Offensive

Houston, or rather, Dallas, we have a serious frigging problem!From the Dallas News online:Commissioner Kenneth Mayfield, who is white, said it seemed that central collections "has become a black hole" because paperwork reportedly has become lost in the office.Commissioner John Wiley Price, who is black, interrupted him with a loud "Excuse me!" He then corrected his colleague, saying the office ha

I don't know about you, but in my family, we were always taught that the truth is very important, and we should always be honest, even if it offends someone.We were also taught that there is nothing wrong with speaking ill of the dead, so long as what we said was true.Yep, and there is even a tradition in my family that the honest truth about a person is written in their obituary and even etched i

Here is some food for thought for you, taken from NewsByUs:The biggest problem with political correctness is its net effect on society. People don’t talk to each other anymore because someone told them that they have a right to not be offended, ever, over anything, even if offending them is the right thing to do.We’re not supposed to use terms like “winner” anymore, because “losers” fi

 Cross posted at Conservatism With Heart By now anyone paying attention has seen the New Yorker Magazine cover with Barack and Michelle Obama. Even those who don’t pay attention must have seen the cover by now, you can’t get away from it. Still I must give you my take on it.   Barack Obama’s camp has called [...]

By Bud L. Ellis braves.today.com Braves 12, Padres 3 Top of the Order: The Braves ended a maddening first half with something quite rare: consecutive road victories for the first time since early April, bashing the Padres to finish their first non-losing road trip of the season at 3-3 and reach the All-Star break 6 ½ games out [...]

Hey, no offense to all you eco-friendly do-gooders out there, but I give up! I will just never be as good as you are at this stuff.Ugh.Don't give me that look.I really wanted to be eco-friendly, and believe me and it wasn't cheap when I went out and bought some of these for my secret eco-friendly greenhouse:Yep, they were well worth the investment, too, because with all the money I made from the *

This division lacks a little up front, and the effort trickles down from there. Subpar efforts and lack of healthy players on the line and in the backfield have created a uphill battle for these West Coast teams. That said, Seattle and St. Louis have been the most successful teams from this division, and that [...]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~This is an official Offended Blogger message from your hostess:Hey fellow offenders!I am working on my new website Humor Bloggers dot com, (you can see the beta version at ) so if I don't answer comments or publish high quality Offensives over the next few days, you'll know why.Hooyah!!Not only would I love some feedback on the new project, I also didn't want you to think th

Ummm so no offense if you are a lawyer, but I think Shakespeare was right. We need to kill all the frigging lawyers!! Why? Well, I just found out that a ruling from the Supreme Court in South Dakota could set a dangerous precedent which could affect the right of every American citizen who enjoys the freedom to partake in a bit of "victimless" indecent exposure!!See for yourself:From Channel News 4

It seems like the news stories get weirder every day.Jesse Jackson has been caught on tape making some incredibly crude and incredibly offensive comments about presidential candidate Barack Obama.We have no idea why Jesse Jackson or anyone else would say something like this:

So no offense to all of you hardcore Seinfeld fans out there, but I had a rather offensive dream about Cosmo Kramer last night.Seriously!!It was really frigging bizarre, too, and NO, it wasn't a sex dream!!Well, actually it was a sex dream, but I wasn't having sex, I was just watching. Er, I mean I was watching Kramer explain his sexual escapade from the night before to Elaine and Jerry.Yep, and a

The NFC East is the cream of the crop, especially with the big boys up front. With three of the four teams ranked in the top five in the conference, this is by far the most competitive position in the conference. Dallas and the New York Giants were two of the top teams in the [...]

Well apparently years of caber tossing, eating sheep intestine and going commando under their kilts has taken it's toll on the mental state of my Scottish brethren. Taken from The Scotsman news online:A POLICE force has apologised over concerns that an advertisement featuring a German shepherd pup could be offensive to the Islamic community.That's right.A puppy!!Ugh.What in the world is wrong with

So recently I was invited by a friend to attend services at the local Catholic church. Of course I declined, and I think I may have offended my friend in doing so.I know. :(But in my defense, he's the one who put me on the spot so I had to come up with something, and I certainly didn't want to tell him that I just don't need any church to fulfill my needs because I fulfill my own needs quite nicel

Despite the fact that there are many America hating bastards who are offended by this country and everything she stands for, I happen to love my country, and I'd just like to take a moment to say to them on this lovely 4th of July:For the rest of you... :)I wonder if there are any America hating bastards over at humor-blogs.com!!

Running the ball, protecting the quarterback and controlling the clock are critical elements of any successful offensive line, and ultimately, any successful offensive. That even includes fantasy football offenses. You don’t just need to draft a good running back, you need to have the horses up front blocking for him. If you want further proof, [...]

Yeah, I know, the title of this post is rather offensive, but to be honest, so is the rest of the post so if you are one of those squeamish sissy types, then you may want to click over to this place instead.For the rest of you, I am glad you aren't a sissy, because for the first time in The Offended Blogger's history I am taking you deep into the dark recesses of my Google Analytics keyword search

You know, I've been tagged several times to do various memes, and no offense to my fellow bloggers who may enjoy these things, but they just annoy the hell out of me!I mean, honestly, they are just not my style but since I know other bloggers who I love and admire seem to enjoy them, I decided to make a meme that IS my style!Hooyah!!Yep, and it is a self-styled interview with myself. I titled it:"

Here’s what I’d do to the line-up.  I’d like to hear your input, or what you would want to do with the line-up if you were manager. In my opinion, I think seniority and egos should get thrown in the garbage by a manager, when the team is not winning. Shake-ups work, and they work [...]

Liberals say the darndest things.In the same way that conservatives preach that the oil gouging is just the result of market forces, and the solution is to drill off Santa Barbara and evict the Anwar polar bears, liberals have their own twisted take.They like the high prices because it forces people to go Green. They would prefer it if we imposed sky high taxes, but since this is not Europe, t

OK, I'm sure those of you who are of the penile persuasion probably felt an uncontrollable urge to click on this post because of the implied possibility of it leading to an arousing (yet possibly offensive to someone with an offending stick up their ass!) picture like this:Sorry, but I assure you that this is not the case, and frankly, you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking such a thi

No offense to those easily offended British, but after years of enduring feminine itch, genital herpes and penile dysfunction commercials, I can honestly say that a Heinz mayonnaise commercial with two men kissing would be a breath of fresh air right about frigging now!From the UK's timesonline: A mayonnaise ad that shows two men kissing has been withdrawn from television after 200 viewers compla

So, no offense, but I am just REALLY not in the mood to write a post today. Why? Well, because I am way too preoccupied with working out, target practicing and making my "Darwin List" of people and things I plan on pillaging and cannibalizing in anticipation for the end of the world.That's right, as you may or may not know, I am a true Darwinist and I plan on being one of the fittest who survives

It has long been stated that football is won in the trenches, and the signing of Michigan tackle Jack Long by the Miami Dolphins as the first overall pick in the 2008 NFL Draft underscore that importance. And since New England has dominated its division foes by giving quarterback Tom Brady all day to pick [...]

The offensive line is the heart of the offense.  If you have a good line, mediocre players will look great, but if you have a bad line, even a superstar will look like a dud. How bad was the Chiefs offensive line last year? * 31st in total yards* 31st in pnts/game* 28th in 3rd down conversion* 1st in sacks allowed* 32nd in rushing yards* 30th in rushing TDs* 2nd in punt attempts* Can't fi

Sebastian Rocca, Executive Director of the UK Lesbian and Gay Immigration Group (UKLGIG) has branded Home Secretary Jacqui Smith as ‘offensive and ill-informed’, following her outright refusal to institute a moratorium on deportations of lesbian and gay asylum seekers to Iran. Her continuing insistence that gay men and lesbians who are ‘discreet’ face no danger [...]

Teens Make Pregnancy Pact to get pregnant (WAIT, the pod just peeled. Back in a minee). I'm back. Didjya miss me? Just kidding. I think I whacked the pod. I plugged it in and it's not syncing up. It's okay, don't panic, I have another music source. I'm covered. Back to the topic at hand. Wait... Oh, right. Duh, Schwartzy. Six teenagers at Gloucester high school made a pregnancy pact. Consumed by d

Everybody wants the best running back in the league when fantasy football drafts kick off around the country, and San Diego’s LaDainian Tomlinson is clearly the top choice. Not only is he the best running back in the league, but he benefits by playing behind the best offensive line in the league. When you can [...]

So, um, no offense, but if you came here to victimize me I'm going to have to ask you to just go away and find someone else to victimize. I'm sure there are plenty of other people who would enjoy your victimization much more than I would, and I'm sure they deserve it more than I do.Hey, I'm serious!Don't look at me like that. It's not my fault that I just can't take being victimized anymore!!!!!!!

The Jacksonville offensive line is mean, and sets the tone for its offensive. In Indianapolis, the Peyton Manning-led Colts thrive on the quick thinking of their quarterback. Either way, both offensive lines produce great results with completely different formulas. Moral to the story. It might not matter how you win as long as you find [...]

So hey, don't get all offended on me, but if you happen to be white and you are reading this, you owe me some money, dammit. That's right, it's called reparations and if you don't pay, I will have no choice but to call up my Jewish lawyer. He'll make sure you cough up what you owe me!!Don't look at me like that. I mean, don't you think my people have suffered enough at the hands of your people??Ug

First of all, thanks to everyone for making this Weekender Offender contest a success!! All of the entries were funny, offensive, and worthy of an award, but as you know, I have to pick just one winner.It isn't easy to choose, believe me!!I'd like to choose you all, but as a token of my appreciation, please feel free to copy the following graphic onto your blog and encourage your own readers to jo

(Get your best dirty jokes and offensive posts ready folks, it's time for the Weekender Offender awards!!)Oh, alright, I am painfully aware that it has been awhile since I handed out my lovely and highly coveted Weekender Offender award, and I've had a few e-mails bugging me about kindly reminding me that I am long overdue and seriously slacking on my duties here.Soooo, I thought I'd better do som

You know, after visiting Becca and Kelly's offensively fun blog, Let's Bitch, it made me realize that I am really getting sick of hearing people bitch about stuff that they find offensive!!Seriously.I mean, you know me, I don't like to complain. If something offends me, I just ignore it and go on with my life. I don't obsess over it or bitch about it or tell everyone how offended I am!For instance

One of the most disconcerting aspects of liberal bigots is their insatiable appetite for tearing down anything American in order to build up anti-American sentiment and people.SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "More Offensive: Illegal Aliens With Mexico’s Flag, or US Citizens With a Confederate Flag?", url: "-illegal-aliens-mexicos-flag-citizens-confederate-flag/" });

It has been reported at celebrity gossip site Bitten & Bound that Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman are getting ready to welcome their first baby with a clothes buying session (a pastime very close to my heart! You can...

Soooo, now that I have all this extra time on my hands as a result of avoiding Mother Nature's wrath and the offensive sight of Mr. Euro dork (see post below), I decided it was time to do what's right and clean out a bunch of shit from my computer.Boy, that was a mistake!Please don't ask why, but there must be thousands of offensive photos scattered all over my hard drive!!The worst part is, they'

Well, I don't know what the hell I did to offend that bitch Mother Nature, but for the third time now I've had to postpone a camping trip into Yellowstone Park since she is obviously trying to kill me every time I step outside.Seriously.I can't even go out there anymore because every time I do bad things happen and I know she wants me dead but I have no idea why!I mean, her and I have always gotte

Most of the time, a kiss is just a kiss in the stands at Seattle Mariners games. The crowd hardly even pays attention when fans smooch. But then last week, a lesbian complained… that an usher at Safeco Field asked her to stop kissing her date because it was making another fan uncomfortable. The incident has exploded [...]

In response to international criticism of its human rights record in the run-up to the Beijing Olympics, the Chinese government has started a PR campaign. Among other things, it will widely distribute the following poster in Olympic venues and hotels. If your Chinese is not very good, tilt your head 90° to the right. [...]

The offensive line needed attention after Shane Olivea's release and Nick Hardwick's injury, so the Bolts signed new faces to mend gaps and provide depth. While Jeremy Newberry steps over Cory Withrow for the starting role, L.J. Shelton gives the line solid injury protection. The Bolts see a smooth transition as they enter the new season.

by Dave MindemanThe conversation on the US Senate race in Minnesota seems to be stuck on determining what constitutes being offended.That's really a hard determination to make. We know the Republicans are claiming offense at an article Al Franken wrote. But is it really offense they are taking or is it just another political shot?Let's take Norm Coleman and his family. Here is a guy who espouse

Now, if you are of the penile persuasion, don't get all offended on me, but, guess what?! I am now a bra burning, card carrying, lifetime member of the Feminazi Man Hater Bitches Club!That's right, and let me tell you, it is sooooo frigging liberating!!Hey, don't give me that look, we both know that it was inevitable that I become one of them. I mean, I must have been the last female on the planet

Former Pro Bowl center Jeremy Newberry signed a one-year contract with the San Diego Chargers on Monday, most likely as insurance in case Nick Hardwick isn't ready for the start of the season. Hardwick had surgery on his sprained right foot on March 14. The team said at the time that he would need four to six months to recover.

Famlove.cn is an offensive blog scraping site! I’m writing this post so that when anyone searches famlove.cn, the google results they get show this title. Here’s why famlove.cn and anyone associated with it, is being awarded the ASSHAT OF THE DAY AWARD. Many thanks to Mark, from Blogitude, for the permission to use his award when [...]

So no offense to all of you pathetic, non-handicapped couch potatoes out there who live vicariously through people like myself, but I decided that I am going to join the Special Olympics!!Yep, and I bet I will even win third or fourth place in the ping pong division:Hey, don't laugh!I can blow wayyyyy harder than she can.OK, I know what you're thinking, "Uh, Chelle B., being handicapped is nothing

So did you miss me?! You better have, because I would be highly offended if you didn't, dammit!! Either way, I hope you had a great long weekend. I sure did, even though it rained off and on while I was camping up in the Tetons.Ugh, it is so gorgeous up there this time of year!!So anyhoo, while I was out there enjoying paradise under the stars in my shiny new camper, watching for those ever presen

Winning Youth Football’s Dominating Offensive Line Play for Youth Football DVD is packed with useful pee wee offensive line football information for the youth football coach. I am in the middle of redeveloping my offensive line schemes and calls and this was a refreshing “hands-on” knowledge transfer from a very successful youth football coach, Dave [...]

Blizzard: Wrath of the Lich King Leaks Are 'Extremely Offensive'Wired News - 13 minutes ago… a few of the people participating in the alpha testing for Blizzard's next World of Warcraft expansion, Wrath of the Lich King, have posted classified … Written by Google Inc. and Powered by WordPress

Latest News Getty Images | AP (2) 'Deeply OffensiveAnd Indefensible' McCain Denounces 2 PreachersWhat Did They Say to Spark Flap? Barbecuing This Holiday Weekend?Expect to Pay a Lot More for Fixin's Stormy Weather Ahead? Hurricane Forecast IssuedFind Out What's Predicted Next

Soooo, I really don't mean to offend anyone who considers themselves to be an 'artist' or an art critic or anything like that and I know that art is supposed to be subjective and resides solely in the eye of the beholder and all that, but honestly, can someone please tell me if there is some sort of bizarre optical disease that afflicts certain people and makes their eye see 'art' where mine just

I started running The Beast offensive formation back in 1994 with my Plano youth football team.  Only until recently did I learn it is called The Beast.  I call it Loud n Rowdy for Left and Right.  I also have a “T” middle formation which is called Monkey, so Loud, Rowdy, Monkey.  The kids love the [...]

So, no offense, but I hope you aren't one of "them" because if you are, I am onto you and believe me, you won't get away with it for long!! Noooo, I don't mean one of Google's hit men, although, between you and me, I do think they have been following me lately.I keep seeing this car everytime I leave the house:Oh, and I also caught a few seconds of their disinformation propaganda campaign about me

So was I the only one who wasn't aware that there is an unwritten rule which says that we aren't supposed to do anything to ever offend Google lest we invoke their wrath and suffer the consequences? Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised, since they are the Antichrist.That's right, and I'm not afraid to say it, either:GUESS WHAT EVERYONE?! GOOGLE IS THE ANTICHRIST!!!!OK, I know what you're thinkin

Youtube blurb: A music video to watch while you skip church this Sunday. Written and performed by Julie Wittner (co-creator of "2 Hot Girls in the Shower") and Ryan Smith (a staff writer for "Mad TV"), and directed by Kim Evey (creator of "Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show"). This song started out as a live sketch at the ACME Comedy Theatre in L.A. If you like sharp, Daily Show type political sat

There are a few interesting names still available on the free agent market. Here is who I believe is the best available for each offensive position. Quarterback Best Available: Daunte Culpepper (Raiders) The three-time Pro Bowler and two-time All-Pro has been decimated with injuries throughout the past few seasons. Culpepper, 31, has played just 18 games in the [...]

The last time a group of guys named Shanahan, Kubiak and Gibbs teamed up they ended up with a couple of rings. In 2008 this combination will try to duplicate that success. Of course, I’m referring to the Houston Texans and not our Denver Broncos and the Shanahan I listed is Kyle Shanahan [...]

OK, so no offense, but when I find out who ever the hell it was that came by my blog and left their nasty, contagious germs all over the place, they are really going to be sorry!!Do they even realize how sick I was or what I've been through these past few days?!!Do they even care??:*(Oh well, don't worry, because if it was you, you aren't the only one that I am mad at.My hubby is on my revenge lis

Arsene rebuffed the claims by Alexander Hleb’s agent that the player was leaving. Whilst answering the question posed, Arsene was being somewhat disingenuous by claiming that no one – agent or otherwise - had contacted him about the Byelorussian. In choosing to ignore the Article 17 aspect, the journalist missed an opportunity to push Le [...]

No offense but:Yes, I, Chelle B. have the dreaded cooties.Don't worry, I'm sure I'll survive it.Maybe.*sniffles**coughs**sighs**cries*Crawls back in bed.Why can't they just keep their cooties to themselves over at humor-blogs.com?! :*(

One of the first things I teach my young football players is the offensive holes, gaps, position names and formations.  Once we establish our base offensive vocabulary, then it is much easier to learn running and blocking assignments.  To do this I developed a t-shirt system very similar to the using a numbered fire hose, but [...]

Hey, no offense to all those idiots out there who feel like they are doing me a favor by giving me unsolicited financial advice on what I should be doing to "recession proof myself", but I don't really need to be told by them what to do with my money!Honestly, I can't tell you how many times lately that I've come across someone like this who thinks they are qualified to tell me how to protect my assets:Yeeeahhh.I mean, he probably can't even spell the word recession and it is obvious that he can't even afford to invest in toilet paper, but somehow he thinks he is qualified to give me financial advice?!Puleeze.Heh.IF I wanted financial advice, which I don't, I'd MUCH rather ask someone like Donald Trump, or Alan Greenspan, or better yet, my personal hero, Mr. Joey Vento from Geno's Steaks:I

I've been cleaning my blog out after noticing how many Youtube links were dead. There were heaps! It's safe to go looking through them now, as I've fixed most of them. It's gonna take a while to get to all of them, and then I'm gonna be stressing out rechecking them again in the future as videos get deleted or moved. It's a tough job, eh? The following clips are funny, but offensive to any of my Christian friends, so be warned: If anybody else goes trawling through the following categories of videos I've embedded here and find dead links, give me a yell. Youtube (33)Youtube - Animated Anti-Religion (1)Youtube - Bizarre (2)Youtube - Funny (5)Youtube - Interesting (1)Youtube - Offensively funny (6)Youtube - Very Funny (6)

A classic bit of radio, as John Gibson confronts the moron from Huffington Post who asked John McCain that nasty question at a town hall meeting. Gets funnier and funnier. This is why we call them moonbats.

Yep, it's true. I am shameless and damn proud of it! I really could care less if it offends anyone, either, because let's face it, life is too short to go around sporting an offending-ass stick all the time and I'd rather enjoy every moment of it rather than bitching and moaning about how everything and everyone offends me.I'm sure it helps that I'm not all that easy to offend. Between you and me, I prefer to be the offender and not the offendee, if ya know what I mean. *wink wink*Anyhoo... today I am shamelessly promoting myself, something I NEVER do, well at least not very often, and because I know you ARE so very, very, very nice deep down, much like myself, (oh, don't worry, I won't tell anyone if you won't!), I would like to guilt nicely coerce you into doing the following things for

This image of a man with a fish hook through his mouth, a literal depiction of being "hooked" on cigarettes, was intended to shock smokers into quitting. But it appears the Department of Health adverts went too far.read more | digg story

You know that old saying, 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em'?? Well, no offense, but that's exactly what I've decided to do by joining the masses and going green.Hey, don't look at me like that, it's not my fault!Look, I tried beating them but apparently they haven't made recyclable condoms yet because those eco-friendly people are very, VERY friendly and keep breeding so I am way outnumbered!It's a conspiracy, I tell you.I only have sex for fun, and not for procreation, while they are obviously doing it for fun AND to procreate so that they can take over the world!!Gobshite bastards.OK, I know what you're thinking, "Chelle B., please tell me that 'going green' for you just means using lots of Irish curse words and that you aren't going to sell your monster truck and turn vegan and start pr

Well hey fellow offenders, yes it is Monday again! Yay!! Did you notice my new header? Jason over at Gorilla Sushi made it for me and I LOVE it, didn't he do a great job?!! :)Anyhoo... it's time to reveal the sad and sordid truth behind my WTF?! Friday Offensive.As usual, I received a number of hilarious (and completely WRONG!) guesses, but SO MANY of you came close enough that YOU ALL win a fabulous trip to the gayest day spa of your choice:Congratulations EVERYONE heehee!!Oh, the only catch is it has to be one in eastern Idaho. Believe me, there are TONS of gay day spas to choose from here, ALL OF YOU, have fun and come by when you are in the area, we'll go fly fishing or something!!:)Now then, to start things off, you have to realize that I, Chelle B., could have EASILY written the foll

AVISO; SEGUN ENCUENTRE MAS LINKS O MAS POST LOS PUBLICARE PARA QUE TENGAS MAS OPCIONES DE BAJARSE EL JUEGO... ¡Se buscan h?roes para la Segunda Guerra Mundial! Vuelve a las pantallas de nuestros ordenadores uno de los juegos más populares y aclamados dentro del g?nero de la acción b?lica, y lo hace en forma de expansión. En Call of Duty: United Offensive tendrás la oportunidad de tomar parte en trece nuevas misiones (once para la versión multijugador) que recrean con todo lujo de detalles las batallas más importantes de la Segunda Guerra Mundial, y te permiten escribir tus propios renglones en esta página de la reciente historia de la humanidad. Seguir leyendo... >>

Hey fellow offenders, it's time for WTF?! Friday again!!So, um, not to make you feel guilty or anything but I will be HIGHLY offended if you don't play along with me on this and every single upcoming and consecutive WTF?! Friday.What do you mean, 'why'?!Hey, you may or may not know this but I am very emotionally fragile from all of the offenses committed against me while growing up as the youngest of five (very not-nice) siblings, so I don't handle rejection well!That's right.It was like living in a POW camp, only with more duct tape. In fact, I probably have PTSD from all of that duct tape! So do you really want to add to my need for duct tape therapy by refusing to play along on my WTF?!! Friday Offensive?!!Awww, thanks!! I knew you'd understand.Don't tell the other #1 fans, but between

Hey, no offense, but isn't the Pope supposed to be setting a good example for the rest of us?? You tell me, just what the hell was he thinking, driving around America on 4/20 like this:You know that bastard probably didn't even share with his popemobile chauffeur, either!!:pI bet they celebrated 4/20 over at humor-blogs.com !!

Hey fellow offenders, it's Monday again!! OK, so it's almost Tuesday but hey, between you and me, I am lucky to be here at all after the fun and crazy weekend I had. No, I didn't break any bones while we were out playing in the dirt with our dune buggy, but I came pretty damn close and I am very, very sore but it is worth it.Gosh, I love that thing!!Do you know what I love even more??The fact that after we came home and got all cleaned up, my hubby decided that we needed a new toy-hauler to put the dune buggy in to take camping, so we spent all day yesterday and today shopping for and buying this bad boy:HOOYAH!!Yep, it's 30 feet long, sleeps 10 and has a garage built in it that could hold THREE dune buggies so if I go missing for days or weeks at a time this summer, you'll know why.Hey, d

In the our show Doghouse with Baddog we greet people who come in the chat with a four letter word that starts with "F". It is not meant to be mean or offensive, just to be different from everyone else. It got started back in July when we was told we say the word to much, and nobody wants to hear it. Well we kinda of took offense to it, and decided we are going to say it more. Jack Ingram did a song called "love you". In words sounds real nice, but if you really listen to the words, he was meaning the "f" word. So we are doing the opposite, when we give you a good old "f", we mean the opposite.Well we have been doing this for almost a year, but never really asked the people if they are offended. So this is what this blog is all about, we want to know;Are you offended, by the F-Bomb Is the

Hey fellow offenders, it's Friday again and time to play WTF?! Friday! Whoever plays along wins a special prize on Monday and whoever doesn't will be hearing from my team of lawyers because I will be irrevocably damaged emotionally and dammit, I will make you compensate me for it!!:)WTF?! is with my family tree?!!(Yes, that IS me, circa age 11!)So... sometime during the year when I was at the highly impressionable age of 11, my uncle on my Mom's side finished up years of work he had put in to researching our family genealogy.When he sent our family the copy of the book he had compiled, I was shocked and a bit traumatized to find out that in my veins coursed the blood of an infamous crazy person!!So... this should be easy...W(ho)TF?! do you suppose it is that I am directly related to??Was i

So the other day I started to get a bit offended as I was trying to explain to my hubby all about why being grown up really isn't better than being a kid. He just didn't seem to get it and it was really pissing me off!!!I mean, how could he not understand that life was SO much easier before adulthood?I gave him so many reasons why I'd give anything to go back to that blissful time in my life before I worried about 'adult things'.Like, for instance, there was a time when I had NO idea that I'd have to grow up and worry so damn much about these people:Now, I not only worry, I want to do something to help them and I feel completely powerless, which really sucks.:*(Yeah.So I told him all about how I really enjoyed the complete ignorance I used to have when all I thought about China was this:Be

OK, I admit that I was a bit offended after I found out that LOBO used me as a guinea pig for his little "Inside the Blogger Mind" Control Group experience. So, I decided I was going to seek revenge on him for his malicious portrayal of me as being some kind of maniacal blogger who only thinks about one thing - global annihilation:I know!!I mean, anyone who knows me knows this is simply NOT true!! I am much more like Mary Poppins than he gives me credit for:Honestly! That's the real me!!OK, so maybe I think about global domination but I don't want to annihilate everyone, I only want to annihilate the ignorant and the easily offended (which make up roughly 97.4% of the human race).Well, and now LOBO, who I added to my list for revenge purposes.Hey, I think it is very generous of me to leave

I assume if you’re Albert Pujols you should be on the phone trying to track down these two.  If you’re Pujols and you’re not immediately trying to exert any baseball player “you have to have sex with me because I’m a star” power then I’d have to think you might be gay.  Married or not, [...]

An actual Dear Abby letter:DEAR ABBY: This is the third time the subject has come up in conversation, and we need an answer so we can stop arguing. The question: Is it OK to call a Little Person a midget or a dwarf? Should they just be referred to as Little People or LPs? Please tell me what is correct. -- LITTLE PROBLEM IN SEATTLE DEAR LITTLE PROBLEM: Most people of any height would prefer to be referred to by name rather than labeled. However, according to the Billy Barty Foundation, terms such as "dwarf," "little person," "LP" and "person of short stature" are all acceptable. The term "midget" is considered offensive by most people of short stature because the term dates back to 1865, the height of the "freak show" era, when it was applied to proportionate dwarves who were on di

DOVER, N.H. — A Portsmouth woman contends a greeting card sends a negative message to teens by combining alcohol and sex.Cyndi Desrosiers, an employee of Allies for Substance Abuse Prevention, said she was taken back when she read the card at Nicole’s Hallmark. “I was appalled. I can’t believe Hallmark would do this,” Derosiers said. On [...]

Hey, no offense to all of you Monday haters out there, but I happen to love Mondays!! Yep, it's my favorite day of the week and do you know why? Because from now on, Mondays are when I'll be posting the true stories behind my new WTF?! Friday Offensives.That's right, and in case you missed the last one, here is the title, picture and clues:WTF?! Happened to my Sister's New Kitten???(Yes, that IS me circa age 8!!)1) my twin sized waterbed (with a Hello Kitty comforter, of course!)2) my sister's best friend's sleep over party that I was NOT invited to! :(3) the park around the corner4) my Hello Kitty lunch box5) a shiny, new, 1980 quarterNow, needless to say, I received some VERY funny (and incredibly inaccurate!) guesses at this one, (and unfortunately a few of the comments were lost in the

The one thing we knew coming into this season was this team was going to score a lot of runs. After 12 games that is pretty much all that hasn't happened. The bullpen has been good outside of Hawkins and Farnsworth but we knew that, Wang has looked great, Moose has a pulse, and we have manufactured runs in tight spots. However, the bats are still asleep. The main culprits have been Damon, Giambi and Cano. Last year a lot was made of all the Yankee lefties not hitting to start the season and except for Abreu the same has happened this year. Maybe these guys are just not that good. I believe that Cano will bounce back but really Giambi and Damon are two guys that look done. I am sure Damon will have a hot streak and get his numbers near respectability and Giambi will hit some HRs but rea

Hey fellow offenders, it's Friday again and time for my 2nd installment of WTF?! Friday!Hooyah!!The rules are SO simple! I give you a picture of myself along with 5 clues and you try to figure out the ugly facts of the TRUE offensive tale all on your own.I'll post the whole true and terribly sordid story from my traumatic childhood over the weekend on my Weekender Offender post.Whoever plays along will win something really great!!.(Last week it was free tacos from Jesus's taco truck!! Yumm!!)Ok!So... here is this week's picture and 5 clues, along with the title of the story:WTF?! Happened to my Sister's New Kitten???(Yes, that IS me circa age 8!!)1) my twin sized waterbed (with a Hello Kitty comforter, of course!)2) my sister's best friend's sleep over party that I was NOT invited to! :(3)

This ad was pulled from the website of Metro in Washington, D.C., after the Archdiocese of Washington objected to Pope Benedict XVI being portrayed as a bobblehead. Insert your own jokes here.A spokeswoman from Metro stated: "What we didn't realize is that the bobblehead wasn't an accurate depiction of the Pontiff. Nor did we realize it was unauthorized merchandise." The bobblehead, bought off of eBay, was allegedly wearing "improper Pontiff attire".If I wanted a religious toy, I wouldn't want a bobblehead. But I'm hoping Hot Wheels can come up with their version of this:

No offense, but don't you miss the good old days?! I know I do! People are all so frigging uptight now, most of them are sporting those big offending sticks up their asses, and it really pisses me off.I mean, back in the good old days, people were so much happier!They didn't worry about every little thing, they just lived life to the fullest and they encouraged their kids to do the same:Honestly, do you see that level of father/son happiness today?!No, you do not, because people are so frigging uptight now, and would rather be miserable bastards and since misery loves company, they want their kids to be miserable little bastards, too.Ugh.Kids were much happier back in the good old days, probably because they were allowed to smoke candy cigarettes and play with real toys:Hey, we both know t

I’m talking about the ad everyone’s buzzing about from Absolut Vodka. The pictorial ad is worth a thousand words and thousands of dollars lost in sales, I suspect. I’ve included a link to the ad on Strange Maps. Read the article below the ad to read apologies and background. A link to the ad from the LA Times [...]

I don't know why, but Sundays always make me feel like casting aside my offensive thoughts to take the time to contemplate the deeper, more spiritual things in my life. It is a day for reflecting on all my blessings and to really work on being a better person.OK, I'm lying, Sundays make me really only think of two things:1) I wish Jesus's taco truck was open today.2) The church sign generator is too much frigging fun to play with!My first round of church signs still brings more traffic to my blog than any other post to date so I thought it was time for round 2.Enjoy!!:)They say the darnedest things over at humor-blogs.com too!!

The Yankees are now 2-3, so much for avoiding the slow start this year. Last year was started with an exact mirror 2-3 record but the Yankees scored 6, 9 and 10 runs in three of those games. In all 5 games this year they have scored 4 runs or less - that matches the longest such streak from last year(April 24-29). Also, they only had three streaks of scoring four or less in at least 4 straight games all of last year. Also, immortals Andy Sonnanstine and Edwin Jackson basic shut down the Yankee attack so the argument used while facing the Jays about facing good pitching no longer hold true. Offensive slumps always look worse in the beginning of the year so lets just hope the pitching continues to be serviceable and the offense will come around.

ENOUGH of the politically correct bullsh*t!!! Islam is NOT peaceful, NOT tolerant, and has no place in the 21st century. Just in case Europe didn’t catch his drift with one new message, al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden launched two audio taped broadsides on the Internet during the third week of March 2008. In them, he [...]