I want to make a point about Sage’s lack of Geographical knowledge when he referred to Germany as being landlocked. Is the man a cretin or is he just a great pretender, a crank, a hustler, a whistle blower, a tree climber, a book reader? I mean, does Sage live in the real world? [...]
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Highlights:
“My IQ is 172 for your information. I graduated High School when I was fifteen years old.”
“I wanna be more freak than I am. So how can I ever get into it real deep?”
Keith Olbermann recently blew a gasket and deemed Katie Couric the “worst person in the world” for bringing up sexism in the media.
In response, Rachel Sklar wrote a piece about sexism at MSNBC including Keith Olberman’s remarks about having someone beat/kill Hillary Clinton in order to get her out the race.
Keith’s response? He [...]
[Download Steve-O Rap Album Now!] 1. Steve-O’s Goffy Intro 1:24 2. Hard As A Rock (Original Version) 1:17 3. People Giggled (Interlude) 1:01 4. Crack Cocaine (Feels So Good) (Original Version) 1:38 5. Discussion Begin (Interlude) 1:45 6. Poppin’ Off 1:21 7. Whoo Kid (Interlude) 3:16 8. Down With STD’s 4:21 9. I Wasnt Supposed To (Interlude) 0:47 10. Poke The Puss feat. Kool G Rap 4:04 11. St
That's right you heard me correctly. Chocolate Assholes. This is definitely one for the WTF category. Chocolate assholes, what the hell is the reasoning behind this, it' weird. This right here is a quote from the website that sells these chocolates...."For us, producing hand made chocolates is an art. The art of producing our chocolates with the utmost care, in true tradition of Belgian craftsmans
We ran across this article from the Associated Press that automatically qualifies this un-named guy as our asshole of the week!
An Australian driver who secured a carton of beer in his car with a...
NOT RECOMMENDED FOR THE OVERLY RELIGIOUS, POLITICAL OR STUPID!
Full article sourceThis fucking scum of a man reinforces the blight of many video gamers, and students the world over, that these uptight academics just can't let young people be young people.What's next, no sex after 8pm and decisions are to be made by people other than yourself?To see the devil himself, here is a picture of the asshole in question. Be sure to give him the finger.
REMEMBER: Kerry Belittles U.S. Troops
Fucking asshole Steven King insults soldiers - Yup his message board is closed
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I don’t want to sound like an ad–a public service ad on TV–but the fact is that if you can read you can walk into a job later on. If you don’t then you got the Army, Iraq, I [...]
With the amount of people we have on this planet and the declining intelligence of said populous I thought that I would try to accumulate a list or database if you might of traits, actions or aspirations that one could obtain or forgo that would label said person an Asshole. Now I know that the usage of the word Asshole is a bit derogatory and below the human standard of speech but those who are a
You’re a great guy, friendly, dependable, easy to get along with, fun to work with. Ever feel like something is missing? Maybe you want more in your life - more money, more women, more attention, and the bravado that goes along with it. There’s nothing wrong with who you are, but let’s face it, you’re [...]
According to this article, many people in south Florida who have lost their homes due to foreclosure are “getting even” by vandalizing their homes before they move out. They are stripping out plumbing, ruining the carpets, busting holes in walls, pouring roofing tar and cement into toilets, and committing many other disgusting acts of vandalism. [...]
Jay Leno is an Asshole. With a capital “A”. He’s always been an asshole, and he’ll always be an asshole. He makes me miss Johnny Carson so much, that sometimes I start cryin’ when the nightly news ends.
Now, Jay Leno has done gone and shown his assholism anew. Take a few minutes and watch what [...]
This comes via Think Progress: Transcript: CHENEY: On the security front, I think there’s a general consensus that we’ve made major progress, that the surge has worked. That’s been a major success. RADDATZ: Two-third of Americans say it’s not worth fighting. CHENEY: So? RADDATZ So? You don’t care what the American people think? CHENEY: No. I think you cannot be blown off course by the fluctuations in the public opinion polls. Man, not only is he an asshole, he's a delusional asshole as well. Of course, when you're the second lackey to a President who's approval rating is 19% and has a bunker mentality of it's us against the world, what do you expect? Others: CNN, Reuters, Washington Times, Firedoglake, World-O
That should be the real title for all board games, because seriously, it's true. I happen to be one of those a**holes too. I play to win and when I lose, I'm a sore loser don't take it very well.My favourite board games to play are Scrabble, Monopoly and Cluedo. I wonder if Boggle would be counted as a board game. I do have Scrabble, Monopoly and Cluedo at home but my sisters don't really want to play with me. Maybe due to the reason above. Besides, playing with them isn't that fun because it's not challenging for me.I would love to play these games with other competitive assholes because that would make it more interesting and, well, competitive. Everyone would be playing to win and the victory would be sweeter because then, you get to rub it in their faces. *insert maniacal evil laughter
Hold the presses bunky, we have a new and improved "Asshole of the Week" that just got himself elected and appointed. His name is Patrick Gilman.A woman who was cited for loudly cursing at her overflowing toilet - and then at a neighbour (Patrick, an off duty cop) who told her to quiet down - has been acquitted on grounds that the U.S. constitution's First Amendment protects her raunchy language. District Judge Terrence Gallagher dismissed the disorderly conduct charge against Dawn Herb, 33, ruling Thursday that she was within her rights when she let loose a string of profanities Oct. 11. Although the language she used "may be considered by some to be offensive, vulgar and imprudent ... (it is) protected speech pursuant to the First Amendment," the judge wrote. Herb was cited after Patrick Gilman, a police officer who lives near Herb, called authorities to complain. (Since this dipshit was off duty he called his buddies at the station and they charged the woman!)At a hearing Monday, G
This guy might be a bit stupid once in a while, but you have to admit he has balls. For his tenacity in the face of adversity we give this unnamed tow truck driver both the Asshole of the Week trophy and also a trophy for being "Perspectives" Hero of the Day!An Oregon tow truck driver upset over a recent ticket tried to take revenge by towing a police cruiser. Police say the 32-year-old man was arrested after he hooked his truck to the marked police vehicle while an officer was responding to a domestic disturbance call. The driver released the cruiser when another officer ordered him to, but police say he later locked the doors of his truck and refused to cooperate. The driver then called the police station, "apparently unsatisfied with the police response he had generated when he tried to tow the cruiser. The manager of the tow company was summoned and eventually coaxed the driver into surrendering. He was charged with unlawful use of a vehicle, obstructing governmental administration
Girls Aloud singer (if I can use that term) Cheryl Cole started somthing big when she called Lily Allen a chick with a dick. The Kaiser Cheifs and Beth Ditto are now defending Lily Allen and Beth called Cheryl Cole an asshole.
I wonder if Cheryl’s bandmates will start in the bitchin.
I Love Beth Ditto T-Shirt
Gossip Girl: It Had to Be You: The Gossip Girl Prequel
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So, I live on the first floor of a private house, in which each floor is rented out by the owner who has kept the second floor for himself. For the most part, it has been a rather uneventful stay at this place. In fact, it is so boring around here (and far away from shops and the train station) that I really would love to move to Brooklyn. There was an attempt earlier this year that I had to stop because my job at HBO was about to come to an end. So I am stuck here until work starts coming my way and becoming steady.Now, I don't have any problem with the landlord or the couple on the top floor. Below me however is another issue. Apparently, no one has taught the tenants downstairs that they have to show respect and consideration to everyone else who lives here. Why?Practically, every other night, for the last few weeks, they felt the need to blast their music or television at high volume mostly between the hours of midnight and 6AM. Basically, I am dealing with rude, inconsiderate and
It is with great pride and pleasure, plus a resounding fart, that we give this week's trophy to "Taser International!"YOU CAN NOW BUY ONE AS A CHRISTMAS PRESENT!!!These tasers are sold in a variety of styles and colors to civilian consumers across the U.S. The hip, chic, with it and Oh so stylish accessories come in everything from "metallic pink" to "electric Blue" and retail from $299 to $349 and can even be purchased on-line! (The Taser C2 uses the same technology as law enforcement models and has "incredible takedown power," according to the site.)The special "Taser Cam," which features a video and audio recording component for "enhanced accountability" sells for $499.(The next time I go to play paintball, I'm going to take a taser instead.) Then let's hear someone say; "ya missed," as they're flopping around on the floor! Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com
Dave And Thomas Daily Timekillers and Salma Hayek Shrine: Lori Drew - Dave and Thomas Asshole Of The Year. Meet The Mother That Drove Megan Meier To Suicide
Some people are born evil.Hitler…
…Stalin…
…Lori Drew.
At the end of the year, which is only a little bit off, we were going to name the 1st Annual Dave [...]
Well loyal readers, it wasn't really much of a contest this week. This guy took the prize without any serious competition at all.The Hindustan Times reports P. Selvakumar married the sari-draped former stray named Selvi, who was chosen by family members and then bathed and clothed for the ceremony Selvakumar told the paper he had been suffering since he stoned two dogs to death and hung their bodies from a tree 15 years ago. He said that after the stoning, he became paralyzed in his hands and legs and lost hearing in one ear. (Best man, Patches!) The paper says an astrologer had told Selvakumar the wedding was the only way he could cure the maladies. It did not say whether his situation had improved.After the wedding, the paper reports that the groom and his family sat down to a feast while the dog got a bun. WOOF!Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com
OK, this person didn't quite deserve a You Park Like an Asshole sign, but there were no cars on the other side of him! I had printed up a bunch of these signs but Doug felt they were too much so I think they "disappeared" from our glove boxes. From the looks of the hate mail this site has gotten, I guess most people overreact after receiving one (check it out for a laugh). But apparently bad parking is a pet peeve of many, including Cory Doctorow of boingboing.net. He spells out the license tags and takes no prisoners (notice I left the plate out of the picture to prevent any retribution!). Now there is also a Flickr group where you can take out your frustrations and commiserate.
No particular reason this week, he just crossed my mind and seemed like a good candidate!We will give him an "honorary" Asshole of the Week in recognition of his great body of work!Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com
Well it seems my big shit disturbance on censorship at WordPress was a big misunderstanding created by strange coincidences, an angry fanboy, unknown technical parameters and a blogger with an itchy middle-finger.
Looks like Al Gore WON'T run for President!(We need him!)Sorry Al, this is sort of a left-handed compliment!Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com
A conversation from earlier this morning. I’m on the phone with a customer who thinks “customer” means “free-for-all to try and get in my panties” who has let me know that I don’t have to treat him like a “regular” customer because he is “special”. I can be “myself” with him.
Great. It’s going to be one of those days.
Customer: “Okay, so I will be in D.C. on Sunday…”
Me: “How lovely for you. Unfortunately we are closed on Sundays so you can’t stop by the office to pick up those products you ordered.”
Customer: “I was thinking that on my way home I could stop off to see a good friend. Namely…you.”
Me: “Um, sir, did you fail local geography?! Oh wait. you’re from Jersey. I can’t hold it against you, I suppose. Or, I can and will and you can’t do anything about it.”
Customer: “What do you mean? That wasn’t nice eit
O.K. kids, can we spell hypocrite? The Asshole of the Week trophy and a loud fart go to GOP presidential candidate John McCain who says America is better off with a Christian president, and he doesn’t want a Muslim in the Oval Office.“I admire Islam. There’s a lot of good principles in it,” he said. “But I just have to say in all candor that since this nation was founded primarily on Christian principles and personally, I prefer someone I know who has a solid grounding in my faith.”(Currently America is led by a president who claims to be a Christian. He started an illegal war bases on lies, and supports extraordinary renditions, secret jails, torture, and other human rights violations. Under the guise of his ‘fight against terror’ he has taken away countless liberties that until recently were taken for granted. Is America better off with a Christian president? Perhaps. But not with a president who only talks the talk, instead of also walking the walk.)In a wide-ranging
Asshole of the week trophy and a loud fart go to Andy Dick when David Stroupe said he had one of the worst experiences with a performer in the history of the Funny Bone Comedy Club when Dick appeared there. (I remember seeing Andy Dick on a Celebrity Roast a few months ago and thinking what an asshole he was.) Stroupe, the club's managing partner, said the 41-year-old actor-comedian made inappropriate comments while on stage, groped patrons, took women into the men's room and urinated on the floor and on at least one person.A limousine driver was to meet Dick early Monday morning at a hotel near the club, Stroupe said, but he couldn't be found and missed that morning's flight to Los Angeles.Dick was across town, where he was issued a citation for urinating on the sidewalk by Columbus policeman John Fantin. Police eventually escorted Dick back to the hotel, Stroupe said.Dick's manager, Max Burgos, did not immediately respond Friday to phone and e-mail messages by The Associated Pre
I will make this short and sweet. Fox News wins this weeks "Asshole of the week"award and a loud fart for beating war drums for the invasion of Iran. Whether Fox News is being used by the Bush administration or not, other networks are shouting warnings about the American people getting sucked into another war in the Middle-East! So far they have not been able to temper Fox News and their war retoric. The last thing America needs is another Iraq. Fox News should act more responsibly. Here is a video you will find interesting. Your "live from the front" scribe;Allan W JanssenAllan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com
In McMinnville, Oregon, two little boys are off the hook.Thanks to a judge, who threw the case out.And since that is a state of hippies, I think we can count on them to throw the judge out at the next election.These two twelve year olds slapped a couple of girls on the butt.The girls most likely thought the pasty little boys pathetic and laughed.But the principal was not amused.The police were called in.And they were going to prosecute these kids as adults.Registered sex offenders for life.What is the matter with the schools?Are the principals and vice principals so incompetent they can not deal with anything?And have to call in the swat team if they see two kids holding hands?Of course, it would be nice if they concentrated on teaching them to read.But I suppose I am asking way too much.P.S.--I had a new post I was going to do, and I know the guys would all like it---it is dedicated to flag girls, especially those in short shorts.But I want to leave this one up for a bit. This is
If there’s one thing I can never be accused of, it’s being politically correct. Sure, if I was to go back and rethink some of the things I’ve said I would probably prefer that I hadn’t said them, but I’ve always been a blurt it out now, worry about it later kinda...
This award and a smelly piece of shit comes a day early because I just found out about this guy. Jack McClellan is a self-professed pedophile from Seattle. Unlike convicted sex offenders, who are required to stay away from places that cater to children, in this case the police can do next to nothing, because this man, Jack McClellan, who has had Web sites detailing how and where he likes to troll for children, appears to be doing nothing illegal.But his mere presence in Los Angeles, where he moved to a few months ago, coupled with Mr. McClellan’s commitment to exhibitionistic blogging about his thoughts on little girls — has set parents on edge. One group of mothers, whose members by and large have never met before, will soon band together in a coffee shop to hammer out plans to push lawmakers in Sacramento to legislate Mr. McClellan out of business. “Just the idea that this person could get away with what he was doing and no one could press charges has made me angry,” said Jan
Related PostsAnger ManagementWhen you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, ...Second Douche Bag Poll Off (DBPO)Last night I posted a new DBPO in our quest to find the ultimate douche bag. Following up ...A Real Arab Asshole
Apparently, a lot of young men are into the ‘metro’ thing. I call it acting gay, and I don’t mean that as in the slang version of stupid. Why someone would want to volunteer to be discriminated against and harassed is beyond me. Perhaps it is stupid.
So I got to thinking. I know that is always dangerous, but I am a risk-taker. Once I threw a glass bottle in a regular trash can. I know I know God kills a hippy every time that happens and I do wish it were lawyers that bore the brunt of his anger. But like in every essay I write, I digress.
You have this metro thing, which turns women on for some bizarre reason. I know you ladies like some sensitivity out of us men but this clearly crosses over into the realm of a lack of a backbone. I would like to believe most women still want a little bit of that tough guy/protector/rock of Gibraltar too. Maybe times have changed so much that people today have some kind of way of looking at someone and being able to say gay or metro, I don
This week, the scammer/communist we all know as Al Gore had a party for one of his[ Al Gore] offspring. The party was a wedding rehearsal for Sarah Gore, his youngest daughter and her fiance Bill Lee. Now there’s nothing wrong with having a party. However, when you’re entire life is based around global warming, protecting the environment,
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We are going to give our "Asshole of the Week" award, and a loud fart, to the second woman to win it in the last few weeks!A young woman (Bouchra El Hor) encouraged her husband to become a Muslim martyr, the Old Bailey Court in London heard. In a letter, she urged him to fight against non-believers and vowed that their baby son would follow in his footsteps.The letter was read out to the jury trying El Hor, 24, for failing to disclose information on terrorism. Her husband Yassin Nassari, 28, is charged with having documents and data on terrorism. (Note: I find it hilarious that her name is El Hor!)The couple, who had a five-month old son when they were detained in May, last year, deny the charges. Bouchra El Hor allegedly said in her letter: 'I am so proud of my husband. I am happy that Allah has granted you the chance to be a martyr. 'I am writing to let you know that you have my support and to remind you to be strong and do not let Satan influence you... to remind you that jihad is
Okay, so here goes my bitchfest.....There is this nasty,creepy,trashy, dirty ass dude that has been blowing in on one of those loud motorcycles every time I work for the past week. Just looking at him makes me throw up in my mouth. No matter what I do, he doesn't get the hint. This is the only thing I hate about my job: dealing with assholes like him. And the thing is, he is so scary, I am not to keen on the idea of pissing him off. I just deal with the bullshit, pretend to be busy, and ignore him.Okay, so I have a question for all you men:If you hit on a girl several times, and she turns you down every time, explains about her wonderful relationship, and is just trying to do her job,why the fuck would you keep trying .....?Again...and Again.....and Again..and Fucking Again..! ?Enlighten me please, because from a woman's point of view, we absolutely despise this kind of shit.
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This week's award for "Asshole of the Week" goes to Sheik Jassem Al-Mutawah for his explanation of the difference between men and women.That anyone could hold views like his goes to show that certain men in the Middle-East are still living in the twelfth century and need to be brought, (kicking and screaming) into the twenty first century.For a short video of his theories about the differences between the sexes see this clip from U-tube!Now, for all my loyal readers we have a quiz for you as well!Below is a list of 12 common everyday actions that assholes use, or as I like to refer to it, "The Dirty Dozen." Score yourself based on how frequently, or how little, you think you commit the following actions at work. 1 -- Never 2 -- Once a year 3 -- Once a month 4 -- Once a week 5 -- Daily -How often do you dish out personal insults? -How often do you invade the "personal territory" of others? -How often do you start uninvited physical contact with coworkers? -How often do
I can't reveal the former contestant of Flavor of Love who said I am "rude and racist" but if you click across to the radio show 'Buckwild Sunday' you'll hear one of Rebecca Buckwild Johnston or Bettie Nibblz Brown refer to me as an "asshole."Besides the playful insult (she better be playin') there's much to enjoy as they offer their opinions of New York (bad), Toasteee (worse), Larissa (the worst) and the probability of Charm School 2.Seriously though, thanks to Rebecca and Bettie for the shout-out. Becky, I owe you a chequePicture Courtesy: Buckwild's MySpace
Every car driver is allowed to declare one day a week as, “Asshole Day”, when the flowers bloom, the sun shines, and idiots take to the streets in droves with the sole purposes of annoying, frustrating, and/or scaring the hell out of you.
Guess what today is?
I shot to Hampton today over my lunch hour so I could pick up a present for my wife, a set of personalized license plates for her car that read, “IMAUSIE”. They finally came in although I ordered them ages ago when I renewed both cars’ registrations, but since you have to take in the old plates to get the new ones, I headed in to the courthouse to exchange.
The ride INTO Hampton was pretty nice, and the service at the courthouse was fast and friendly and, despite the long line at Subway, I still got a sandwich in a reasonable amount of time and back on the road. But that’s when the sky clouded over.
The first asshole was the truck with two men gawking at Hampton. Now, being a small town of
Augh! How many times to I have to let myself get burned by involvment in message boards before I realize that everyone on the internet is a giant jerk and that I'm better off staying away from all of them?Stupid online surrogate group. For a bunch of women that prides themselves on how open and supportive and loving they are they sure to suck. A warning to anyone thinking of joining a message board for surrogates: Unless you're willing to fall in with the group-think that selective reduction is the worst crime known to man and anyone that does it is a horrible person and should have their kids taken away from them then don't even bother to start posting.Fuck. Sometimes I really hate the internet.
Roger Clemens, as we already noted today is back in baseball with the Yankees. And apparently he is still a bit testy about not yet being up in the Bronx with his boyfriend Andy. We couldn't be more surprised that The Rocket is just three days into his thirteenth non-retirement and is already being a prick.From the Daily News:[Clemens] did a few drills and sprints before taking exception to the presence of a Daily News photographer and reporter, who watched nearby."Where is your cohort?" the 44-year-old Clemens barked at The News' photographer when he exited the stadium.Earlier, he threatened the photographer, telling him, "I'm going to take some film" from the camera, even though most photographers have shot digitally for more than a decade.As a News reporter walked toward where Clemens was standing with the photographer and a University of Kentucky media relations member, Clemens then demanded to know: "Weren't you here (Tuesday)?"That's when Clemens declared that he would not b
shalom laaahvahs...have ya's been following spitznagel's vonnegut's asshole project? if not, you must. run, read, now. ya's are gonna shit yaself with laughter.eric has invited several of our favorite writers, including himself, brad listi, amy guth, charlie anders, paul fieg and a slew of other literary loves, to send in portraits of their assholes.check it out, it's tits to the tenth power!
Today not once, but twice I almost got hit by the damned cabby. WTF. Who the fuck do they think they are. Driving like nuts like the road belong to their father or something. Your father la (bapak kau a). The most irritating thing is that, they almost hit you - purposedly. And yet they have the guts to stare at you like you did something wrong. Bastard. I had a chance to interview one of this asshole.Me : VanneckamCab Driver : VanneckamMe : Hey, just curious. why do you and others cab driver drive like the the road belong to your father?CB : Aisehhh, nandre nandre. You don't know a. Yes, its my father's roadMe : Ooooo, I don't know that.CB : I inherit it from generation to generationMe : So, you are an idiot assholes for generations,correct?CB : Yinnadei, thats very trueMe : Meaning you are an asshole, and your father also an asshole and your father's father also an asshole, correct?CB : Usually all we cabbies are assholes.Me : Hmm, one big happy fucking assholes familiesCB : You
New Yorkers. So fun. 20 kajillion people packed into an area smaller than a backyard in an LA suburb.
Their responses follow. I don't even look at the pictures anymore, but I'm pretty sure I got several dick pictures because I see several emails that just say things like, "Eat this!" or other equally sophomoric things. I won't include those.
I'll begin with the very last email received...
0
{summary}This is absolutely ridiculous:
Rebecca — who had been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity and bipolar disorder, or what used to be called manic depression — died Dec. 13 of an overdose of prescribed drugs, and her parents have been arrested on murder charges, accused of intentionally overmedicating their daughter to keep her quiet and out of their hair.
The little girl’s doctor diagnosed her with ADHD and bipolar disorder when she was TWO based on family history.
Family history or not, how can anyone ascertain that a two-year-old is hyperactive? Seriously?! Have you ever been around a two-year-old? Unless they’re highly sedated they’re a handful most of the time - they’re inquisitive, curious, and are eager to test their limits with you. What shocks me so much is just how much medication these parents were giving their little girl. There’s no way they can lie and say that they didn’t understan
I have to commute to work, I'm sure I've mentioned this before a few times. I have to take the train, and I pay about £1800, about $3500. For that sort of money I should be getting free meals and a bed on my train. However most of the time I manage to get a seat, and that's good enough for me, as I either read, sleep or play on my DS.Most of the people I travel with are nice enough, they are courteous and polite, we apologise to one another if we get in each others way, or say thank you if they let us pass. But there's always a few oxygen thieves around who make commuting even more tiresome. Here are the top 5 things that make you an asshole commuter:1. Standing on the left of the escalator.2. Stopping suddenly in the middle of the flow of commuters.3. Not moving into the train so more people can get on.4. Complaining loudly about nothing.5. Standing in front of the train doors.On the way to work these things are barely noticed through my blurry and semi-comatose morning haze. I s
Here’s a tip for all you drug dealers out there. If you’re going to hide drugs in your daughter’s jacket pocket, don’t forget to get it back before she goes to school.
Dennis Riker of Hillside, NJ, showed up at his daughter’s school Monday morning saying he had left...
So, there was this guy. He responded to an ad of mine and seemed interesting, so I wrote back. He responded to that with his IM handle. Cool. Then, he wrote again 10 minutes later to say that if I wasn't interested, I should let him know. Hmm. This was a bad sign: paranoia and clinginess when I don't write an email right away does not bode well for a casual relationship. Still, it wasn't a deal breaker, so we arranged to talk later in the day on Thursday:
cluechick: hey
random dude: hey, how's it going?
cc: okay, thanks, you?
rd: okay
cc: still catching up on sleep from last weekend
rd: yeah? what did you do that you're so tired?
cc: oh, I had a big weekend with friends
cc: it was really busy, and I didn't get a lot of sleep
rd: what were you doing?
cc: *launches into explanation of the weekend*
rd: can I say something?
rd: just lay off all this shit and talk to me, we're not getting any younger
cc: uh. I'm sorry, I assumed when you asked me a question, you actually wanted me
Cupid is an asshole. After all, all he could hook me up with in the past were losers. The first one, a Dutch bitch (exactly a fucking year ago). Just when I thought I'd forgotten that episode of my wonderful pathetic life, the 14th of February shows up . Then Asshole hooked me up with an Indian whore (don't even ask) and more recently, the crush I had on hot chick turned out to be a dead end. She is the dumbest chick I've ever met! Dumber than the hot blonde chick with big boobs aka Pamela Anderson.Luckily for me though, there is a way to vent my anger. I could join these idiots and go around town beating couples to quench my jealousy. You see, I get pissed off when I see couples hugging and kissing and I'm left only with little Johnson to talk to . Those extremist assholes may be ashamed to admit it, but I'm not. Not at all. I'm jealous. And little Johnson is getting depressed being all alone. Maybe I should register at some personals site. Maybe I shouldn't, because the love-
I fully understand that we don't get to pick when others disappoint us. Or make us angry. Or irritated. Or anything else that is outside of our realm of control. However, none of that is any comfort to me when my little brother pisses me off. Or disappoints me. Or, on rare occasion, both.The phone rang at 2:15 a.m. last night. I knew it was him because he is the only asshole who calls me. Let alone calls after he knows The Man is in bed (because he gets up and goes to work at 4:30 a.m.).I hear the familiar voice saying "can I talk to my sister please" I figure he has been drinking because he only refers to me as "my sister" so he doesn't have to talk to The Man. He only doesn't talk to The Man when he has been drinking.I remember something about a flat tire and needing a tire iron and where to bring it.I stumble out of bed and The Man gets up to find the tire iron. I drive to where he is, fully awake now and a bit on the cranky side. But hey, at least he wasn'
