse, the maniacally cackling Chain Gang decides to choose its next victim at random from the phone book. As luck would have it, the fickle finger of fate lands on Cee Bee Beaumont, girlfriend to world famous rocker Lonnie Lord. After menacing Cee Bee for a few hours, the Chain Gang finally kidnaps her, punching her gardener Titus in the face in the process. Lonnie and Titus, unable to meet the ransom demands in a timely manner, instead change into their alter-egos, Rat Pfink and Boo Boo, and pursue the villains into a neighbor's backyard. After a round of fisticuffs takes care of one of the bad guys,
COMING ATTRACTIONS: CARNIVAL OF SOULS 2008-04-13 07:57:57 Now that we're up and running again it's time to take care of some reader requests. Let's start with one of my favorites, the 1962 cult classic Carnival Of Souls. And just in case there's some confusion, yes, there was a 1998 (alleged) remake produced by Wes Craven whose description begins "A young girl witnesses the brutal rape and murder of her mother by a circus clown..." This is not that film.
SHORT FEATURE: THE KARNIVAL KID 2008-04-14 23:40:36 Our short feature this time around is 1929's The Karnival Kid in which Minnie Mouse plays a "shimmy dancer" and Mickey Mouse speaks his very first onscreen words right before spanking his wiener. What? That's exactly what happens! Watch it yourself and see. ********** 7 MINUTES AND 40 SECONDS LATER ********** See, I told you so. Whaaaat? Everything I said happens in the cartoon is 100% accurate. Is it my fault you took it the wrong way? Okay, yeah, it probably was. According to the Catechism "A lie consists in speaking a falsehood with the intention of deceiving... To lie is to speak or act against the truth in order to lead someone into error." It's highly likely that to "act against the truth" includes the concept of "underdisclosure", which is
INTERMISSION: ME ME MEME 2008-04-17 13:42:39 So, I just reopen the doors and I'm already taking an intermission? Sure, why not, especially since our old pal Archistrategos over at Ecce Ego, Quia Vocasti Me has decided to tag me with another meme. This one appears to be one of those "get to know me" type of things, which is kind of funny considering I use an alias. (Sort of. Mwa Ha Ha!) But, let's give it a shot anyway and see if I can stay in character while giving honest answers. WHAT WAS I DOING 10 YEARS AGO? In April of 1998 Netflix went into business with a whopping 900 titles. I couldn't have cared less, though, because I was still going to the movies at that time and I was getting really psyched for the release of the American version of Godzilla coming out in May. Come on, those adds were really cool.
SHAMELESS PROMOTION 2008-04-22 00:00:54 I hope everyone will forgive me if I drop slightly out of character for a moment and offer a bit of shameless promotion for an old friend. A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of attending Brent Cash's stateside album release party and snagging a freshly minted copy of How Will I Know If I'm Awake. I'm just getting around to mentioning it because, friend or no friend, I wanted to give the disc a few spins (and, yeah, I'm talking about vinyl on a turntable) before I recommended it. So now, with a clear conscience, I can honestly say... holy crap, is this good! I know, given the fact that this blog caters to the rubber monster suit crowd, that a lushly orchestrated Burt Bacharach style pop album might not appeal to everyone's taste. But if you are at all a fan of pop music and Read more:PROMOTION
OUTTAKES 2008-04-23 21:19:40 The Catholic Frog (Notaden Bennetti) is a yellow or greenish Australian myobatrachid about 4 cm (1.5 inches) long. It was named for the dark, cross-like pattern on its back. - Encyclopedia Britannica
I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU! 2008-04-24 15:59:15 A big welcome to everybody dropping by via The Curt Jester and The Hermeneutic of Continuity. My thanks to Jeff and Fr. Tim for the kind words. For those of you who don't immediately run screaming back the way you came, wondering what form of temporary insanity caused Jeff and Fr. Tim to send you here, I hope you enjoy the show. If these kinds of movies are your thing and you've got one you'd like to see me take a shot at reviewing, I happily take requests. That being said, I am an abysmally slow blogger, managing 2-3 reviews a month, so it may take a few weeks (or five) to get to your favorite. Anyway, admissions free, so I hope to see a lot of you again soon.
SHORT FEATURE: CINDY GOES TO A PARTY 2008-04-27 23:15:45 So, why am I giving you a second short before our feature presentation of Carnival of Souls? The first reason is obvious... I'm buying more time to write the review. The second reason is that Herk Harvey, director of Carnival of Souls, turns out to have also helmed over 400 educational and industrial films throughout the 50s and 60s. You MSTies out there may remember Mike and The Bots take on Herk's expressionistic classic Cheating. Cindy Goes To A Party isn't quite so sturm und drang as it tells the lighthearted story of a little girl upset over not receiving an invitation to a friend's soiree. The night before the party Cindy's fairy godmother, apparently channeling Bjork, appears to inform her she will indeed receive an invitation, but only if she stops being such an uncouth slob and
CARNIVAL OF SOULS 2008-05-09 23:53:16 THE TAGLINE: "A new wave picture you cannot forget! A sensation about a new dimension!" THE PLOT: Emerging from a river following a terrible car accident which claimed the lives of all of her friends, Mary Henry decides to hurriedly leave town and accept a job as a church organist in Salt Lake City. Just short of her destination, Mary first begins to see visions of a ghoulish man leering at her through the car window, and then spots an abandoned pavilion off in the distance to which she feels oddly drawn. Continuing on to her new home, Mary does her best to settle into her new life, but can't escape the cold feelings of isolation and detachment which have eaten away at her since the accident. Her efforts to return to normalcy aren't made any easier due to the lecherou
COMING ATTRACTIONS: SEX MADNESS 2008-05-10 21:57:37 Yes, you're at the right blog. No, there's been no sudden startling changes in my personal beliefs. Yes, I'm absolutely bringing you... SEXXXXXX MADNESSSS!Actually, this little gem is from the same folks who gave you Reefer Madness. There's no real trailer available, but I threw together the introduction and one of the more, um... dramatic scenes to give you an idea of what the movie has in store.
WEEKLY NEWSREEL 2008-05-12 22:47:00 Good evening Mr. & Mrs. Catholic, and all you other Christians at sea. Welcome to the Weekly Newsreel version 3.0. Third time's the charm we've heard it said, so perhaps this format will last longer than the previous two incarnations. This time around we plan to bring you what all good newsreels should, which is... newsreels. (Startling, I know.) So, in honor of this week's (or two weeks or ho
OUTTAKES 2008-05-15 22:28:50 Ba dum dum! That's the joke folks! Oh well, anybody coming to this blog looking for subtle humor must not have been here before. May 15th is the feast day for St. Isidore (who looks strikingly like John Saxon in this portrait) so be sure to say a prayer for farmers, day laborers, Madrid, and the United States National Rural Life Conference.
SHORT FEATURE: STOP THE MADNESS 2008-05-18 23:07:43 Yeah, we've had a few laughs over the past few weeks at the expense of goofy educational films from the early 20th century. Yet how canst we say to our older brothers, Brothers, let us pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when we ourselves beholdest not the beam that is in our own eye? Which is a nice King James way of saying that while those guys way back then were kind of nutty, in th
INTERMISSION: DRACULA CHA-CHA-CHA 2008-05-25 17:41:05 Click Here For The MP3 file of Dracula Cha Cha Cha and if you like that album cover, there's plenty more where that came from at LP Cover Lover.What movie theater worth its salted popcorn doesn't play music in the auditoriums in between shows? Well, we're no different around here although, as might be expected, the choice in tunes is not quite the same as you'll hear over at your local metropl
SEX MADNESS 2008-06-04 00:03:42 THE TAGLINE "She sought big thrills... and caught big trouble! A country girl finds the crimson road." THE PLOT Paul Lorenz, son of the local anti-syphilis crusader, and a group of his pals head out to the Glorified Burlesque to catch a girlie show. Also attending are Peggy, Betty, and an unnamed child molester. Excited by what they've seen at the show, the lesbian Peggy bullies th
COMING ATTRACTIONS: ATOR: THE FIGHTING EAGLE 2008-06-04 14:37:33 Back on January 31 fo this year, I made a promise to Mr. WAC from Fish In A Barrel to review Ator. The only problem is that the DVD was on the dreaded Long Wait list at Netflix. Four months later, guess what finally came in? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! Can someone please explain to me how there could be such an enormous backlog of people so anxious to see Miles O'Keefe in a loincloth that it took f
SHORT FEATURE: SCANDAL - THE WARRIOR 2008-06-06 23:48:04 Watching the trailer for Ator: The Fighting Eagle, I have to say there's one thing that really sticks out. And I mean LITERALLY sticks out. I'm talking about, of course, that great mass of teased and sprayed glory that is Miles O'Keefe's hair. It's a thing of wonder. But that's how we liked our savages and barbarians in the 1980s, with a giant sword in one hand and a huge can of Aqua Net in the
OUTTAKES 2008-06-16 23:19:12 This week’s exercise in bad taste was brought to you by clips taken from 1970’s The Double Garden, better known in the U.S. as The Revenge of Dr. X, with some last minute assistance from the Santa Ana Journal Cooking School of 1935. Please leave all complaints in the comments box.
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