Limerick

Little Willie Winkle, with a thirst for gore, stapled his sister to the door, “Now Willie”, his mother said with humor quaint, “Don’t do that, you’ll scratch the paint”.

A picture that always fascinates me Is one by my friend Anna Blankmoúry I always stop and stare At the picture so rare Even though there’s nothing to see Person Anna Blankmoúry Right click for SmartMenu shortcuts

A kid in school never got education Since he was always on “vacation” He’d navigate on ships and boats And even ride on Billy Goats Waiting for the action of his homework’s “evaporation” How to write a Limerick? Find out on Giggle Poetry by Bruce Lansky Person Billy Goats Right click for SmartMenu shortcuts

The University of Limerick (UL) with over 11,500 students and 1,200 staff is a young, energetic and enterprising university with a proud record of innovation in education and excellence in research... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

Research opportunities at the University of Limerick Institute for the Study of Knowledge in Society The PhD scholarships below arise as a result of the University of Limerick's participation in... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

Hey, didya hear? The Bookstore here is having a limerick contest (not that I could find it on their website…ahem!). Deadline is March 30th. Submit by email to staff@eagleharborbooks.com or by mail or in person. Here’s one of mine (it’s G rated): Frog Rock hopped to Winslow at dark. He shopped for their flies as [...]

Read in the Irish Examiner today that some of the Limerick players are refusing to play for Munster because of the changes to the munster Championship which makes it very difficult for the weaker teams to break through to a Munster Final. Fair play to them I say! First Antrim get shafted now this. What is Brennan doing? I really have no faith in that fella. But sure what do you expect from an Insurance Salesman? Isn’t it funny that Kilkenny still have a nice run into the finals after the Hurling Championship reshuffle? Mickey Ned O’Sullivan (Limerick Coach) says “They all felt that they would not have the heart to play for a province that has treated them the way it has and that has no interest in the development of football in the weaker counties. So they decided against playing — which is a big decision. The players felt that they are being left out on a limb. “I agree with them totally and to the best of my knowledge, there is a similar feeling in the other counti

Omega abuseAfter travelling to Cork for the start of the rally last Friday, I made another long-distance trip on Sunday for the Sleek FX show at Limerick Racecourse. The 'King Of The Ring' donut/burnout competition was mildly amusing for a while, but it really just amounts to car abuse. It is incredible to see just how much of a thrashing venerable Opel Omegas, Ford Sierras and Toyota Corollas can take without giving up, though.In the parade ring, there was a mixed bag of cars on display. On the plus side there were plenty of yummy Skylines, Silvias and other performace machinery on show, but they shared the stage with some truly awful bodykitted rubbish, including a pink 'Playboy' Civic, the image of which I'm still trying to remove from the back of my retinas. Gotta cater to everyone, I suppose.There was also single-lane drag racing on the racecourse's emergency vehicle lane. Most impressive car of the day was a white R32 Skyline GT-R, running 3.2s 0-60 times and low 11-second

Read this in the Irish Independent today “SOME of the country’s most dangerous criminal gangs have put out a contract on a specially trained sniffer dog that has almost cleared a prison of illegal drugs. Rocky, a two-year-old black-and-white spaniel, began his crime fighting career in Limerick Prison a fortnight ago and is proving to be a knockout success in the detection of drugs smuggled into the jail. Such is the canine’s success rate that convicted criminals inside the jail frustrated with the drugs drought have ordered their associates in Limerick’s crime gangs to have the dog killed. Last Thursday, some of the city’s most notorious criminals in the D2 wing of the jail staged a riot and smashed all their TVs in protest at the new recruit. Convicted criminals have even attempted to take pictures of Rocky on their mobile phones and send it to gangs outside the jail so that contracted hitmen will recognise the drug- busting dog.” Full story here.

Read this in the Irish Independent today “SOME of the country’s most dangerous criminal gangs have put out a contract on a specially trained sniffer dog that has almost cleared a prison of illegal drugs. Rocky, a two-year-old black-and-white spaniel, began his crime fighting career in Limerick Prison a fortnight ago and is proving to be a knockout success in the detection of drugs smuggled into the jail. Such is the canine’s success rate that convicted criminals inside the jail frustrated with the drugs drought have ordered their associates in Limerick’s crime gangs to have the dog killed. Last Thursday, some of the city’s most notorious criminals in the D2 wing of the jail staged a riot and smashed all their TVs in protest at the new recruit. Convicted criminals have even attempted to take pictures of Rocky on their mobile phones and send it to gangs outside the jail so that contracted hitmen will recognise the drug- busting dog.” Full story here.

“Limerick: Open your mind, hand over your wallet.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7yETQ6OvqQ “An ideal destination for sightseers to watch drive-by shootings, muggings and Piebald ponies crashing through housing estates. A five-day break will cost you 240 pounds, your wallet, your keys and whatever else you had in your jacket” Limerick people may not agree with the sentiment expressed in the video …. it does, however, have a tinge of truth to it! Limerick has a long way to go to rid itself of the ’stab city’ image that it has developed over the years. Share This

Moin, so…nachdem ich nun einige Tage offline überstehen musste ist nun alles wieder in Ordnung. Wo fang ich am besten an… Freitag Abend waren wir in einem Nightclub (Discothek)…war wirklich lustig und ein würdiger letzter Abend in Cork. Am Samstag stand dann der schmerzliche Abschied und die Reise nach Limerick an. Soweit lief alles reibungslos und so konnte ich dann auch meine Unterkunft für die nächsten 18 Wochen im “Thomond Student Village” beziehen. Da das Semester erst in ca. 2 Wochen losgeht, ist es hier noch recht leer und ich hab das Appartment erstmal für mich allein. Hier mal ein paar Bilderchen: mein Haus Blick vom Balkon Küche mein Zimmer Küche Wie ihr seht…alles ziemlich modern und sauber. Ich bin auf jeden Fall zufrieden damit und denke ich komm hier gut klar. Nun ist nur noch unklar, wer hier noch mit mir einzieht… Da ich bis heute kein Internet hatte, war am Wochenende genug Zeit vorhanden um die

WATSON: I say, Holmes.HOLMES: Yes, Watson?WATSON: I'm thinking of entering The Times Limerick competition, the theme being Old Mother Hubbard.HOLMES: Oh, don't bother, old chap. You haven't got a ghostly.WATSON: Oh, really, old bean? And why's that then?HOLMES: Because, old man, I've already won it.WATSON: Already won it? How come?HOLMES: Because Rollicksome-Braithwaite, the editor, has seen my entry and laughed so much his haemorrhoid's fell out.WATSON: Good Lord!HOLMES: He assured me from his hospital bed that my Limerick shall not be surpassed. Indeed, he wants me to be the judge for next year's competition.WATSON: Good Lord! I didn't know you had a saucy bone in your body, Holmes.HOLMES: It's almost all sauce, old chum. With a bit of cartilage.WATSON: (sighs) Is there anything you CAN'T do?HOLMES: I can't see in the dark or get to the end of Charles Dickens' Great Expectations, irrespective of how many jelly babies I consume.WATSON: Dashed again. I can't do tho

Pick From 1 Division1. Monaghan United vs Limerick 37Friday, 06 JulyGortakeegan StadiumKick off: 8:00 pmPrediction: Away winThe odds: in Decimal 2.05The verdict:Chasing promotion Limerick 37 will visit currently 8 spotted Monaghan in Irish 1 Division tonight game with both teams having pretty different priorities to follow. The guests are flying high now and last time when I saw them down it was on a visit to Finn Harps back in the begging of June (they have lost 3:0). Excluding this record Limerick 37 are playing very confidently on their visits and often keep clean sheets. They last drew top spotted Dundalk 0:0 and after that came amazingly from behind to grab the win 3:2 at home against Shelbourne. Now they are coming to Gortakeegan Stadium for all the 3 points that will not let to open a kind of a gap to the 2nd place in the table. They even have some fresh blood added to the squad - The Shamrock Rovers trio of Wayne Colbert, Tommy Barrett and Robbie Kelleher have all signed contr

There once was a plumber from Lea,Who was plumbing his girl, by the sea.Said the girl, "Stop your plumbing, I hear someone coming!"Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me."THE PLUMBER IN QUESTION IS A MR ROD BULGING, FROM IOWA. AFTER FITTING THREE KITCHENS & A BOUDOIR, ROD DEIGNED TO BE INTERVIEWED. THIS IS AN ABBREVIATED VERSION OF THAT INTERVIEW.B&B: So Rod, how's it hanging?ROD: It's good. Straight and true.B&B: I'd like to ask you, if I may, about your Limerick.ROD: Hell, is that what it is. OK.B&B: The aspects of setting, of topic, of voice seem to dominate, to direct the reading. Would that be a fair observation?ROD: Uh, actually, the dominant theme is, IMHO, what the plumber's up to with, uh, the client, ya get me?B&B: Loud and clear, Rod. Loud and clear. Now, in reading the Limerick one is struck by the fact that it gets to a dark place very quickly. There's no suspense here, is there?ROD: Well, Jeez, I gotta tell ya, this was a brief encounter. There wasn't t