Dear Santa

Dear Santa, Do you see us when we’re sleeping, do you really know when we’re awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I’m skipping your house. Santa —— Dearest Santa, We don’t have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky Mark, First, stop calling yourself “Marky”, that’s why you’re getting your butt kicked at school. Second, you don’t live in a house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa —— Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam. Santa

Written by Nik Fletcher Filed under: Humor, iTS, Portables, Odds and ends, PowerBook, Steve Jobs, Apple, Macbook Pro, MacBook, iPhone, Holidays. Dear Santa Steve,. As my most recent bank statements show: I've most certainly not misbehaved over the course of ... Original story at The Unofficial Apple Weblog (TUAW) . View our complete collection of news and blogs, plus related videos, photos and more at Boxxet for Apple iPhone.

I've been an online shopping machine the past couple of evenings...what fun!! One of the cutest things ever, I was at the post office today sending these (all while my heart was melting):Dear SantaHow is Rudolph?Do you have Webkinz?Can you please surprise me withone?I was a good boy all through theyear you were watching meLove Trevor Dear SantaAre you excited for ChristmasDoes Mrs Claus do all of the cookingI would like a Princess Aurora dressformy Build-a-Bear HoppyMay I please have a Webkinzdalmation if you do not haveone please surprise me.Love Ben

I received this in an email from a friend and thought it was just too cute and I had to share. I can relate! Dear Santa, I’ve been a good mom all year. I’ve fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor’s office more than my doctor and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son’s red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I’ll find anymore free time in the next 18 years. Here are my Christmas wishes: I’d like a pair of legs that don’t ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don’t hurt or flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I’d also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh mon

 The Great Subscriber ChallengeWell here's an update on my 30 DAY SUBSCRIBER CHALLENGE with Susie Roscoe where I asked my friends and readers to consider subscribing to our new outside blog www.SandbarsToSunsets.com.So here are the results with less than 12 hours to go.....drum roll please.... we had 77 readers like you subscribe and I would like to say THANK YOU to those that helped me out and chose to stay connected and subscribe - we really appreciate having you in the "hammock"!!!So normally 77% is a failure in my book - I'm a 95%+ girl myself (lol) - However, when it comes to it - I realize that I had 77 people support our new blog and our efforts - and that's nothing but a good thing. If you missed it and want to help me out just Click to Subscribe to Sandbars to Sunsets and get the Daily Digest by Email (saved a seat in the hammock for you) So it looks like my friend and "accountability partner" Susie R

by Cheddar, numbsainWell, here we are again. November. The North pole mail bags are filling with greedy requests for everything from toy bazookas to new puppies to cartons of cigarettes to Jennifer Anniston's panties. Having been asked by the postal service to assist them in writing some responses, we here at Goldmind's Unwind have been busy working overtime to make sure every child gets a personally crafted, loving response to their pointless letters. Some we are so proud of, in fact, that we thought we'd post them for you the reader to admire. Fawn over. Hell, marry the answers if you like. And away we go.....Dear Santa,I really want a hamster this year. I've been good and lissened to mommy and daddy like I should, so pleese bring me a hamster! Pleese!CodyDear "Cody"-Look. Santa knows everything, remember? I know this is really Richard Gere, and you're not getting a hamster, gerbil, titmouse, prarie dog, or chinchilla! After what you did to the last one...well, you really ought

Around here the holiday season begins as soon as Halloween ends. (The BG doesn’t agree with me, but that’s when I say it starts and I’m the decorator!) We wanted to make sure Santa got the boy’s letter on time, so we wrote it yesterday. Christmas letters and labels are all I can do while I wait for our damn basement to get finished so I can get to my Christmas bins in the garage. Only six days into November and I’m already starting to get bitter about it! I love my sparkly silver tree (decorations, not branches) and am itching to get it set up! I need to sip cider and watch the lights twinkle as I sit in front of the fire in the evening. (Speaking of which, have you started shopping for the Much More Christmas Swap? I have! Dear Santa, Merry Christmas! Did you notice my new address at the top of this letter? We moved to a bigger house this summer because I’m getting a brother or sister for Christmas! We’ll be at home this year because my mo

Around here the holiday season begins as soon as Halloween ends. (The BG doesn’t agree with me, but that’s when I say it starts and I’m the decorator!) We wanted to make sure Santa got the boy’s letter on time, so we wrote it yesterday. Christmas letters and labels are all I can do while I wait for our damn basement to get finished so I can get to my Christmas bins in the garage. Only six days into November and I’m already starting to get bitter about it! I love my sparkly silver tree (decorations, not branches) and am itching to get it set up! I need to sip cider and watch the lights twinkle as I sit in front of the fire in the evening. (Speaking of which, have you started shopping for the Much More Christmas Swap? I have! Dear Santa, Merry Christmas! Did you notice my new address at the top of this letter? We moved to a bigger house this summer because I’m getting a brother or sister for Christmas! We’ll be at home this year because my mo

Hours of fun!I know this letter is a bit early, but can I please have a Scalextric set that will let me drift and do donuts in a Lamborghini Gallardo while being chased by a police Range Rover? Thank you!

I'm writing this letter to claim my major award from the captcha contest. I've been called a "funny guy" in the past (Mrs. Euphrony says it was done mockingly, but I think she's just jealous of my wit) and I'm glad that through shear volume I found some way of making you laugh and causing the stitches from your c-section to hurt. If the pictured item is not readily available, I will gladly claim the offered five free songs. While it could never match the "glow of electric sex" that this lamp would give, I will thoroughly enjoy the listening of them. Below is my list of song requests.Kate Rusby "The White Cockade"Beautiful voice, simply mesmerizing. My favorite song, which she does with her husband John McCusker on his album Yella Hoose, is "Night Visiting Song". Alas, iTunes is incomplete.Jason Gray "The Cut"I've been meaning to check out Jason Gray for a long time (since way before his name change to "Gray"). This is a good opportunity to do so. As a bonus, it features Sara Grove

Dear Santa,I know it's a bit early to write to you for my Christmas wish. But I was thinking maybe you could bend the rules a bit for me this year. Maybe I can have my Christmas present earlier, like on Easter instead?You and the reindeers could come here for a holiday and get a tan for a change. It will be fun! You don't even need to bring thick winter clothes. Just wear a sun shirt, shorts, slippers and don't forget the sunglasses too!Now back to my wish. Could I have a pair of wings, even for just one day? I desperately need to fly away for a break! I'm going bonkers!So, how is it? Could you fulfill my desperate wish, please!!! You need a break too, don't you?Hope to see you on Easter Sunday!With lots of love,WokkingMum

Dear Santa, I just returned from Miami Basel, and I viewed lots of art I want for Christmas such as the expensive Wangechi Mutu pieces. Do ya think you could put some of those under my tree for free? I've not been a very good girl. I wear naughty underwear--I tease--I lie a lot and embellish for a good story--I am tricky, sly, and overt, BUT I'm also truthful, candid, in-your-face for a good cause and not one to be messed with. Does this combination make me a candidate for some good art gifts? Or not? Please let me know so I can suck-up to the right fella and not waste any more of my time with you if you're not going to fetch this art for me, ok? Lovingly, THE One, the ONLY BLOG-BLOND Technorati Tags:Miami Basel, Miami + Art,Santa Letters, naughy and nice

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled mychildren on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor,sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade treeon the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list outover several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with myson's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room betweencycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18years.Here are my Christmas wishes:I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple,which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze;but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aislein the grocery s tore.I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventhmonth of my last pregnancy.If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprintresistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a televisionthat doesn't broadca