drunk

Mike Gilbert, a former memorabilia dealer and money-laundering partner of O.J. Simpson, is releasing a tell-all book Monday (above) where he outlines how he helped O.J. beat the murder rap. He also drops the bomb that Orange Juice got hammered and confessed to killing his wife. Damn, and here I thought I was the only one who drunkenly admits to be Nicole Brown's real killer. Now what will I tell

Bai Ling is the queen of the nipples-slip but here she is just going all out with some topless photos. This chick might just have the largest nipples on Earth, look at those things. Someone could lose an eye with those things around. And she does like to show off those huge nips like a [...]

Vidya Balan gets drunk and insults fellow guestsIt has been reported in the Indian media that popular Bollywood actress Vidya Balan made a mockery of herself at a party in London last week.The actress is rumoured to have got drunk and then insulted fellow party goers. One has to keep in mind that Vidya is not usually like this and, because of the excessive drinking, could have lost her senses. Vidya will soon be seen on-screen opposite hot actor Shahid Kapur in Kismet Konnection.Technorati Tags: Vidya Balan gets drunk and insults fellow guestsDel.Icio.Us Tags: Vidya Balan gets drunk and insults fellow guests

                                    This a sculpture from the Louvre and is called Hermes a la sandale. It is a Roman replica by Lysippus of a Greek piece now lost. It is of Hermes, tying his sandal while listening to his father Zeus. The head is too small for the body and the tree stump under the leg is not [...]

Before the manufacturing base took a hit, it was not uncommon for Johnny Lunchbox to take a hit of his own from time to time from a flask kept in a flannel pocket to help alleviate the drudgery of the assembly line. After some people stumbled into deep vats and others were left with one less limb with which to raise a pint, drinking on the job became seen as dangerous, and people were encouraged to save their heavy drinking for evening television viewing with the wife and kids.Now, with the greatest danger in most workplaces being the guy whose score you just topped in “Scrabulous” giving you a sock in the jaw, people are once again seeing the benefits of a morning eye-opener followed up with a liquid lunch. According to a study by Norwich (kinda rhymes with porridge and that’s not t

I haven’t written anything about Kelly Osbourne in a while so here she is being a little bit too drunk. She can’t even stand on her own feet. Some people had to help her get to her car. I have to admit she is kind of funny being so drunk. Related posts Paris Hilton and Her [...]

Actress Lindsay Lohan is pictured in this police booking photograph released July 24, 2007. A U.S. restaurant and liquor group used a mug shot of troubled actress Lindsay Lohan on Friday to launch a national campaign against the use of new technology aimed at keeping drunks off the road.

Ok so don’t try this one at home people.  Thanks to the good folks at Bugs and Cranks, we have this video of a baby getting wasted at the game.  The description of this video states that the bottle is empty but I highly doubt that.  This baby looks really tipsy to me.  What do [...]

During my morning work break - you know, those 15 minutes you take to search through your favorite sports/celebrity/gossip/video/porn sites before hunkering down on the job until lunch - I came across two videos, both of which involved drunks falling down. First, a classic with a drunk twist, involves a guy attempting to get on a [...]

In shocking news, one of The Flint Skinny's most loyal followers was the victim of a brutal assault last night. OK, so that isn't exactly true, but he was part of the greatest story to ever come from in front of a Mexican restaurant and a cigar shop. And I read:"I was the victim of an assault last night; that was fun. I broke up a fight between a drunk kid and a bum.I was out for a friends birthday/Cinco De Mayo and there was a drunk guy at the table next to us just getting sloppy. He left about five minutes before we did, and as he was walking out he was trying to take his shirt of in the restaurant. Then, when I get outside I see him just go running at the bum, who was probably 50. There were both little so I felt it was my duty to break it up. The bum actually took the drunk kid

Actress Lindsay Lohan is pictured in this police booking photograph released July 24, 2007. A U.S. restaurant and liquor trade group used this mug shot of troubled actress Lohan on Friday to launch a national campaign against the use of new technology aimed at keeping drunks off the road. The following is a normal and [...]

Every May 5th Americans have another excuse for getting drunk. Walk down any main street USA and you will see signs proclaiming “Happy Cinco de Mayo”. All the chain restuarants have festive signs up inviting you in for some good “original” authentic Mexican “Chimichanga’s” and the bars have signs welcoming you to the Cinco de [...]

Enjoy those margaritas senioritas… but please appoint a designated driver!  Avoid not only the tragedies that result from drinking and driving, but also the DUI checkpoints.  Police will be hosting random DUI checkpoints throughout the nation to catch and deter intoxicated drivers.  On Cinco de Mayo, a lot of us who normally do not drink tequila, [...]

Last night, Christina Aguilera was at The Little Door restaurant in Hollywood. She went in there looking hot and leggy and she left looking drunk and incoherent! Can you say "SCORE" for her husband Jordan Bratman!? I bet he had some fun with her once they finally got home after he had to basically carry her out of the building! Baaaabbbyyy!Good for Jordan, because seeing that he looks like a big ugly caveman, these are the only times that Christina lets him out of his cage at home and allows him to sleep in her bed with "mama". Yep, seriously, that's how it works in their house... I once hid in the bushes of their home anthropologist style and took notes of their co-habitation for several gruling months! They've got a very strange, yet surprisingly very loving, relationship! Anyway, here'

So here we have some great pictures of Christina Aguilera leaving new nightclub Crown Bar in Hollywood, California. It seems as if the pop princess wanted to let her hair down and have a night out after the birth of her child However; looking at these images she might have gone a little too far. We [...]

Lindsay Lohan’s lawyers have blasted the USA Today newspaper over the use of the actress’ image in a drunk-driving ad. “USA Today is idiotic to run such an irresponsible advertisement suggesting that drinking and driving is some kind of American ‘tradition’ we should protect,” Lohan’s lawyer Blair Berk said in a statement. “Not identifying that this [...]

Lindsay Lohan’s lawyers have blasted the USA Today newspaper over the use of the actress’ image in a drunk-driving ad. “USA Today is idiotic to run such an irresponsible advertisement suggesting that drinking and driving is some kind of American ‘tradition’ we should protect,” Lohan’s lawyer Blair Berk said in a statement. “Not identifying that this [...]

So here we have some great pictures of Christina Aguilera leaving new nightclub Crown Bar in Hollywood, California. It seems as if the pop princess wanted to let her hair down and have a night out after the birth of her child However; looking at these images she might have gone a little too far. We [...]

New brain imaging research shows that social drinkers have decreased sensitivity in brain regions involved in detecting threats, and increased activity in brain regions involved in reward. After alcohol exposure, threat-detecting brain circuits can't tell the difference between a threatening and a non-threatening social stimulus. Working with a dozen healthy participants who drink socially, researchers used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to study activity in emotion-processing brain regions during alcohol exposure. When participants received a placebo instead of alcohol, they showed greater activity in the amygdala, insula, and parahippocampal gyrus -- brain regions involved in fear and avoidance. Alcohol also activated striatal areas of the brain that are important component

Christina Aguilera Drunk Picture Here's the new hot momma Christina Aguilera could barely walk as she had to gets the helping hand from Jordan Bratman to leave the launch party of the Crown Bar in Hollywood on Wednesday. Christina Aguilera had too many drinks? The drunk singer, looks a little shaky and dizzy needing her hubby Jordan Bratman help her to the car. Christina said recently: "When

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Posted on April 30th, 2008 10:57 amFor once, Paula Abdul may wanna own up to being plastered during American Idol. The only other excuse the kooky judge could give for critiquing a performance that had yet to take place last night - seriously, take a look at the video now - would be that she’s a moron. According to celebrity gossip source TMZ, Abdul was served at least one martini during lunch yesterday, Granted, that was hours before the show aired, but Paula isn’t the heaviest woman on the planet. We doubt her tolerance is very high.Did Paula Abdul give away the fact that American Idol is scripted with remarks about a Jason Castro performance that hadn’t taken place?

DOC OBVIOUS FINAL JEOPARDY for $20,000. Answer: Drunk drivers, most victims of alligators and bar fights. Question: Name three things that result from a reduced sense of fear brought on by drinking. [WARNING: The following sentence has been determined to be obvious beyond belief.] A new study–which no doubt cost thousands of dollars–has determined that drinking alcohol dulls the [...]

DOC OBVIOUS FINAL JEOPARDY for $20,000.Answer: Drunk drivers, most victims of alligators and bar fights.Question: Name three things that result from a reduced sense of fear brought on by drinking.[WARNING: The following sentence has been determined to be obvious beyond belief.]A new study--which no doubt cost thousands of dollars--has determined that drinking alcohol dulls the brain's ability to detect threats.Duh.U.S. researchers stated that the the study helps explain why drunk people get into bar fights and drive their cars recklessly. The researchers seemed excited that their study was the first to demonstrate alcohol's effect on the human brain as it responded to threats."You see this all the time. People get into confrontations when they are intoxicated that they probably wouldn't ge

Paula Abdul's publicist, Jeff Ballard, just sent us the following email. This is what he has to say: "Set the record straight…..Paula was NOT drunk yesterday, she did not have a martini yesterday at lunch. It was a sparkling water with lime….she DOES NOT drink……you are just repeating what TMZ had up for a few minutes earlier [...]

Pittsburgh- Just hours after saying their vows a newly wed couple gets in a fight at a hotel. Police say the fight between dentist David W. Wielechowski, 32, and his bride, Christa Vattimo, 25, got crazy at a Holiday Inn. The dentist did a used a karate-style kick with his leg to kick Christa, knocking her to the floor. She retaliated and some members of the wedding party came to the rescue only to find the new Mrs.Wielechowski to fight them. Police say she threw metal planters with plants at a few guys trying to stop the fight! The fight started on the 7th floor and ended up in the lobby where police found the drunken couple! Both were charged with simple assault, criminal mischief and disorderly conduct. The bride was also charged with public intoxication. They got married a month ago i

Drunken driving resulted in another tragedy late on Friday night when the teenaged son of the Samajwadi Party MLA from Ghazipur was arrested in Lucknow after he ran over pavement dwellers in the Hazratganj area, killing three of them and critically injuring six.Nineteen-year-old Kashif Abbas - the... [[ This is just a summary . Click on the headline for full story . Thank you - admin@masalapost.com]]

Things that are difficult to say when drunk:1. Innovative2. Preliminary3. Proliferation4. CinnamonThings that are very difficult to say when drunk:1. Specificity2. Anti-constitutionalistically3. Passive-aggressive disorder4. Transubstantiate Thinks that are downright impossible to say when drunk:1. No thanks, I'm married.2. Nope, no more booze for me!3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.7. I'm not interested in fighting you.8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.10. I must be go

How Can I describe Anzac day?? A day that defines how I think of myself as an Australian.A day that makes me immensely proud and immeasurably sad. Who else but Australians and our mad cousins, the New Zealanders, would take a disastrous defeat, military insanity and completley chaotic ineptitude and turn it into A matter of Intense National pride. who else??No one else thats who..Except possibly for the bloody Irish, because the Irish are fucking insane as well. The Irish whose blood runs thickly in my family and in a lot of Australian Families.To celebrate the defeat and the senseless slaughter that was and is Gallipoli. Is truly an Australian thing.To be proud of the fact that we are descended from convicts and from the detritus of English society is a truly Australian thing.I think

Duct tape has many uses as you’ll know from jokes that have been hammered into the ground on a certain show set in a hunting lodge and based on the premise that men are, at the end of the day, basically stupid and that this observation contains enough material to mine for an eternity. In less family-friendly venues, duct-tape is most commonly used to seal the gobs of hostages to keep them from hollering for their freedom as they’re dumped into the trunk of a Cadillac. Your more sadistic baddies will let said hostage grow a moustache first, make sure that the tape covers it, and then, once in a soundproof room, inquire “What’s that you’re trying to say? I can’t quite hear you”, before ripping it off in one cruel tug and eliciting screams from the captive. But duct-tape is n

There was a guy in a bar one night that got really drunk. I mean really, really, really drunk. When the bar closed he got up to go home. As he stumbled out the door he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk. So he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face. Well the nun was really surprised but before she could do or say anything he punched her again. This time she fell down and he stumbled over to her and kicked her in the butt. Then he picked her up and threw her into a wall. By this time the nun was pretty weak and couldn’t move. So then he stumbled over to her, put his face right next to hers and said, “Not very strong tonight, are you Batman?”

Nearly 80 Percent Of Roommates Got So Drunk Last NightStudy: Nearly 80 Percent Of Roommates Got So Drunk Last Nightfunny video (spoof news video) from the Onion News Network, awesome comedy!all clips via LOLFACTORY.BLOGSPOT.COM

"A man posing as Darth Vader attacked a Star Wars fan, who had founded a Jedi Church, a court has heard. Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, from Holyhead, Anglesey, admitted assaulting Barney Jones and cousin Michael with a metal crutch. They suffered minor injuries. "[via bbc news]

Lindsay Lohan has suffered a relapse while partying with her girlfriend in New York City. The actress, who spent several weeks in rehab during 2007, was spotted enjoying several rounds of cocktails during a night out this weekend. The 21-year-old arrived at Times Square’s Hawaiian Tropic Zone on Saturday with Samantha Ronson, who spun records for the [...]

GLOUCESTER, Mass. (AP) _ Sandra Bullock and her husband were unhurt after a head-on crash with a drunken driver, police said Saturday. The actress and her husband, Jesse James of TV’s ”Monster Garage,” were being driven in a sport-utility vehicle Friday night when a station wagon crossed the center line and hit them, said Gloucester police [...]

Jessica Simpson is becoming a drunken hot mess, its so bad that she has been hospitalize for her alcohol poisoning. I would think it was funny the girl is a lightweight in the liquor department, but tabloids are reporting she had to be taken to the hospital after a particularly heavy indulgence last month! During [...]

Sandra Bullock and her husband were unhurt after a head-on crash with a drunken driver, police said Saturday. The actress and her husband, Jesse James of TV’s “Monster Garage,” were being driven in a sport-utility vehicle Friday night when a station wagon crossed the center line and hit them, said Gloucester police Lt. Jerry Cook. Both vehicles [...]

This guy goes to a bar that's on the tenth floor of a hotel. He sits down and has a couple of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that he has had enough, and goes over and jumps out the window. Now, there are two men who are sitting at a window table, and having [...]

Originally posted Saturday April 19, 2008 01:40 PM EDTActress Sandra Bullock and her husband, Jesse James, were hit by a drunk driver last night while riding in a private car in Gloucester, Mass., a source has learned.Bullock, who is filming The Proposal on Cape Ann, and James, of Monster Garage fame, were being driven home for the evening around 9:50 p.m. Friday when a gray Subaru station wagon jumped lanes on East Main Street and smashed into their front end, police said. No one was injured."They were shaken up, needless to say," said Gloucester Police Lt. Gerry Cook. "But they were fine – he was hugging her. Jess and Sandra were hugging. They said they were fine, they didn’t need medical attention. There were quite a few people snapping pictures of them." The two walked away from th

Actress Sandra Bullock and her husband Jesse James were involved in a non-injury accident with a drunk driver on Friday night (April 18) while out in Gloucester, Massachusetts. According to People magazine, “(Sandra and Jesse) were being driven home for the evening around 9:50 p.m. when a gray Subaru station wagon jumped lanes...

Actress Sandra Bullock and her husband, Jesse James, were hit by a drunk driver last night while riding in a private car in Gloucester, Mass., PEOPLE has learned. Bullock, who is filming The Proposal on Cape Ann, and James, of Monster Garage fame, were being driven home for the evening around 9:50 p.m. Friday when a gray Subaru station wagon jumped lanes. . Popular: 13 hours 53 minutes ago source: (www.people.com)

Yuri Lyalin, a Russian electrician, was out drinking vodka with some co-workers when an argument broke out. One of his co-workers, a watchman, ended up stabbing him in the back with a six inch kitchen. Yuri was so goddamn drunk he failed to notice the wound and passed out in the watchman’s office. When he [...]

In boxing parlance, a "tomato can" is a hand-picked schlub brought in to go a few rounds with the champ, whose odds of scoring an upset are comparable to say, Madison, Wisconsin landing the next games of the Olympiad.While these guys are technically professional fighters, at least when they're not earning a living as roofers, drywallers and doing other jobs that don't require a background check, it's not uncommon for the town drunk to take one glassy-eyed look at one of these soft around the midriff ham 'n' eggers and think to themselves, "I could take 'em"--especially if he's facing the other way and I'm swinging a barstool. It's no accident then that "punch drunk" has become part of the lexicon as we'll see in this story. A London man, on the back end of a two-day drink and co

I’m not saying that Jillian Beyor has the perfect face because she does not.  But I will see you’ve be very hard pressed to find a better body.  Seriously, I would consider it illegal to look like that in some states.  Is it possible for there to be any reaction other than slamming her to [...]

How do I handle an ex-boyfriend who calls me late at night and obviously drunk to say I was the best thing that ever happened to him? answer: By either programming your phone to recognize his number and not answering or saying “I’m not having this conversation” and hanging up. Don’t for a minute be fooled by [...]

by *ahermin marita Artist’s Comments stonedrunk: The condition of being stoned and drunk at the same time. as in : “I had a mickey of Vodka and did some bong rips, it got me really stonedrunk.” (urbandictionary.com) “Daddy can you hear me In your bar room in the sky? Well I sometimes get to wondering if’n I’m a lot like him I guess I’m closest to [...]

Perhaps Diddy’s plan to create a  celebrity chauffer service wasn’t such a bad one after all. After leaving a club last night mumbling and grumbling,  beach yogi Jeremy Piven made an attempt to drive himself home in a techno-blaring hooptie, but didn’t make it very far. Seems the services of his dealer friend were needed [...]

I wait eagerly, Imust say, to blog on the train everyday, time passes fast, I am not still comfortable with the qwerty keyboard. But anyway I am making progress, I use my thumbs to enter text, and it... This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more!

We have changed over to buying organic foods whenever we can. While I no longer worry about serving a side of pus, antibiotics, pesticides, or preservatives to my children, organic juice opens an entirely new door of uncertainty.Like most toddlers, my 2 year old Monkey Boy will leave sippy cups full of milk or juice anywhere and everywhere throughout the house. Two days later he'll come toddling into the room with the cup of nastiness. Nevermind the "ick" factor, do you know what happens to old juice with no preservatives? Homemade wine baby.So I find myself scouring the house, counting sippy cups, stalking the baby, hoping against hope that I find that fermented juice before the Monkey Butt does. Because do you know how embarassing it would be for The Nurse and the Respiratory Therapist t

Highlights from brunch with other New York City blogger girls at Roberto Passon in Hell's Kitchen (City Wendy, Charmingly Sarcastic Since 1982, DrunkBrunch, Misguided Misadventures in NYC, No Stop Til Brooklyn, Under-Employed Girl, Vulgar Truths):- $8 All-You-Can-Drink Champagne, Bellinis, Bloody Marys & Mimosas- Waking up in different neighborhoods- Sex on a [new, clean] bathroom floor in a bar- Real estate depression leading to near-suicidal thoughts- Roommates who date convicted yet reformed murderers- Stripper pros and cons- Making out across from Carrie's "Sex and the City" stoop- White boys rapping at East Village Idiot's Triviotic- Sharing photos from all my stops through Brooklyn- Bringing your kids to bars (ahem, Park Slope) not recommended [we all know the little ones can't h

Nationwide in 2005, alcohol was present in the systems of 24 percent of the drivers involved in fatal crashes (BAC .01-.07, 4 percent; BAC .08 or greater, 20 percent). According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), "A motor vehicle crash is considered to be alcohol-related if at least one driver or non-occupant (such as a pedestrian or bicyclist) involved in the crash is determined to have had a blood alcohol concentration (BAC) of .01 gram per deciliter (g/dL) or higher. Any fatality that occurs in an alcohol-related crash is considered an "alcohol-related fatality". The term "alcohol-related" does not indicate that a crash or fatality was caused by the presence of alcohol."  It is important to note that people tend to think that alcohol-related crashes ar

BUCK SINGS EVITA FOR YOU!-sings-evita-for-youHappy Game Day!How many of the top 30 did you get!WHATS YOUR FAVE?!Leave a comment!Please rate/comment/subscribe!Love, Michael “Buck”PS- i have heard of Monty Python the movies- and now it retro I have heard of TV show but never seen it!PPS- I dont know what I said about 2002- I graduated in [...]

It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn’t walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before [...]

Brevard County, Fla. (ThaLunatic Daily) -- Heather Ayers, a 29 year old Palm Beach resident has been arrested after drunk driving, crashing her car and then abandoning her injured 6 year old child at the crash site.Ayers, who was driving drunk last Tuesday hit another car causing an injury accident. Ayers' Lincoln rear ended another vehicle with such force, all 4 occupants of the Chevy Cavalier that she hit were ejected.Not wanting to be caught, Ayers left the injured party and her injured 6 year old daughter behind and fled the scene on foot.The Florida Highway Patrol called in helicopter support and was able to apprehend Ayers a short time later. Police caught her trying to climb a fence and had to use pepper spray to subdue her.Police arrested the woman and booked her into the Bre

Enjoying the bonny gray Calif. defy yesterday, Kate Bosworth went for a drive, fastening for pedal in Beverly Hills. She looked frolicky in a screen-printed cell top, bell-bottom jeans, retro-style sandals and a unify of specializer sunglasses. The “Blue Crush” actress fresh admitted that she doesn’t advert the disorderly stimulate environs she performed with co-star Jim [...]

The “Blue Crush” actress recently admitted that she doesn’t remember the wild sex scene she performed with co-star Jim Sturgess in the new flick “21” because they were both drunk.Kate told press, "We were both so drunk. Jim and I became such good friends, we decided to have a couple of drinks, loosen up and go for it."“We were on Grey Goose, I think,” “It was brilliant for about half and an hour. As we continued to drink … it just became sloppy and messy. I couldn’t stand up at one point.” - Sturgess said.

Actress Christina Ricci has criticized young stars who frequent the Hollywood party scene - insisting they all know their wild partying will be documented by the press. The Sleepy Hollow beauty... Continue to www.MadHollywood.com

Bengali bombshell Raima Sen very rarely hit the headlines for her deeds and misdeeds but this time paparazzi caught her in almost unstable situation when she was drunk heavily and lost control over herself in designer Manish Malhotra’s party. She was so heavily drunk that she failed to find her way to her car and fell down at the hotel lobby. Manish played the role of a perfect host; he and his friend guided her and held her till her chauffeur driven car arrived. Due to intake of maximum liquor, Raima failed to keep a balance and fell down. This unceremonious event was captured by a photographer who was present at the occasion. He said, “Raima was wearing a white gown and looked extremely pretty. But she did seem dazed. She was unable to stand on her feet and fell down in the hotel

Artist: Children Of BodomAlbum: BlooddrunkLabel: Nuclear Blast RecordsPlaytime: 36:49 minGenre: MetalStreet date: 2008-03-14Size: 68.88 MBType: AdvanceQuality: 248 kbps / 4410kHz / Joint Stereo01. Hellbounds On My Trail ( 4:00)02. Blooddrunk ( 4:05)03. Lobodomy ( 4:25)04. One Day You Will Cry ( 4:05)05. Smile Pretty For The Devil ( 3:54)06. Tie My Rope ( 4:14)07. Done With Everything, Die For Nothing ( 3:30)08. Banned From Heaven ( 5:04)09. Roadkill Morning ( 3:32) Code: --Cob-Bloodrunk-adv-2008.rar Code: Password: Bluereaperm

Kate Bosworth said she got drunk to film the love scenes in the movie “21″. The actress said that she became close friends with co-star Jim Sturgess and confessed they “became sloppy and messy” after consuming large amounts of vodka on set. She told People magazine: “We were both so drunk. Jim and I became such good [...]

A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."The man says, "Sorry officer I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack.""Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample.""I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death.""Well, then we need a urine sample.""I'm sorry officer I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar.""Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line.""I can't do that, officer.""Why not?""Because I'm too drunk to do that."

Tauton, Ma. (ThaLunatic Daily) -- Suleidy Lugo, a 22 year old Tauton mother has been arrested and charged with 'assault and battery with injury' after police say she beat and abused her five month old baby.Police were alerted to Lugo's alleged abuse of the child when another woman witnessed the drunk woman abusing her baby.The neighbor told police that she first noticed Lugo outside of her apartment with the child in a baby carrier. She then noted several heavy items stacked on top of the baby, including a jug of antifreeze and a video game console.When the woman tried to intervene, the woman grabbed the child by the neck and struck it's head against the hard plastic carrier.When the neighbor persisted in helping, Lugo reportedly told the woman to "Just take the bastard, I don't even w

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:A half-gallon of 2% milkA carton of eggsA quart of orange juiceA head of romaine lettuceA 2 lb. can of coffeeA 1 lb. package of baconAs I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since Iwas indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how o

For someone who has drank a lot everyday for many years, Tara Reid proves to be a pretty articulate drunk. She’s barely slurring her words on the Red Carpet of some event she’s hosting at some shitty Studio 54 club in Vegas that is some kind of novelty take on the original but probably has absolutely nothing in common with it because that’s just how lame rip offs work. I guess the sad part of this interview is that Tara Reid wishes she was old enough to party at the original Studio 54 because that was the heyday for glamorous partying and now everyone seems to be doin’ the club thing and it’s about as exclusive as Paris Hilton’s vagina, which has proven to not be very exclusive at all.I am hungover, I drank a lot for Jesus and his resurrection, while after peaking and being con

Met up with Dave last night. He reckons there's far too much political stuff creeping onto the blog. People want to see stuff about pubs he reckons. So, all in the name of research, we had a few shandies in the Eight Farmers last night. Then another couple! What would you like to see on Crewe blog? Email or post a comment...

UK (ThaLunatic Daily) -- The phrase 'those crazy Brits' have new life today. Police caught a drunk driving woman who hid the car keys in her vagina to avoid arrest.Jennifer Lowery, a 38 year old British mother of three was at twice the legal driving limit when officers confronted her outside of her vehicle. Officers were tipped to Lowery's intoxicated state when family members witnessed her stumbling into her car and driving away.Police insist she had been driving with two of her kids in the back seat while intoxicated. While she was not inside the vehicle at the time they confronted her, she was near the vehicle, which was still warm from operation. This would be a second time she has been caught driving drunk.According to police, Lowery was warned that she would be arrested if she c

While you were finalizing your bracket picks, Endless Simmer carefully evaluated the tournament field to compile this list of the tournament’s Top 10 Colleges - ranked by the drunk food they have to offer their hungry, hungry students. Eat that, U.S. News and World Report. The good news: Pitt comes in at #6, based on the monstrosity shown below, available at Fatheads (the South Side restaurant, not the Big Ben wall decoration). March Madness: America’s Top 10 Drunk College Foods [Endless Simmer]

I just heard from a friend of mine (via YM) that one of our other friends was involved in a car accident. Thank God, though, that all is well. I don't know how bad things were.. since the details weren't really clear. Was he driving under the influence?? We have no idea about that.. Well, if he was, he's lucky that he didn't hurt himself OR hurt any others. So many innocent people have been

Here’s some photos from Miss Tara Reid. How fast has she fallen? I remember those days when she was countered one of the hottest actresses in the Hollywood. Now, she’s not even a bump in someone’s radar. Of course though, I would still hammer on it. I have no shame. Hard drugs and alcohol probably [...]

Funny DUI Video -- This video is not a current release, it's actually been around for a little while, but we're going to attempt to lighten the mood on ThaLunatic with an occasional 'dumb criminal' video.This bumbling drunk certainly can't say he didn't take his lumps!Danny ViceThe Weekly Vice

1up made this list of the top 5 games to play when you’re drunk in honor of St. Patrick’s Day. 5. Breakout - Atari 2600 For some, the average Atari 2600 game loses its luster within the first 15 seconds. And while 2600 graphics are, to the sober mind, dated and blocky, to the sloshing brain the graphics [...]

For all of you who don’t know where Saskatchewan is - here is a map. Really this joke is for anybody who lives in the back-water hillbilly pig farmer areas. View Larger Map Recently, during a routine patrol, a RCMP patrolman parked down the street outside a Legion Hall just off the main Street at Estevan, [...]