NEW YORK- In what many see as a valiant bi-partisan effort, Fox News commentator and noted author Bill O'Reilly announced that he was forming a non-profit corporation dedicated to saving Senator Barack Obama's testicles."I hate to see anyone lose their testicles, even menacing political figures who may well be Muslim terrorists and elitist pacifists who have no respect for hard-working Americans,"
Yeah, I know, the title of this post is rather offensive, but to be honest, so is the rest of the post so if you are one of those squeamish sissy types, then you may want to click over to this place instead.For the rest of you, I am glad you aren't a sissy, because for the first time in The Offended Blogger's history I am taking you deep into the dark recesses of my Google Analytics keyword search
An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee [...]
The Florida Senate, after a lively and not so subtle debate, has voted to outlaw fake bull testicles. The testicles, sold under brand names like 'Truck Nutz', are a popular novelty accessory adorning the trailer hitches of Floridian trucks and cars.Motorists will face a $60 fine if caught displaying the items. Source: www.abc.net.au
After solving major problems like educating the young and providing health care for the old, the Florida, Virginia and Maryland legislatures are considering banning testicles – the ones hanging down from the trailer hitches of many a redneck truck.
During the exciting first round matchup between the Flyers and the Capitals last night, Flyers Winger Patrick Thoresen put his body on the line to stop a potential shot by one of the Capitals. I’m sure that he wasn’t planning on it almost costing him as much as it did.
Thoresen was hit in the [...]
It’s weird. I’m 26 years old, but I still have a third grader inside of me. I recently had to start wearing glasses. In fact, I forgot them today, and I’m straining my eyes writing this. Glasses are so simple, yet amazing. My eyes slowly got worse over the past few years, but it’s amazing to see the difference on what I can see again that I forgot about. I can read small street signs from way further way, and even the TV is much crisper. I’m sure glad my girlfriend was still hot!In the past, the only glasses I’ve worn were Sunglasses, which I would take off as soon as I stepped indoors (unless I’m with my Aunt Gin, Jack Nicholson, or at the final table of a poker tournament, in which case, ship it.) But it just felt weird to leave them on walking inside a building. The first few times I walked into a store, I took them off out of habit. The first time I wore them to work, I was self conscious. It’s completely ridiculous, but it’s true. I knew nobody wa
www.theglobeandmail.comLife-saving remedies viewed as possible ANNE MCILROYMen have a source of potentially life-saving stem cells between their legs.A team of American researchers has found a way to easily identify stem cells in the testicles of adult mice that can be coaxed to turn into brain cells, muscle cells, heart cells, blood cells and even blood vessels. One day, they say, male patients may be able to turn to their own testicles as a source of stem cells to repair an ailing heart or kidney or to fix the brain damage caused by Alzheimer's or Parkinson's disease.The procedure would involve removing a small piece of testicle - about the same amount used for a biopsy."We don't need a lot of material," says Marco Seandel, the lead author of a paper to be published today in the journal Nature and a stem cell researcher at the Howard Hughes Medical Institute in Maryland.His team's work - and that of a German team also experimenting with stem cells extracted from testicles - is pa
Being deaf, it’s not easy making sure you have understood other people correctly. This can lead to all sorts of misunderstandings, and some of them can be quite funny. You certainly need a sense of humour to survive on the deaf planet! I wonder what it’s like to manage a hearing loss in different careers. Which one would be the hardest career to cope with? Which would be the most hazardous? Which would be the easiest? What do YOU do for a living and how much does your hearing loss affect your working life?
At work, I’m interviewing people and giving talks. It feels as if I am defying my hearing loss daily, I’m trying to fly in the face of my deafness. No room for shrinking violets here! No room for the deaf nod either. It’s so important to acknowledge the problem and do something about it. This approach gives hearing people the opportunity to meet me half way.
I think one of the hardest careers for a deaf person would be in medicine. Can you just imagine i
FM: Talk about bad luck... BUKIT MERTAJAM: A screaming 9-year-old was rushed to hospital with his testicles stuck in a metal pipe. The boy had to endure the pain for almost 30 minutes before doctors operated on him and removed the pipe. The incident happened at the boy’s home in Kampung Baru here at 10.15pm on Sunday. It is learnt that the boy was having a bath when his younger brother called out to him from an adjacent room. He climbed up the bathroom partition to see why his brother was making a ruckus when he slipped and landed on an uncovered metal pipe which runs into the concrete water tank. His father, 50, rushed into the bathroom and was shocked to see his son lying on the floor with his testicles stuck in the pipe. Medical staff who responded to the emergency call were forced to call firemen for help when they too failed to remove the pipe. Bukit Mertajam fire officer Rohana Mustafa said they had to use a hydraulic cutter to cut both ends of the pipe.
Filed under: Wacky and Weird
TMZ.com: If the whole music thing doesn’t pan out for him, John Mayer can certainly fall back on his comedy.The “Continuum” crooner took to his blog...
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A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend’s testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison.
Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard.
She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it [...]
A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison. Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard. She pulled off his left testicle and then a friend handed it back to Mr. Jones saying: Here, this is yours! (Don't date this woman!)Monti admitted to wounding and was jailed for two-and-a-half years.Your "Don't it make your eyes water?" scribe;Allan W Janssenhttp://God-101.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/full
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Congratulations! You've just purchased a pair of novelty testicles for your truck, SUV or other vehicle.With the purchase of this fine product you have joined the informal fraternity of novelty nutsack owners -- the three million men (and possibly women, although we doubt it) whose vehicles already bear the unmistakable mark of supreme manliness. Yes, you've joined our proud brotherhood at the peak of its popularity, and whatever your reason for waiting so long, we're glad to have you aboard.Frequently Asked Questions:Q: I hear people making remarks about "compensating for some shortcoming." What does that mean?A: These people are jealous. There is no documented evidence that novelty testicle owners suffer from any sort of physical inadequacy. In fact, during a recent door-to-door survey most novelty testicles owners reported having genitalia as large or larger than the national average.Q: Some people roll their eyes and/or shake their heads when they see my testicles. Why?The
