Gabrielle started back to school today, her first day as a big fourth grader. She was so excited she didn’t even remember to kiss me goodbye, and I waited until she was out of sight to cry with joy shed a tear because I’d miss her so.
The day flew by, and when...
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ROCK HILL, Mo.—Earlier this week a Jefferson grade school student used his advanced mathematics skills to calculate his likelihood of being pummeled at the hands of larger, more popular children. Alex Mosley employed complex reasoning and social ratios to determine that he will almost certainly suffer a beating before month’s end.“First, I computed my annoyance ratio to determine the probability that each student would want to beat me up,” said Mosley. “Then I gauged that against the Beatings to Hand Raises Theory along with past historical data from my previous physical assaults.”To put his findings in layman’s terms, Mosley’s pretentiousness and poor conversational skills make him decidedly annoying. Pair that with his propensity to raise his hand for most teacher-posed questions and his past run-ins with more aggressive and popular peers, and one would have to believe Mosley will get his beating sometime soon."It will probably be like twelve kids who go after him,”
This is the first article that made me laugh out loud in a long time. This poor little bastard is so smart he can calculate when he is going to catch his next beating from the jealous kids that get D’s on their math tests.
The kids getting D’s are going to find it quite as funny when little Alex ends up being the guy that is signing their paychecks.
Alex Mosley employed complex reasoning and social ratios to determine that he will almost certainly suffer a beating before month’s end.
“First, I computed my annoyance ratio to determine the probability that each student would want to beat me up,” said Mosley. “Then I gauged that against the Beatings to Hand Raises Theory along with past historical data from my previous physical assaults.”
To put his findings in layman’s terms, Mosley’s pretentiousness and poor conversational skills make him decidedly annoying. Pair that with his propensity to raise his hand for most teacher-posed questions and his past run-ins with mor
Did anyone else watch Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? last night? I could say pure inertia made me watch it because it was on after American Idol (my guilty pleasure), but I'd be lying. My curiosity for a game show that sounds so simple - yet isn't - forced me to watch. I generally rate my appreciation for game shows based on if I think I could do well on the show. Deal or No Deal? I could easily do that show. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? I could do that, too, as long as Meredith let me ask her if she drinks around her kids. Jeopardy? OK, I'm not as good at that show, but I do feel proud when I can finish out an entire category.My first reaction was one of smug superiority: with the questions they gave, I could clean up in this game. The first contestant couldn't answer a single question without help! I found myself chanting the answers at the screen while he floundered for each question. The area of a triangle: 1/2 base times height...1/2 base times height...1/2 base times
