farts

All this hype over the Olympics has me cringing like a homophobe at a Gay Pride Parade. But, thankfully there are some events that can be more enjoyable because of little girls lip synching krappy songs, female volleyball players (and the political figureheads who slap their butts), the amount of epic fail recorded for history's sake to laugh at. And of course, farting athletes. I wonder who the

Some days you just contemplate all the evil cack in the world. Today, I've been jaded & misanthropic, looking for things to be offended by.These moods descend upon us all, like headaches or sudden violent wind.Money is a worry. I mean, I have some, but now I worry about it more. This afternoon I took five pounds out of my wallet and asked after its mental health. The silence could be describ

This is something weird. Did you read that? Cow farts are collected in plastic tank’s for global warming study. WTF is happening to these people on earth. Not actually the people but these senseless scientists/researchers. They say that due to the slow digestion that takes place in cows, makes the cow to produce methane [...]

Dedicated to Andrew Lau, Stim Gooi and Jimmy Tong...For their astounding/magnificent farting skills that rocked my world.Hellish Farts for the Malaysian MindNow that you've mentioned, it's not only killing your mind, but also your nostrils - Which will then lead to your hair, then your ears, you'd probably feel someone stepping on your balls.Let's categorize FARTS.Sick farts.Dirt-cheap farts.Vulga

Tim Russert Farts On Television: American journalist Tim Russert farted while on air during "White House With David Gregory". Click the link for the video.Sorry to be such 5 year-olds here, but yesterday during Race for the White House With David Gregory on MSNBC, Tim Russert farted, rather loudly, on the air. We re-winded the moment about 25 times to make sure we weren’t hallucinating, and sure

PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTT!!!!!!Fart is an English language vulgarism most commonly used in reference to flatulence. The word "fart" is generally considered unsuitable in a formal environment by modern English speakers, and it may be considered vulgar or offensive in some situations. Fart can be used as a noun or a verb.[1] The immediate roots are in the Middle English words "ferten", or "farten"; which is akin to the Old High German word "ferzan" meaning 'to break wind'. Other roots lie in old Norse, Greek and Sanskrit. The word "fart" has been incorporated into the colloquial and technical speech of a number of occupations, including computing. Fart is sometimes used as a nonspecific derogatory epithet, often to refer to 'an irritating or foolish person', and potentially an elderly person,

Does any other bodily function carry so many conflicting emotions as farting? A fart can be funny, gross, respected for its powerful sound and stench or unnoticed completely. To better understand this phenomenon, one must first understand the fart itself. I've spent quite a number of years perfecting the art of the fart and as such, I feel qualified to offer the following explanation: There are

I now that moving can be traumatizing for pets and have done the best I can to help Minou adjust to her new home.I gave her a tour of her new litter box and its location.I showed her where her food and water dishes now reside and take special care in making sure the water is changed and full each morning and night, and that her kibble is refreshed each morning.However, I didn't think to clarify that the food bowls placed in the kitchen sink are for cleaning, not eating.My bad.I couldn't stop laughing when I found her in the kitchen sink. I just hope she doesn't like the taste of the palmolive... that could prove messy.

So, you are at a cafe with your two-year old - who is sitting, quietly and sweetly, sipping the warm milk that she refers to as "coffee' - when she blows a loud, ripply fart. Oh! she exclaims. I make a noise out my bum! And you laugh. And she asks, quite reasonably, under the circumstances: that funny? And you say, no, sweetie. Just say 'excuse me,' please, when you make noises from your

Does any other bodily function carry so many conflicting emotions as farting? A fart can be funny, gross, respected for its powerful sound and stench or unnoticed completely. To better understand this phenomenon, one must first understand the fart itself. I've spent quite a number of years perfecting the art of the fart and as such, I feel qualified to offer the following explanation: There are

(As seen on metro.co.uk )According to scientists, the environment has another chance with kangaroo's gas emitions.Studies show that their farts are fighting global warming. Thanks to a special bacteria in their stomachs, kangaroos do not emit harmful methane gas when they let off a stinker. Australian scientists are now planning to transfer that bacteria into cows and sheep to make their flatulence eco-friendly.

I had no idea that I had touched a raw nerve, when I castigated the Chelsea faithful for the lack of contribution to the cause during the humiliating defeat by Croatia at Wembley yesterday in my article entitiled I blame Chelsea for England defeat. There was much banter and the Gooners gave as good as we got. Let me make it quite clear, we are proud supporters of a big Club. Now Chelsea fans call themselves a big club, why? This is usually the cliche applied to a club that has a large fan base and lots of history and trophies.Ok lets deal in more historical facts. and see how big this club is… Chelsea founded 1905 , when the Woolwich Arsenal had already been up and running for 20 years. Chelsea live in the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea, and love to give the impression that they have links with Royal patronage, well this was a pub team ok, the pub was The Rising Sun, now the Butchers Hook on the Fulham Road. We were originally the Royal Arsenal, you Chav dimwi

Special Emergency Update: Lady turtle farted just moments before guests arrived for game night tonight. We believe that they were unable to smell the fart, but it is a distinct possibility that we are only fooling ourselves. While our guests do possess the compassion necessary to abstain from commenting on the offensive act, a more realistic scenario is that the fart was undetectable over the smell of cat pee that presently permeates our home. We'll bring you more on this story as we receive more details. Until then, please join me in praying that such an embarrassing thing never disgraces our home again.

What do you buy the cat lover who has everything? Why, a voucher to carbon neutral your cats farts of course. For just $8 you can offset your cats contribution to global warming through their food, trips to the vet…and of course their farting. Cats must fart a lot less than dogs, thank god! For a dog it is $35…that is a lot of wind!

I found this article the other day while checking out college humor. Check out some of my favorite Different Types of Farts: The Fat Girl Fart: Usually accidental and embarrassing, the FGF is nonetheless incredibly foul and hilarious. One of the few phenomena in the world that can actually make a fat girl less attractive. Sounds Like: Thrrrrribap! Bap! Typically Heard During: Roughhousing/Physical Exertion. Tickle fights, Indian leg wrestling, energetic sex… Why are you looking at me like that? Dude, I just heard that somewhere, seriously. Oh fu*k you, man… The Revenge Fart: Generally known only in male circles, the RF is a fantastic way to fulfill your oath of vengeance for various sleights against you. Be warned, however: what goes around comes around, and the RF may be cruelly discussed in front of prospective mates. Sounds Like: Pssssst. Typically Heard During: Long car rides in cold weather. Once released, the RF becomes a viscous-yet-oddly free-floating ethereal substance t

New Glade Product Makes Your Farts Smell Flower Fresh New Glade Product Makes Your Farts Smell Flower Fresh - VideoIf you have those nasty smelly farts...now you can be assured that when you have to 'let it out' those farts can smell fresh as flowers. Never offend again. Watch the below video about this new Glade Fart Fresh Producthttp://hey-whatsupwiththat.blogspot.com/

Diet is going pretty well. I'm surprised by how tasty most of the Nutrisystem meals have been although I hated the banana spice muffins and the veggie sloppy joe was just okay. The chicken salad and tacos rock! The worst part of my diet is the toxic butt syndrome I'm getting from the food stinks! Pun intended. I don't know if it's from all the fiber or what but the gas that is leaking from my butt could kill a small country. It's so bad that my kids who normally think it's funny when mommy farts asked me to refrain from farting while reading books before bed. I tried to hold them in but I had to let a few SBD's leak out and then I played dumb. It was not easy saying "I don't smell anything" with a straight face when my nostrils are on fire and my eyes are watering. Poor things!Oh, okay I have a confession. I just can't lie to my dear blogging friends. I have been cheating! Started with the bag of mini Oreo's. I counted out the nine I could have for 130 calories. I swear they

What I think: I know that I lowered the tone with the last post, and I felt it appropriate to keep it a bit low on this occasion as well. I don't want to shock you all by suddenly writing an intellectually highbrow post after the last one. I think I should do things a bit gradually. I have your best interests at heart. I care about your emotional well-being, you see. When one first starts to

Meet Ohio Comedian..Josh Sneeds.. I found out about him on Myspace.com... He is one of my Myspace Friends on our profile... Well....He was on Comedy Central... and did a Comic act about Farting on Jessica Simpson... What I want to know... Josh...Is this a True Story??? You can Visit Josh Sneeds at his Myspace Page... See other Videos ...